Pushing the words past the lump in my throat, I muster a weak smile. “Nothing’s up. I thought we could get some dinner or something—”
“I already ate.” He sets his glass down and looks at me like I’m the equivalent of a neighbor coming by to ask for a cup of sugar … and he doesn’t have any.
An embarrassing mess of emotions threatens to overtake my composure. “Okay, well…” I step back toward the elevator “…I guess I’ll see you around.”
He stares at me … no words, yet his silence says everything.
I shut the gate and flip the switch. With just one shaky breath my heart overflows with suffocating pain pushing a flood of emotions to the surface. Cupping my hand over my mouth, I hold my breath, my tears, and my sobs inside until a gush of air hits me as I emerge from his building.
The door slams shut and I lean against the side of the brick building and fall to pieces. I know the anger will hit at some point, and I’ll say the words to him that will give me back some dignity and help rebuild my confidence; but right now … I just need to cry.
Not being able to make sense of it just intensifies the pain. Was it my father? Rachel? The wealth that surrounds me? Wiping away the tears, I push off the side of the building and adjust my scarf so it covers most of my tear-stained face as I take shaky steps toward my car.
“Darby.” Trick’s voice at my back twists the knife a little deeper.
I stop, but I can’t turn and look at him.
“Come.”
Closing my eyes, a few more painful tears fall down my cheeks as I shake my head. Opening them I take in a breath of courage and continue walking to my car.
“Darby!”
My legs move faster until I’m jogging. With each pounding step I rush my heart to safety. Strong arms grab me from behind, and as he hugs me I completely shatter. My brain screams for him to let me go, but my words are buried under too many emotions. When love and anger collide, it rains down a flood of heartache. I hate feeling vulnerable; it hurts so fucking bad.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, just come back.”
“I-I don’t understand …”
Trick turns me around; the stoic face that I’m used to seeing has been replaced with dark eyebrows gathered in a pained expression. “I’m messed up and I should …” He squeezes his eyes shut.
Clenching my fingers into his shirt, I jerk at it. “What? You should what? Let me go?” Rage builds with each word, each breath.
He opens his eyes—regret. God, it’s so thick in his expression.
“If you try and give me the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ or ‘I should let you go’ bullshit story, I swear I will never forgive you.” I release a sob. “So fucking make up your mind…” I shake my head, emotions surging out of control “…because you’re killing me.”
Trick grabs my head, and fisting my hair he kisses me so hard it feels like he’s taking my very last breath. My tongue fights with his for control as desire turns into an insatiable need that can no longer be ignored. As he starts to ease up, I grab his face, holding his mouth to mine. Stopping or even slowing down feels impossible.
Grabbing my ass with a bruising grip, he lifts me up and I clench my legs around him as he moves toward the alley. He pushes my back against the unforgiving brick wall a few feet from his door and rips off my scarf. The friction from his rough face burns my sensitive skin as he sucks and drags his teeth over my flesh.
“Trick …” I grind my hips into him, feeling the head of his erection through his shorts. My mind flashes to ‘what if someone looks down the alley?’ but that’s all the further that thought goes. “Fuck me, Trick …”
His hands move under my blouse, and with the impatience I’m craving, he jerks down my bra and cups my breasts so hard I cry out in pain. Sliding one hand around, he palms my ass and stumbles the last few feet to the door. He types in the code while I reach between us, sliding my hand into his shorts.
“Fuck!” He throws open the door, staggering inside until my back hits the metal lattice elevator gate.
My grip on his cock hardens and so does he as I stroke him, grazing my thumb over the wet tip. Pulling my hand away, he sets me on my feet. Before he can slide the gate open, I hunch down taking his shorts and briefs with me.
“Darby—”
I take him in my mouth and suck until he falls forward with a clanging rattle of the gate, leaning his forehead against it and gripping it with his hands.