A miracle.
We needed a miracle. And what could be more miraculous than something all-knowing and all-powerful putting the unfixable pieces back together? So I decided to try the concept of power in numbers as I closed my eyes and asked for a miracle from a God I doubted. If her love was truly unconditional, she would not hold my wavering faith against Lila and Ronin.
I asked for more breaths.
More heartbeats.
More smiles and winks.
I asked for more moments.
Then I told Her I would let Her know when I was ready to let go. I realized it was a bold move on my part, but if there was truly something to “ask and you shall receive,” then I had nothing to lose.
Not true.
I had everything to lose.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Family.
Two days and many tests later, Ronin came home with a monitor and instructions to always have someone with him in case … well, Dr. Waters didn’t say the actual words, but it wasn’t hard to read between the lines.
In case his heart stopped doing its job.
“Your parents should be here in about two hours if their plane arrives on time.” I handed Ronin a cup of tea as he sat on the sofa with Anya asleep on his lap and Franz next to him, flipping through the pages of a book about sea creatures.
Best. Life. Ever.
“I want at least two more.” I grinned, taking my own tea to the recliner so I could just … stare at my world all cuddled onto the sofa.
“Two more cups of tea?” He brought the mug to his mouth and blew at the steam.
I smirked. “Kids. I’ve just been blown away by family since the accident. Our parents. Even Graham’s parents shocked me by showing up an hour after they moved Lila to the ICU. Graham didn’t think they were coming until the next morning. I know he hated them seeing him so broken—weak in his words—but that’s the point, right? I mean, of course I want to have lots of days like this … fire, hot drinks, books, and naps with our kids. I want to travel the world with them. Birthdays. Graduations. All the good stuff. We brought them into the world for all of that … but also because no matter how strong we think we are, everyone needs someone at some point in their life.”
A barely detectable smile graced Ronin’s face. “I’ll have a dozen kids with you, Evelyn.”
“What’s wrong?” I set my tea onto the coffee table and moved to the sofa, scooting Franz and his pile of books over just far enough to allow me to sit by Ronin. “You’re in pain. I can tell. Why? What’s hurting you? Is it your heart? Are you having trouble breathing? Do you feel dizzy or lightheaded?”
We had a defibrillator just feet from the sofa on the kitchen counter. I knew how to use it. Ronin had a heart monitor. Yet, I wasn’t truly prepared to administer CPR or shock my husband in front of our two kids. My parents were at the hospital with Lila, planning on coming to our house close to the time of Ronin’s parents’ arrival.
Just a couple of hours. He had to keep his heart beating a couple more hours—forever really—but at the very least, a couple more hours.
“I’m just…” he shook his head, but it didn’t erase the tension on his forehead or release the tiny creases next to his eyes “…fine. It’s nothing.”
Twisting my body to the side, I grabbed his face. “Don’t lie to me,” I whispered so Franz didn’t focus in on us. “I know when you’re in pain, so don’t tell me it’s nothing. Tell me where and how bad.”
“I ache all over. But my leg especially. Can you take Anya?”
“Of course.” I scooped up her limp body and carried her to the bedroom, managing to lay her down without waking her. A true feat.
“Franz, your grandmas and grandpas will be here soon. I think you should go to your room and color pictures for them.” I kissed the top of his head.
He loved to color and draw. Ronin felt certain he got Julien’s artistic talent.
“Okay!” He slammed his book shut and ran to his bedroom, leaving a scattering of books on the sofa and floor for me to pick up.
Ronin rubbed his right leg, grimacing a bit.
“Roe … I’m scared.” I drew in a brave breath as I sat next to him without touching him. It took lots of slow, deep breaths to keep from breaking down. Franz didn’t need to see me crying. I had no way to explain it.
“Why are you scared?”
My gaze remained on his hand slowly rubbing his leg. “Because I’ve researched all the possible things Dr. Waters said might have caused your heart to stop beating, and none of them had body aches and leg pain as symptoms. They’re missing something, and I’m so scared that they won’t figure it out until it’s too late.”