Ronin grabbed my naked hips as he dropped to his knees. Still, I couldn’t look him in the eye.
“Evie …” he whispered. “I don’t want to forget what I just saw.”
My face flushed all over again as I resigned myself to the fact that he wasn’t going to let me get away with a simple “forget about it.” I tried to keep my breath steady, tried to hide how his hands on my hips did things to me.
The rough pads of his lumberjack fingers slid up the sides of my torso, taking my T-shirt with them.
I dropped the vibrator and lube. “Roe …”
“Shh …” He pulled my shirt over my head. “Look at me, Evie.”
Embarrassment turned into pain. Weeks of loneliness and heartbreak over my husband … my friend … Lila … it all rushed to the surface, bleeding out with a single look at the one person I needed more than anyone else to feel me.
“I’m the one who’s sorry, baby.” His mouth claimed mine, his tongue sliding against mine in slow, deep strokes as he removed my bra.
My hands dove into his hair, hoping with the deepest desperation that he would be able to take it all the way. I didn’t touch him there. I couldn’t bear the rejection, so I took the kiss. I took his hands on my body, caressing my skin, cupping my breasts, giving me pleasure. I took everything he offered without asking for anything in return.
We kissed forever. The more we kissed, the more I feared it was as far as he could go. I willed myself to keep from crying, silently mourning that deepest intimacy.
“Touch me, Evie.” He held my head as his lips moved from my mouth to my jaw, my ear, and down my neck.
I kept my eyes closed, feeling intoxicated all over again, but it wasn’t the wine; it was all him. My fingertips traced the lines of his abs so slowly. Each muscle contracted beneath my touch. The instant I reached his waistband, I felt him almost breaking through the thin fabric.
Relief washed along my body with a renewed urgency between us when my hand slid along his erection.
He moaned, and his kiss became more demanding as he sucked and bit his way along my skin to my breasts. I let go … I let go of everything. We turned into the lovers we were that first night in his condo.
Two frantic bodies incapable of getting close enough, moving together fast enough, penetrating deep enough … hard enough.
His touch was rough, but so was mine. He marked me with his mouth sucking my neck and breasts and his bruising grip on my ass. I marked him with my teeth planted into his shoulder as I used him to muffle my cries when I orgasmed—also marking him with my nails along his back.
I love you. And I will never belong to anyone but you.
My body fell limp beneath the suffocating pressure of his naked torso collapsed onto mine. We were nothing but sweaty, breathless deadweight on the floor of the closet. And I didn’t want to ever move. I wanted that moment to last forever. I wanted to stay that connected to Ronin for the rest of my life.
My fingers tickled the nape of his neck as the warm air from his mouth brushed along my shoulder.
“Again,” I whispered.
“Again,” he echoed, climbing off me and carrying me to the shower where we did it all over again.
After we ran out of hot water, he wrapped me in a towel. I lifted onto my toes and kissed him slowly. The towel slipped from my body. “Again,” I whispered over his lips.
“Again.” He grinned against my mouth before hoisting me up to his waist and carrying me to bed.
We slowed it down.
We whispered all the words except those three words that still hadn’t made an audible debut between us.
We softened our hold on each other, leaving behind all the desperation, letting every kiss linger, letting every touch spread along our naked bodies and seep into our intertwined souls. And while we eventually reached the point of release, it wasn’t about that. It was about making amends, healing wounds, and tightening those invisible bonds that had always held us together.
Ronin held me the rest of the night, and I said a silent prayer to God, imaginary or not, asking her to help us navigate the road ahead. It scared me. It scared me so very much.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ronin
I woke up at four in the morning. The ringing in my ears had returned, but I didn’t feel bad … yet. In fact, I felt pretty damn good with naked Evie’s naked backside spooned into me. Under normal circumstances, I would have been a kind husband and a patient lover, letting my wife sleep—after all, we’d only had two hours of sleep—but I didn’t know how long the feeling would last. And at that moment, a certain part of me wanted Evie very much.