The Life You Stole (Life Duet 2)

I couldn’t speak. Disbelief and shock paralyzed my words.

“Hop up.” He nudged me from his lap like a dog no longer needed for any sort of comfort. “I have to shower. Tomorrow will be a fresh start.” He stood, a disappointing grimace spread across his face. “I thought today was the fresh start. It felt that way in your office.” He brushed his knuckles over my cheek. “I knelt at your feet.” The corner of his mouth curled upward a fraction. “I worshipped you. And you enjoyed it. I could taste it.”

The physical abuse hurt less than the emotional degradation.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Evelyn

“I’m pregnant!” Katie squealed over the phone as I finished my early morning jog, slowing to a walk as I reached the end of our long drive.

I needed to find an exercise routine again. My mom’s cancer and dealing with her death made it hard to feel motivated. Ronin’s onset of depression, which he refused to acknowledge, made it necessary for me to find time alone to exercise, breathe in the mountain air, and clear my mind. A mind filled with self-doubt and uncertainty. Since the night Ronin caught me masturbating in our closet, he’d been back to his no-sex-drive self. Of course he never said those actual words; he masked the truth with excuses like migraines and fear of a cold setting in that he didn’t want to give to me.

“Oh, Katie. I’m really happy for you.”

She laughed. “Wow. Could you have said that with any less enthusiasm? What’s up with you?”

I used to do a better job of selling my act, my fake enthusiasm. Married life. Mom life. Friendships-falling-apart life. They’d worn me down. The act felt like too much work.

That … and Graham’s money made Katie’s pregnancy possible.

“Whatever. I won’t let you rain on my parade today, Evie. Oh, if it’s a boy, we’re naming him Porter. If it’s a girl, Porter will be the middle name. I promised Graham I’d use his family’s name. And honestly, I think Porter is a really cool name. I love surnames as first names. What do you think?”

I stopped, resting my hands on my knees, feeling nauseous and ready to pull my ear pods out of my head so I didn’t have to hear any more about Graham. “I think if you didn’t put it in writing that you’d name your child Porter, then you name the child whatever you want to name him or her. Maybe something special to our family or Tanner’s family.”

“Tanner loves the name Porter too. Besides, Graham and his family have done everything for our family. Sometimes I feel like we both owe him more than a name, we owe him … our firstborn.” She laughed.

I wretched but nothing came up.

“Kidding. I’m not suggesting you give Franz to Graham.” More laughing from my blissfully ignorant sister who had no idea the Devil impregnated her.

Standing straight, I tipped my chin up, pointing my face at the sky and the shards of light breaking through the trees.

Mom.

I needed our mom.

“I just finished a jog, and I’m out of shape. So I’m sorry if my enthusiasm didn’t carry through the phone. Of course I’m thrilled for both of you. I can’t wait to have a little niece or nephew.”

“Thank you, Evie.”

“Give Dad a hug for me.” I made my way toward the house again, dragging my tired feet along the gravel.

“Will do. Bye.”

Before I made it to the front door, the garage door opened. I backtracked to the side of the house. Ronin slipped on his jacket as he stood at the door to his Subaru.

“How was your jog?”

“Fine. Where are you going? I thought you had the weekend off.”

“I did. But Andy called. He’s sick. I said I’d teach his first aid and CPR class today—in Denver.” Ronin frowned. “The kids are still asleep. I put our sheets in the washer, and oatmeal is warm on the stove.”

“You’re a good man.” I stuck out my lower lip. “But I’m not going to pretend that I’m not a little bummed. There’s a nip in the air. I thought today might be a good day for a fire. Hot chocolate. Books. Puzzles. Snuggles.” My hands curled into his jacket as I lifted onto my toes to give him a soft kiss. “If I’m even more honest, I was hoping the kids would still be asleep and you’d shower with me this morning.” I grinned against his mouth.

“Later. I’ll definitely want it later.” He turned toward the car door without so much as a returned kiss or a hug goodbye. I hid my disappointment underneath my captive breath, the creeping of self-doubt into my fragile conscience.

As he opened the door, I couldn’t keep my feelings completely to myself. “It’s okay for you to want it now, even if you can’t have it now.”