The Life You Stole (Life Duet 2)

I feel so stupid. So blind. So trapped.

He manipulates me. It’s not rough sex. It’s not a physical need. At least … not anymore. I blindly fell for his excuses because he hurt me during sex. He justifies it. He makes me feel like my orgasm rights any sort of wrongs. It always leaves me confused because I love Graham. I love our intimacy, and sometimes I love the intensity, even when a little pain is the price to pay for pleasure. My desire to please him blinds me.

Today, everything changed. It’s not a fetish or a preference. It’s a sickness. Only a sick man breaks his wife’s nose because she playfully grabbed his phone when he wouldn’t give her his attention. I wanted him to notice me, my new white dress. Now, that white dress is in the trash, covered in blood.

“Oh my god …” I whispered as my tears fell to the pages. It didn’t stop. So much detail. I remembered her broken nose. It was shortly after I found out I was pregnant with Franz.

Ronin … I feel so responsible. I should have died on that mountain. I wanted to die. Why did he try to save me? I didn’t want to be saved. How am I still here? …

“Lila …” I whispered. It wasn’t an accident that day. She went in the wrong direction on purpose. My friend. How did I not see it?

The bruises are getting hard to hide …

Graham called me Evelyn during sex …

I thought about ending my life today, but I don’t want to add to Evelyn’s stress. Her mom is not well. She needs me …

My biggest dream became my worst nightmare when the pregnancy test came back positive …

I can’t even breathe. I told Graham about the baby. He said I had to get rid of it. I said no. He got rid of the baby. The bleeding stopped two days ago, but I still have the bruises. He was right. We can’t have children.

It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. Ronin wasn’t dead. And Graham didn’t kill his own child. Things like that only happened in horror movies. Only fictional characters could be that monstrous.

It just … wasn’t real.

Pages. So many pages of awful, gruesome, heartbreaking detail.

Ronin hugged me and he said it made his pain go away. It made mine go away too …

I had to find an excuse for my bruises … so now I have leukemia.

“Jesus …” My hand flew to my mouth. I could barely read the words through my tears. It wasn’t real. I pleaded with any god who would listen to me, begging for it to not be real.

Evie told me Graham gave her the Clean Art building. He loves her. I wonder if he ever loved me …

Ronin needed me again today. It feels incredible to be needed. Evelyn is so lucky …

Graham has sex with me when I don’t want it. That’s rape. I think. I’m not sure. I don’t think his sick mind understands what he’s doing, and I don’t know how to help him …

I just want to die …

I shaved my head to look the part of a leukemia patient. Graham hit me. He thinks I’m ugly now. How did this happen to me? …

Ronin made me feel beautiful today. I felt something for him I should not feel. I think it did something to him. He felt tortured when he felt my desire for him. I can’t imagine what it must be like to feel two people at once. Nothing happened. We love Evelyn.

I sobbed thinking of what I always told Graham. We love Lila more.

The pages were never ending, the revelations dizzying.

I walked in on Graham masturbating to a video of him and Evie having sex. It shattered me. There are no real words to describe my level of brokenness. The complete desolate feeling of betrayal by the person I loved more than anyone in this world.

“What? No. No, no, no …” My jaw hung in the air. Lies. What was wrong with her? It suddenly made me question everything I’d read up to that point.

He raped me again. I let him. I bit his face. His bitter blood tasted like a tiny bit of revenge. Then he nearly suffocated me with a pillow. Why did he stop? …

I want to die … We agreed I would die …

Ronin needed me today. I needed him too. I wore a pretty dress with my best lingerie underneath it. I wonder what Evelyn wore to seduce Graham? I guess nothing lasts forever. Not even lifelong friends …

I felt him at my back, turned on, begging me to stop. I couldn’t stop. And if he’d known about Graham and his wife, he wouldn’t have wanted me to stop. I take away his pain. All of it …