Perfectly Adequate

“Jules, please.”

Jules … I kinda hate that he has a nickname for her. No nicknames for me. Nope. Just Dorothy. Some people try to call me Dot or Dottie. Those choices don’t sound as smooth or as cool as Jules. And I just hate Dot and Dottie. So I have to stick with Dorothy.

Jules squeezes his arm and nods. “I’ll be right outside.”

“Thanks.”

He watches her leave the room before giving me a solid grin. “Did you have a good day?”

“Did you clear the room just to ask me that?” I shuffle my sneakers toward him, sitting on the edge of his bed.

He rests his hand on my leg. “Sure. But for the record, I was planning on asking them to leave anyway, just to look at you without being interrupted.”

“Your eye looks so much better.”

“Better to see you with, my dear.”

I giggle.

“I wouldn’t be okay with your ex-husband staying with you if you were unable to take care of yourself.”

“I don’t have an ex-husband. Never been married.”

His mouth quirks up a bit on one side. “What I’m saying is, it’s okay for you to not want Julie to stay with me and take care of me. I’ll hire an in-home nurse.”

“You’ll get to see Roman every day if she stays with you.”

“True, but at what cost?”

I shrug. “Sounds like no cost. I don’t think she’s going to charge you.”

“You know what I mean. What will be the cost to us?”

“My life won’t change. I have school and work. And you’ll get to see Roman every day. I’d think you were crazy for passing up this opportunity. I’m jealous you’ll get to hang out with him every day. He’s way cooler than my classmates or anyone at the hospital.”

“You’re sure … about Julie?”

I laugh. “She’s my idol. I’d choose her to watch me if I were out of commission.”

“Gee … thanks a lot.”

“Anytime, Dr. Hawkins.”

He rolls his eyes.

“You’ll come over, right? Dinner? Movie nights? Pasta? Xbox?”

Just the four of us. Sounds super awesome. Super awkward. Super unlikely.

“Did you catch the part where I said I have school, work, a dog, two emus, and aging parents?”

“Did you catch the part where I love you? The part that craves time with you?”

I sigh. “I’ll visit when I can.” I mean it. I also have a busy schedule.

“It will be awesome having Roman around more again. God … I miss him so much when he’s with Julie. I just…” a tiny frown steals his smile “…miss him.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Remember When

Elijah

My family has a coming home party for me the next day. Dorothy has to work. Roman goes crazy over the balloons and cake, and Julie wastes no time rearranging things around the house, including shit in my kitchen and bathroom.

“I’m so glad you’re home … and alive. But you should rest now.” Mom kisses my cheek as everyone funnels toward the door.

“Need help getting him upstairs?” Dad asks Julie.

“I think I’ve got it. But thank you.”

Roman gives everyone goodbye hugs and kisses. A few minutes later, it’s just the three of us. It immediately feels weird and familiar at the same time. It’s not the house we lived in together, but most of the furniture is the same. Julie wanted a complete break from our life together which included a new home and all new furnishings. I wanted a better view, and an easy commute, but was fine with the old furniture. I knew Roman would work hard on destroying it anyway.

“I forgot how comfy this leather recliner is.” Julie plops down in the brown recliner while I stay perched on the matching sofa with my casted leg on the coffee table.

“Well, you can’t have it now.” I grin.

She rolls her eyes. “I said it’s comfy, not stylish.”

“Suits Roman and me.”

I wait for her comeback. It defines the previous year. Little jabs here and there, but rarely anything like a boxing match. We manage to always bring it back to Roman. We’re in it for him. I often wonder, if we hadn’t had Roman, would she have left Portland? Would I have ever seen her again?

There’s something different about her right now. So much of her feels familiar, like the Julie I fell in love with twenty-two years ago. But on the outside, I don’t recognize her—the red hair, the breasts, the clothes that hug her curves a little bit more than the comfortable, sensible outfits she wore when we were married.

“Mommy! I’m hungry.” Roman zooms down the stairs and barrels toward her, jumping onto her lap.

“Oopf!” She hugs him, rocking him a bit as he hugs her back.

My world.

My life.

Right here, but not completely real anymore. For a moment, when Julie glances at me and smiles over Roman’s shoulder, I feel like the previous year never happened, like maybe I didn’t just wake up after an accident, maybe I woke up from the nightmare that my wife left me.