“I peed on that stick less than thirty minutes ago. I don’t have a plan yet.”
“Are you planning on keeping it? Are you planning on telling him?”
“I …” I shake my head. “Of course I’m keeping it.”
She cringes. “I didn’t mean to imply that you shouldn’t. I simply respect a woman’s right to choose.”
If only she respected my right to my pregnancy test.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Her head cants to the side.
Damn she’s good. Solid. Unyielding. Formidable in her own way.
“Did you rape Elijah?”
“What?” My head jerks backward. “No!”
“Then why would you apologize for having consensual sex with him?”
“Because I gave him back to you so Roman can have a home with two parents who get to see him every day because that’s the dream. And Roman is too young to live anything short of a dream if it’s even a remote possibility.”
I sigh, hoping my heart will settle down, hoping she’ll let me leave so I can deal with this in some way that doesn’t involve her giving me the third degree, demanding I make life-changing decisions right this second.
“You’re right. Roman does deserve that. And I love Eli. And there’s nothing I want more than this second chance with him.”
I work my teeth into my bottom lip so hard I can taste blood. “I’m not taking him away from you, but I have to tell him. You know this, right? And we’ll figure something out. But I’m not ready to tell him yet. If you want me to let you know when I’m ready to tell him, I can do that.”
She turns her back on me and drops her head, cupping a hand on the back of her neck. “You can go now.”
I don’t need to be told twice.
* * *
Elijah
“I need to go.” I unfold from the chair as my mom stands and makes her usual Friday trip around her desk to give me a hug and kiss.
“Thanks for lunch. We’ll pick Roman up around five. I’m proud of you for giving Julie another chance. You are a kind man and an incredible father. So just enjoy your weekend alone with Julie. You both need this, especially after a solid three weeks of someone being sick in your house. Everyone will be well-rested and in a good mood for Thanksgiving next week.”
I nod. “Yeah. Okay, then I’ll see you later.”
I head back to work. If I didn’t know better, I’d say the universe is conspiring to keep me from having sex with Julie. And while I still can’t get Dorothy out of my mind, I need to make an effort to move forward and show Julie my intentions are real.
So now that everyone is finally well, I’m sending Roman to spend the weekend with my parents while I work on my relationship with Julie—while I reconnect with her.
God … I hope it falls into place. I hope all the old feelings come rushing back because I can’t live a life with her if every damn day my heart beats for another woman.
I get home a few minutes before five, a little surprised that my mom and dad aren’t here yet. “Hey.” I smile at Julie when I walk into the kitchen.
“Hey.” She returns my smile, but it’s not quite as big as mine.
“Rough day?” I ask, looking over my shoulder as I wash my hands.
She sips a glass of red wine and shrugs. “You could say that.”
My gaze makes a quick sweep of her body covered by the same clothes she wore to work—fitted black pants and a soft pink blouse showing a bit of cleavage. Her hair is down. And her lips are covered in red.
“You look like a million bucks.” I mean it, and I feel a sense of accomplishment for saying it without tripping over any guilt.
“Thank you.” Julie stares at her wine glass, swirling it a bit while I pour myself a glass of it. “I love you, Elijah.” She keeps her chin tipped to her chest.
“I know.” I lean against the counter next to her, brushing a strand of hair away from her eye, coaxing her to look at me again. Over the past few weeks, while muddling through a mess of sickness, I felt every breath of her love. The way she cared for me and Roman when she wasn’t feeling well herself. I witnessed the woman I fell in love with so many years ago.
A world of vulnerability resides in her eyes and the deep lines along her forehead as she forces a smile. “I’m in. Even if it’s a long shot at best … I’m in.”
I brush my hand down her arm. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I want a life with you. The one I took away. I want it back. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want it. You. Me. Roman. There’s nothing I want more. So I’ll fight for us until I get my family back. Or…” she blinks, averting her gaze to the side “…until you tell me the fight is over.”