Julie turns, her breath shaky on a slow inhale as she walks toward the front window to her spacious great room. “I know, Eli.”
“I want us to be okay, Jules. Maybe not today. Maybe not for some time, but I want us to give Roman the best of us apart and together. I don’t want him to ever see me do anything but love you. Because I do … I love you with a part of myself that will always belong only to you.”
She turns, blinking more silent tears that she quickly wipes from her face as she shrugs. “So that’s what we do … we give him everything. Me. You. Us. And the woman who idolizes me.”
“Jesus, Jules …” I shake my head and allow myself to return the same tiny grin she has on her own face. “Are you going to lord this over me forever?”
She laughs. It’s still partially a sob, but I can tell she’s trying so hard to make this right. “Yes. You’ll get her love, but I’ll get her respect.”
My eyebrows shoot up my forehead. “You think she doesn’t respect me?”
“Well …” Julie straightens her robe like she would straighten her lab coat, shoulders back, chin up. “I’m sure there’s some respect there, but I don’t think she could ever think of you as a boss bitch.”
I have a million comebacks, starting with the fact that I’m pretty sure men can’t be boss bitches. But I don’t give her anything more than my silence and an easy nod. She’s hurting. I know this because I recognize the false confidence. I’ve lived it for the past year. Letting go of your first love is pretty fucking painful. And as much as people might think she let go of me last year, she didn’t. Not really.
This. This is her truly letting go.
This is me … letting go.
“Eli …” As more tears fill her eyes, I fight my own emotions, and she sees it. This time she hugs me.
This time she comforts me.
We hold each other for so long, I’m not sure what time of day it is. It’s a silent goodbye. It’s painful. It’s exactly what it should be because we’ve been each other’s world—each other’s everything—for so long. I spent a lifetime with this woman.
Now, I kiss her on the cheek one last time as I release her, turn, and walk out the door to spend a lifetime with Dorothy Mayhem.
EPILOGUE
New Neighbors
Seven (ish) months later …
“I’m a whale. A whale in a gown. A whale with a hat. How do you like that?”
“Are you ghost writing for Dr. Seuss?” I ask Dorothy, the mother of my child—a girl we were told. My superhero. My exercise buddy. My almost everything … except Roman. Oh … and she’s not my wife.
Nope.
No marriage for Dorothy Mayhem.
Just as well. It would be a crime to change that awesome name of hers.
I adjust her graduation cap before kissing her coconut-flavored lips while holding Violet Riley Mayhem Hawkins in my hands as she kicks inside her mom’s belly.
Yes, I’m getting ready to live a life of Riley and mayhem.
“Does this gown make me look fat?” Dorothy continues, frowning.
“Nurse Mayhem, I’ve had about enough of you insulting the woman I love. Can you give it a break? Put a smile on your face. And go plant your sexy booty in that chair to get your diploma.”
“Think you’ll actually stick with this one?” Her dad smirks, referring to her many degrees.
Dorothy shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m kind of getting sick of the hospital scene.”
I laugh to lighten the mood. Her parents? They don’t laugh because they know she’s not joking. I know it too, but this woman has my baby inside of her. I don’t give a shit whether or not she gets an actual job as a nurse.
My Dorothy wanders through life. And as long as she always makes it back to me, I don’t care if she spends an eternity in college, getting twenty different degrees, or pushing patients around a hospital, or gleaning every night of the week.
“Dorothy … I will clap for you.” Roman hugs her legs, and she bends down to hug him back. My son loves her, maybe more than me. She’s worthy of that kind of love. She’s just … fucking perfection.
“Thanks, Romeo.”
“Kisses for Violet.” He presses his hands to her belly and kisses his baby sister.
“I’m going to cry …” Kellie wipes her eyes.
“Please don’t, Mom. I’m puffy everywhere else. Can you not make me cry with your sappiness?”
“It’s happiness, not sappiness.” Kellie rolls her eyes at Dorothy. “We’re going to take Roman to find seats. I love you.” She hugs her daughter.
Dorothy makes her usual awkward attempt to hug her mom back, but Violet has complicated things. As if that’s even possible with a Dorothy Mayhem hug.