Then, once I was sure he was gone, I’d get up, get dressed, walk to the homestead for coffee or walk into the kitchen to see Harriet.
We’d sit and eat breakfast together, talk. One morning she’d decided I needed to know the basics of gardening, so we donned sunhats and gloves and spent the day in the soil.
That was where Duke had found us. By this point we’d taken a margarita break and forgotten about lunch. Anna had joined us and we had dirt on our hands and laughter in our hearts.
I’d sobered immediately when something started blocking the sun. Something large. Duke was staring down at us, cutting a harsh yet beautiful silhouette.
It was the look in his eyes that cut through any kind of buzz tequila could give me. Each day, it got more intense. Softer. Full of something that couldn’t be real, again making it hard to know where the act ended and the truth began.
So I did the only sane thing, I drank more margaritas and got myself buzzed enough to the point I passed out the second we got home from dinner that evening.
I woke up the next morning in bed, with a faint headache, and not wearing a night gown. Instead, I was encased in Duke’s scent, wearing a faded tee that he’d obviously worn before. It felt better than the finest silk.
“Figured you might need this.”
Duke entered the room, fully dressed, and placed a steaming cup of coffee on the nightstand.
I moved up in the bed and made the mistake of making eye contact. His eyes were twinkling with a little amusement, warmth, and a whole lot of hunger. He leaned in to kiss my head. “Like you in my tee, babe,” he murmured against my forehead. He pulled back just when I was going to forget all my promises I’d made to myself and pull him back into bed.
His expression told me he was feeling the same. “Don’t look at me like that, baby,” he rasped. “Gotta be out of here in less than a minute. And what I’m planning on doing to you is gonna take hours. Not gonna start somethin’ I can’t finish properly.”
I clenched my thighs together, and my panties were already soaked with need. I couldn’t even find my tongue. Couldn’t sling a retort back to him.
“Gotta say, Anastasia,” he continued. “I like walkin’ in here and seeing you’ve planted roots.”
And on that note, he left.
The words followed me around for the rest of the day. Even with Harriet to distract me, I was troubled. I did my best to avoid Duke at dinner and feigned sleep while he was showering.
This wasn’t an act I could continue. This week had been pure luck, with ranch tasks pulling Duke’s attention away from me. But it was just a matter of time.
I was no closer to finding a way to build my shields back up, so feeding the horses was an essential part of the routine to keep me even.
But in order to feed the horses I had to walk past the arena—where Duke was training the newest horse.
It was running around him in circles, and he was guiding it. All of his focus was on that horse. Normally, he’d notice me watching. That was just who he was. Whatever he’d done in his past had made it so there was no such thing as calm for him. He was always alert, expecting the next threat. The more time I spent with him, the more I understood why he’d had to leave this place. Whatever he’d seen and done over there had changed him, changed his insides. He couldn’t be in a place like this, a place of beauty. Love. A place where the ghost of his past self formerly walked.
I totally got it.
Even though my heart broke for him.
Broke for whoever he used to be. He would’ve had a good life here, a good woman, children.
But life didn’t work that way.
So I tried to shake off my sorrow, my grief for him.
And I just watched.
Watching Duke longe this horse was weirdly erotic.
Well, it wasn’t weird, as watching Duke do anything had become erotic.
It was weird how deeply he touched me, beyond the fact he was a hot guy in a cowboy hat, jeans that were made for him, training a horse. That was part of it, sure. But there was something else. Something inside me that was desperate to sink my nails into his skin, clutch his bones so I never had to lose him.
But I would.
Lose him, that was.
We all lost everyone eventually.
Both Duke and I were too focused that we didn’t notice Tanner had climbed the fence until he was in the middle of the arena.
The horse stopped abruptly, as if it could sense the aggression in the air. I could taste it, and I wasn’t even near them.