“Making you and Kingsley kiss,” Rhyland mumbles. Then a hand touches my shoulder and Rhyland steers me toward him, his eyes wild with uncertainty. “What did you mean by that?”
I shrug, my hands falling to my side. “It’s what I was going to tell you.” My gaze flits to Kingsley, who’s staring at me with an unreadable expression.
I wonder if he has an idea of what I’m about to say. I mean, at some point he had to wonder why him and I had a sudden desire to kiss each other, especially right after he found out that Rhyland and I had kissed and bit each other that night.
Ripping my gaze off Kingsley, I focus on Rhyland. “After you walked in on Kingsley and I… Well, you know... But anyway,” I clear my throat. “Kingsley immediately took off to find you and I headed to find you too, but then I noticed this wing-shaped barrette right beside the blood Kingsley and I drank minutes earlier. It was the barrette the fey queen tried to give me when you left me on the balcony and I ran into her. Only when she tried to give it to me, it had this vial attached to it that was filled with pale purple, glittering liquid.”
“Euphoric faerie dust,” Rhyland mumbles.
I can see the wheels in his head turning, the truth starting to click.
“That’s what it was—I sniffed the vial to be sure,” I tell him. “But the vial was empty when I found it, which means—”
“Someone put it into the blood that you and Kingsley drank.” Rhyland drags his fingers through his hair and breathes out, “Holy fucking shit.”
“Yep, that about summed up my thoughts when I saw the memory,” I say.
Rhyland lowers his arm to his side. “When did you remember this?”
“Back in the tent, when I…” My gaze skims around his neck and his chest and the memory of the taste of his blood floods my body, causing hunger to burn inside me. It’s been so long since I’ve had any blood… “Well, you know. And then Nadine knocked me out. That’s when I remembered.” I yank my gaze off his neck and stare at the space of wall just over his shoulder, too afraid to look at him, too afraid that I’ll lose control of my hunger. “I would’ve told you guys sooner, but we haven’t been alone since it happened, and I’m not sure how much Harper and Dex know about all of this, so I thought it’d be better to wait until we were alone.”
“It’s good that you did,” Rhyland says. I can feel his gaze burning into me, but I refuse to look at him. “Dex and Harper know a lot about the curse, but it’s good to keep some of the information between just the three of us. When we tell others, we risk it getting back to the queen.”
“That makes sense.” I dare return my gaze to Rhyland, but he’s no longer looking at me.
No, he’s staring at Kingsley, his face contorted in perplexity.
“Why didn’t you tell me that maybe you two were drugged when you kissed?” Accusation simmers in Rhyland’s voice. “I know you might not have known about the vial itself, but you did know what getting high of euphoric faerie dust felt like. You had to know something wasn’t right.”
“Maybe I did.” Kingsley’s calculated gaze is fastened on Rhyland. “Maybe I just never wanted to say it.”
My walls instantly go up. “Is there something you guys aren’t telling me about this? Is there more to it than I remember?”
“Not that I know of.” Rhyland stares his brother down hard. “But maybe you should direct your question to my brother, because I’m quite curious about the answer myself.”
“Even if I knew more, who says I can even tell you.” He pushes to his feet. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go do my duty as the queen’s Blood Protector and make sure everything is okay in the outside perimeters.” He strides past me without so much as making eye contact and slips out the door, leaving me to wonder if perhaps he knows more.
If perhaps in knew the vial was there all along.
Raven
Rhyland and I silently stare at the door that Kingsley stormed out of for a lengthy amount of time until finally I can’t take the maddening silence anymore.
“He’s acting offish,” I comment confusedly. Between him and Rhyland, Rhyland always seemed like the offish of the two. Kingsley seemed more blunt, even in past memories. “Kingsley, I mean.”
“Yes, he is,” Rhyland mumbles, his gaze practically burrowing a hole into the door.
“Do you want to go check on him?” I brush strands of my hair out of my face, noting how tangled my hair is. How long has it been since I showered?
The fact that I have to ask myself that question makes me cringe.
He shakes his head. “It won’t do any good.” He finally looks at me. “I’m not sure how much you remember about my brother, but he’s not the kind of vampire to tell you stuff unless he wants to.”
“So then what? We just wait around until he feels like telling us whatever he knows about that night? Because what if it’s something important? That could maybe even help me figure how to break the curse completely before the queen decides to end it by killing me? Because personally, I don’t want that to happen”
“That won’t happen,” he vows fiercely. “And if what Kingsley knew would help you break the curse, he’d tell you if he could.” He looks away. “He cares about you too much.”
“If you say so.” But lack of not knowing everything unsettles me and has me question just how much I even know about the curse and my relationship between Rhyland and Kingsley.
I thought because my memories were returning that it meant I wasn’t in the dark anymore. But now I feel like I’m drifting in an unknown sea of darkness, which I guess doesn’t make any sense since, according to Rhyland and Kingsley, I’m currently floating around in a creature made of light.
“Am I really inside a creature?” I ask as reality washes over me.
Rhyland offers me a tiny smile but worry haunts his eyes. “Yeah, I guess you sort of are.”
“It seems sort of disgusting, although its light is very pretty.” I sink down on the bed with a sigh. “How long do we have to stay in here?”
He sits down beside me, so close that the sides of our legs touch. Instinctively, I start to scoot away, like I would’ve only weeks ago, but my body doesn’t seem to want to cooperate anymore.
Damn traitor body.
“We haven’t decided yet.” He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, and I sort of feel sorry for him, since my hair is like a bats’ nest and has got to be pretty yucky. “I’m not sure how much Kingsley told you about what happened before we came into the shimmer blob or how much you remember…”
“I remember up until you put the freezing spell was put me. And Kingsley didn’t tell me much about what happened after that.”
“Then what were you guys doing in here after you woke up?” He shakes his head, his jaw set tight. “Never mind. I’d rather not know.”
I start to tell him we weren’t doing much of anything except talking, not that I owe him an explanation, but he speaks first.
“Nadine possessed Harper’s body for a bit and got control over Kingsley’s too,” he says with a weighted sigh.
“What?” Tension ravels through my body as my gaze zips to the door. “Is everyone unpossessed now?
“Of course and we had a witch doctor do a spell that will protect everyone here from getting possessed again.” He takes my hands in his. “If everyone wasn’t safe from possession, they wouldn’t be near you right now.”
I chill down a blood drop. “It’s still so unsettling that Nadine can do that… Has she always been able to do that?” I don’t expect him to be able to answer, so when he nods, a bit of shock whips through me.
His eyes enlarge. “I didn’t think I was going to be able to tell you that.”
“Maybe you should try to tell me some more,” I suggest. “Maybe something’s happening that’s making it so you can tell me stuff now.”
“I….” He shakes his head in discouragement. “No, I don’t think so.” He absentmindedly combs a strand of my hair out my face. “Altho
ugh, the curse must be weakening since certain things keep slipping out.”
“That’s good, right? I mean, it’s got to mean that we can break it completely?”
“I would say yes, but….” His face shadows with pain. “I’ve known the queen for decades now and there’s no way she’s going to just let this curse break without a fight. Not if she gets something out of it.”
“Which she does,” I mumble unintentionally.
When I realize my mistake, I want to slap my hand over my mouth, but that will only make me appear more suspicious.
“What do you mean by that?” he asks. When my lips remain sealed and my gaze on my lap, he fixes his finger under my chin and forces me to look at him. “Sweetheart, you need to tell me everything you know. It might be able to help me figure out what’s going on—why the curse is suddenly changing when we’ve been stuck on repeat for so long.”
I hesitate. Can I do it? Can I trust him? I’m not sure. I’m never sure about anything. But at this point, what choice do I have, other than to keep walking through all of this and just hoping that my next memory will reveal more of the truth. I’m starting to painfully realize that. That I don’t have any choice but to trust Rhyland and Kingsley, like my mom told me to, or just hope that I can figure everything out on my own. Considering I’ve been stuck in this curse for a very, very long time and as far as I know have never trusted anyone to help me, I’m wondering if it’s time. Time to try something different.
“She called me an abomination,” I mumble. “The fey queen, I mean. She called me it right before the curse wiped out my memories.”
His brows dip. “Do you remember her exact words?”
“ ‘Because the more you suffer, the more my powers grow, my little moonlight abomination.’ ” I hold my breath, waiting for him to… Well, I’m not sure. But it’s going to be bad. After all, nothing about being a moonlight abomination can be good, right?
“Moonlight abomination,” he finally mumbles. “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“But you’ve heard of abominations before,” I say quietly. “And that’s not a good thing. And if what the queen said has some truth to it—about my suffering giving her power—it means she’s gained a lot of power.”
“I don’t want you to worry.” His palm molds around my cheek, his gaze boring into mine. “No one’s going to let anything happen to you.”
“I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about everyone else out there who doesn’t have a weird shimmer blob to hide in. I’m worried about the people in Mystic Willow Bay. About Anders and Effie. About my parents. About your parents.” My tone trembles as my eyes burn with tears. “We don’t even know where they are.”
His thumb skims my cheekbone. “I know.”
“And Nadine is evil. Or well, more evil than anyone realizes.” I flop down on the bed and drape my arm across my forehead. “My head feels spinny.”
“Spinny… You and your words.” He slants over me, resting his elbow beside my head and using his free hand to direct my arm away from my forehead. “I know you’re freaking out and I know it’s got to be pretty damn frustrating knowing stuff yet not knowing everything. And I know I can’t tell you much—I wish I could—but I promise you that this time around we’re going to get through this. We’re going to break the curse and free ourselves from the queen’s grasp—we’re going to free all of us”
“That seems like an awfully big promise,” I grumble with a sigh.
“And it’s a promise I intend to keep.” He leans closer, the chill of his body seeping into me. “I may have had little control in the past, but this time is different. We’ve never been able to flee from the queen before. And I’m going to latch onto that leeway and get us out of this mess.”
“But how are you supposed to when you don’t even know what this mess is?” I question. “Well, unless you knew I’m an abomination and that the queen has been gaining power over my suffering.”
“No matter what you are, you’re not an abomination,” he states firmly. “And as for the queen gaining power from the curse, we already sort of assumed that. We just weren’t exactly sure how.”
“We still aren’t exactly sure how. You guys assumed it had something to do with the Created, but you weren’t positive.”
“I still think it does have something to do with that.”
“But it also has something to do with me.” I chew on my bottom lip as I mentally go over everything I’ve learned from my memories. “You know, it doesn’t make sense why the fey queen was even spying on us to begin with. Like that day in the forest, right after Nadine and you were chosen as king and queen. Why was she even there? And why did she show up at the castle the night of the crowning ceremony? And how did she know exactly how to make us all turn on each other? She had to be watching us for a while and learning our weaknesses. But again, why? Why was a fey queen interested in what a bunch of teenage vampires were doing?”
“Kingsley and I figured out a while ago that she’d been watching us for a while. We just never knew why. Maybe if we can figure out why she referred to you as an abomination, we can learn more about the true purpose of the curse—because we still don’t know that. I mean, in the beginning, I thought it was for my benefit but…” He sighs, brushing his thumb along my cheek. “I’m thinking that maybe we can ask the witch doctor to look into what you are. That is, if you’re okay with that.”
I nod, even though I’m not. But it’s not about what I want anymore. It never really has been, I guess. Everything about my life has been planned and controlled, maybe even from my first life, depending on how long the queen was watching me.
“There is one more thing… I’ve already sort of talked to Kingsley this and he didn’t seem to know the answer. Or he just couldn’t tell me—maybe a bit if both. But I’m hoping maybe you can tell me about it. Maybe fight past the curse or something… It’s about that day in the cafeteria, when we first sort of became friends…”
The most genuine smile illuminates across his face. “You remember that day?” he asks and I nod. He sketches his fingertip along my jawline. “I’m so glad.”
“Why?” My eyelashes flutter against his touch, despite my internal protest. “Is it important?”
He nods. “It was one of the most genuine times in our lives. You should hold onto that. What we really were once. What we should’ve been.” Sadness overtakes his happiness and it makes my cold heart ache in the strangest way.
“I’ll try to remember that,” I promise him. “But that’s not the reason I mentioned the memory. It’s what was said that day that I want to know more about.”
“I know what you’re referring to and… We… We… Don’t really know what that was…” He curses in frustration.
“Did you know I saw a shadowy figure standing in the alcove right after Nadine threatened us?” I ask and when his brows rise to his hairline, I have my answer. “It had glowing eyes and I could sense that it was watching me. But it was gone before I even took my next blink.”
“But you never said anything about it.” His expression is a mask of confusion.
“I probably thought I was just seeing things. I was so young and edgy all the time. I think I may have thought either I didn’t really see it or if I said anything, you guys would make fun of me.”
His confusion morphs into sincerity. “We never would’ve made fun of you back then. If we could, we would’ve never made fun of you ever.” The pad of his thumb traces along my lip. “You meant, and still do, mean the worlds to me.” His features harden ever so slightly. “And my brother.”
The urge to tell him that he once meant the worlds to me bites at my tongue. I’m not even sure where the compulsion is stemming from and part of me is having a silent battle not to give in to it.
But then my lips part. “You guys meant—”
The tree abruptly jolts, launching us sideways. Luckily, we’re on the bed so when we roll to a stop, the landing is soft. However, Rhyland ends
up lying on top of me, our legs a tangled mess, our chest pressed together, and my lips end up smashed against the side of his neck, right beside his pulse.
My mouth salivates as I breathe in the scent of him, of the blood underneath his skin, and my fangs twitch to be released.
Get control over yourself, Raven. You’ve been fine without his blood before. The only reason you ever tasted it was to see if it broke the curse and it didn’t.
“You can if you want to,” Rhyland groans out, his lips moving against my forehead, his fingers tangling through my hair.
“I’m fine,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut.
He breathes in and out, not moving back, as if silently begging me to do it, which might be exactly what he’s doing. But that doesn’t mean I’m just going to get into the habit of drinking from his vein.
As I start to lean back, though, my hunger takes over and I slant forward, sinking my veins into his neck.
Rhyland moans, tugging on the roots of my hair. “Gods, that feels so good.”
I suck harder, basking in the taste of his blood as it spills down my throat, feeding my hunger, feeding my power. Powerful. I can feel it, a surge of energy flickering deep within in. And the more I drink, the more the energy ignites until a fire of desire bursts through me.
Before I can even process what I’m doing, I shove Rhyland back onto the bed, kind of roughly. Then I sit up and climb on top of him, straddling his waist. Blood is dripping from his neck and his eyes are wide in surprise.
“I’m sorry… That was probably too rough, right?” Blood trickles from my lips.
A soft laugh escapes him then he cups the back of my head and guides my mouth toward his. “Not even close.”