Scattered Ashes (Shattered Promises 4)

She chews on her bottom lip, searching my eyes. "So you're not leaving me again?"

I was planning on it, but with Aislin and Laylen gone, I can't just abandon her. "We need to find Aislin and Laylen."

"Why did you promise that witch you'd bring her to Aislin, anyway?"

"Because I needed a witch to travel around, so I made a bargain with her. I told her I'd bring her to Aislin if she took me where I needed to go."

"A bargain where you had to die if you didn't follow though? Because that was pretty stupid."

"Yeah, it was, but I wasn't planning on breaking the bargain. At least, not after she made me promise with my life." My brows furrow. "But apparently I can't die."

"According to Faerie boy, we're a packaged deal. If one goes, the other goes, too." Her gaze drops to my mouth, and then she mashes her lips together.

I can feel the desire flowing off her, and God, I can feel it in myself, too.

Unable to stop myself, I lean in. Just one kiss, I tell myself. That's it.

Our lips brush. Sparks burst. I damn near lose it. Then something crashes against the front door so hard the entire house rocks, and I'm on my feet in a matter of seconds, pulling Gemma with me.

"We need to go," I say. "Too many people know you're here."

"What about Laylen?" she asks in a panic. "And Aislin and Aleesa?"

"We'll find them, but we need to get you out of here first." I pull her toward the back door, but she digs her heels into the floor, refusing to budge.

Back in the day, she used to be a lot weaker, but now that she's a Keeper, she's a hell of a lot stronger. And I'd be fucking lying if I denied it kind of turns me on.

"We need to find them now," she demands, holding my gaze steadily. "Before they harm someone. You know as well as I do that neither of them can handle the guilt of hurting someone." Sadness consumes her face. "Laylen's already going to have a hard time forgiving himself for what he did to me."

"Good," I say as my anger simmers. "He should."

"Alex, he didn't know what he was doing. He couldn't help himself. I saw it in his eyes."

"I get it. Trust me, I feel the same way every time I look at you." The words slip out of my mouth, but I don't even try taking them back. "But I also can't control my anger when it comes to someone hurting you. Laylen hurt you, and yeah, I'm pretty fucking pissed off about it."

She points a finger at me. "You won't hurt him. Promise me you won't."

"I'll try." It's the best I can do. "Now, come on."

She still doesn't budge. "We need to find them, Alex. Seriously. We can't wait."

"I know we do, but it's going to take some time. And I don't even know what the hell we're going to do when we find them. Right now, the only person who can remove the mark is Aislin, and if she's one of them, I don't think she's going to be very willing to perform the spell on herself."

"We'll figure something out," she says determinedly. "And we need to stay here until we do. My mom and Nicholas are going to be looking for me here."

"Gemma," I say, struggling to be patient. "They'll have to find us. We can't stay here, not after that witch now knows where we are. For all we know, she could be tracking my father down right now and making a bargain with him. Besides, he could already know where we are if he's got Aislin or Laylen on his side."

She reluctantly surrenders. "But we have to find a way to save them before they end up doing something they'll regret."

They probably already have, but I don't share that with her, not wanting to worry her even more. She already looks completely tired and fragile, completely breakable.

After a little bit of deliberating, we head outside into the fires and the moonlight.

"Is this far enough away for you?" I ask as we approach the end of the frost bitten driveway.

"I think so." She closes her eyes. "Where should I take us?"

"Somewhere safe." I wrap one arm around her waist and pull her close to me.

She cracks an eyelid to look at me. "You don't want to say where?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm going to let you decide." Since I seem to be an idiot when it comes to making good decisions. If I wasn't, then I wouldn't be standing here, holding her in such a forbidden way.

Nervously nodding, she leans into me while snow flurries fall around us, and then she takes us away.

GEMMA

I don't know what the hell went wrong. Maybe seeing Alex threw me off my game, or maybe it's what he said about going someplace safe. Whatever it was, somehow I end up thinking of my dad living in his own mind, all alone, and when I open my eyes, we're there.

Alex glances around, his forehead creasing. "Where are we?"

I pull a "whoops" face. "Um, yeah, so I think I accidently took us into my dad's mind."

Alex blinks down at me, his arm still lingering on my waist, making me feel safe. "You took us into your dad's mind?"

I nod, glancing around the area, which has changed since my last visit. The ocean still remains in the distance, but the beach is rockier and the air chiller, as if winter is approaching. The sky is cloudy and grumbles with thunder. Ocean waves crash into the shore, bringing the storm in.

"Yep, I'm pretty sure that's where we are." I look up at him. "It's kind of weird, right? I mean, it's the first time you're going to meet my dad, and we're inside his head."

Alex snorts a laugh. "You're cute."

"What'd I say?" I ask, lost.

He shrugs, tracing his finger down the brim of my nose. "It's nothing. You're just cute. That's all."

Feeling a little squirmy and exposed, I change the subject. "I wonder where he is." I start up the beach as thunder booms above and waves roll over our shoes.

Alex's gaze remains trained on the ocean as he follows right behind me. "So out of all the places to go that could be safe, this is the first place you thought of?"

I shrug. "I don't do very well under pressure, and FYI, you usually don't give me a choice of where we're going, so it threw me off."

"Sorry." He cups my cheek, staring at me with the strangest look on his face. Ever since he showed up at the house, he's been looking at me more intensely than when he left, as if he's fighting his emotions a little more, which makes me feel both afraid and excited.

Clearing his throat, he pulls his hand away. "So where would he be?"

"My dad?" I shrug. "I'm not sure. He usually just shows up."

The corners of his mouth quirk. "Well, we're in his head, so he's got to be around."

I roll my eyes, but a soft laugh eases from my lips, startling us both since I barely laugh. Shaking the weird feeling of elation off, I hike farther down the beach, and he moves with me.

"Where did you go?" I ask, kicking at the sand. "When you left?"

"To figure stuff out." He stares up at the sky.

"But you're staying now, right? You won't leave me again." I sound so needy, but I don't care. Now that he's here, the thought of leaving again is brutally painful, especially with the secret I'm carrying inside me. I know I need to tell him, but I have no idea what to say or how he'll take the news.

"I don't know . . ." He shuts his eyes, inhaling deeply. " I think I should." He opens his eyes. "But I don't want to."

I carry his gaze, my heart beating deafeningly inside my chest. "Then don't."

We stare each other down, our hearts pounding faster, electricity radiating more powerfully than the lightning. Time drifts away, and I start to feel so tired.

He breaks the trance, stepping back then shucking off his jacket. He slips it on me then zips it up. "Your dad might get really worried with all the blood on your neck and shirt."

I tuck my hands into the sleeves and pull the fabric over my nose, breathing in the scent of his cologne. "Did you find out anything helpful why you were gone?" I ask, more to distract my thoughts from his scent, from him.

We head farther down the beach. "Not much. What about you? Did you find out anything that might help our situation?"

/>   "Maybe," I say, and he stares at me in astonishment. "What do you know about the Afterlife?"

He slams to an abrupt stop. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because that's where my mom said I had to go to stop us from dying." The wind gusts through my hair. "She said that I need to visit a woman named Helena."

He promptly shakes his head. "There's no way you're going there. It's the Afterlife, as in the place where lost souls go after they pass from an unnecessary death, which means you'd have to die that way to go there."

"But if it can fix everything, then it's worth it, right?"

His features harden as he glowers at me. "So you're okay with dying? And me, too, since we're supposed to be a package deal?"

I set my hands on his shoulders and look him dead in the eye. "You're not going to die. You're going to bring me back. That's how my mom said it happens."

"No." His shoulders shake under my touch as he inches his face closer to mine. "I'll die and go there if one of us needs to go."

"Alex, she said it has to be me." My voice is even and firm and so is my heart rate. The other heartbeat, though, races inside me, pouring fear through my veins.

"I don't give a shit what your mom said. I'm not letting you . . ." He trails off, a pucker forming at his brow. "What is that?"

I glance from left to right. "What's what?"

"That noise . . . It sounds like it's coming from you . . ." He leans back, studying me. " I swear I can hear your heart beating right now. It's beating really fast. Are you okay?" He lines his palm against my chest, and his perplexity increases. "The sound . . . It doesn't match your heart."

I press my hand to my stomach. I have no clue how the hell he can hear it other than maybe it's the connection of the star. Perhaps it's linked the three of us. I struggle to stay composed, to hide my secret. Now is definitely not the right time to tell him.

But then he looks down and notices where my hand is. Just like with Aislin, I see it click in his eyes the moment he figures out what's going on.

"Holy shit," he breathes, his eyes as round as golf balls as he steps back.

"It's not what you think," I sputter. "It's . . . I . . . Fuck . . ." I stumble over my words until frustration gets the best of me, and hot tears slip from my eyes.

The tears seem to calm him down a little, and his expression softens as he steps back toward me. "Gemma, it's okay. We'll--"

"Gemma, what are you doing here?"

Alex and I blink, and then, tearing my eyes off him, I turn to my dad.

He doesn't look happy to see me. His violet eyes are unwelcoming as he stands there, glaring at me, his silver robe flapping with the breeze.

"You need to go, now!" he shouts, panic flashing in his eyes.

I trip back, slamming into Alex. "Dad, what's--"

Ice crackles as the ocean rapidly glazes over, the waves frozen in place. Figures appear around us, stirring up a cloud of sand. When the sand settles, my jaw hits the ground.

Death Walkers. And they're everywhere.

ALEX

No one can make me feels as angry, as happy, as terrified as Gemma can. As she stands there, trying to explain to me that she's going to die so she can go to the Afterlife, I want to tie her up to my bed and never let her go. Her casual attitude toward her own life drives me so insane. I wish she could see how important she is, and not just because of the star.

I remember when I saw her at her school the day I went to break the spell Sophia put on her. Gemma looked so innocent, confused, and absolutely beautiful. When I met her again, I was such an ass to her, yet she forgave me. Well, eventually . . . kind of, anyway. I'm still a little confused over how she feels about me.

Sometimes I want her to hate me. It would make things easier if she refused to let me touch her and kiss her all the time, if one of us had control.

I start telling her there's no fucking way I'll ever let her go Afterlife when I hear something odd. Initially, I think it's a drum, but then I realize the noise is coming from Gemma. It sounds like another heartbeat, and when she places a hand on her stomach, I just about pass out.

She never actually says the words, yet somehow I know.

She's pregnant with my child.

Before I can even wrap my head around that fact, her dad shows up out of nowhere, screaming at her like lunatic. Then comes the biggest pain in my ass--the Death Walkers.

With one swift movement, I slide my hand into Gemma's and sprint down the beach, running faster than I ever have. It's not just about saving her anymore. It's about saving both of them.

As I'm searching for a somewhere to hide her, she slips on the ice and lands on her back, cracking her head against the ice.

Panic strangles me, worried she hurt herself, and I end up tripping over her, which is strange. I never fall, but then again, my head's usually not so crammed in a cluster-fuck of emotions.

I start to land on top of her, but my arms shoot out to catch my weight.

She blinks over at the ice and then up at me.

"Are you okay?" I whisper, examining her face and head for any visible injuries.

She bobs her head up and down. "I think so."

"What about . . . ?" I swallow hard as I set a hand on her stomach.

Her breath falters. "I think so. I mean, I can still hear its heart beating."

"Yeah, me, too."

While we stare at each other, unsaid words hanging in the air, I'm terrified. I've never imagined myself as a father, mostly because I never had time. There's a small part of me that worries I'll suck at it, that somehow, I'll end up like my father, and I never, ever want that to happen.

"Hold on," Gemma whispers, looping her arms around my neck. "I'm going to get us out of here."

Electricity pours through our bodies and melts the ice below us. She shuts her eyes and whispers something under her breath, holding onto to me. She looks so beautiful, and all I can think is take me now, because it really seems like the perfect time to die.

Then there's a flash of bright light, and the next thing I know, we're tumbling into nothingness.

After what feels like an eternity, we finally stop falling. I push back and glance around at where she took us, and shock instantly sets in.

We're in the middle of the snowy mountains, surrounded by trees, in the exact spot the piece of the star crashed.

I never wanted to see this place again. It reminds me of everything bad that's happened, everything we still need to fix.

"Okay, we really need to get you a list of safe places." I say, pushing off her.

"I'm sorry," she says as I offer her my hand and lift her to her feet. "But it's kind of a good place to live." She brushes dirt off the back of her jeans. "I mean, who the hell would think of looking for us here? I'm betting no one."

"Yeah, maybe, but we're going to end up freezing to death." I dust some snow out of her hair, and she shivers from my touch. "And I thought you hated the snow."

"I'm getting used to it, but if you're cold . . ." She steps back and reaches for the zipper of my jacket to take it off.

I capture her hand in mine, stopping her. "I'm fine, Gemma. I'm more worried about you and . . ." I trail off, looking down at her stomach while yanking my fingers through her hair.

God, I wish I could say all the right things, but I don't even know what the right thing is for this kind of moment.

She turns away to stare at the tress with her arms wrapped around herself. "I'm still not one hundred percent sure I am. I mean, I can hear the heartbeat and everything, which is super weird and, from what I read online, totally not normal. And Nicholas somehow knew without me telling him." She kicks the tip of her sneaker against the snow. "But I still don't have any real proof other than I can feel something growing inside me. Aislin even had me take this little test thing, and the results are all messed up. I don't know why. If the test was a dud or if it's me or"--She looks down at her stomach--"it."

"It?" I have no idea why that's what I say othe

r than everything else seems really complicated.

She lifts her shoulders. "I don't know what it is, so saying 'it' for now. I mean, for all we know, it might not even be human."

"I'm sure it's as human as you and me," I say, trying to be reassuring and calm when really I'm freaking the fuck out.

She's pregnant.

Holy shit.

"That's what I'm worried about." Her shoulders start to shake, and I realize she's crying.

I suddenly don't give a shit about anything except making her feel better, so I wrap my arms around her and pull her against my chest. "It's going to be okay."

She grips at my shirt, her tears soaking through the fabric. "You don't know that for sure."

"Yes, I do." I smooth my hand up and down her back. "You want to know how?"

She nods her head, sniffling.

"Because I'm not going to let anything happen to you." I pause, tightening my hold on her. "To the both of you."

She nods again, which surprises me. Usually, she's so stubborn. I let her cry in my arms, holding her tightly, even when I start to feel the energy draining from my body. It feels like I'm breaking into pieces, and all of those pieces belong to her. I don't know how to fix it, how to get the all the pieces back, and I kind of don't want to.

Finally, she pulls away, gasping for air.

After she composes herself, she asks, "Do you think . . . ? Do you think he'll be okay?"

I look at her stomach and find myself smiling for some insane reason. "I thought it was an it. Now it's a he?"

She covers her belly with her arm. "No, not that . . . I was talking about my dad."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine."

A beat or two goes by where she simply stares at me, as if trying to read my thoughts. Horrified she might somehow be able to, I keep talking.

"He's in his own head," I explain, "which means his real body is somewhere else, so I think he's safe." I stare down at the snow. "We need a plan, though. I don't think it's a good idea to just keep going to random places."

"I have two great plans." She leans back against a tree, yawning. "We can either go find Laylen, Aislin, and Aleesa and try to convince Aislin to get the mark off herself. Or we can go track down my mom, find out how the hell I get to the Afterlife, and end all of this." She pauses, assessing me closely. "Unless you know how to get there."

"Why would I know how to get there?" I lie casually. There is no way I am going to offer up information that would get her and the baby killed.