I didn’t pull away, only stared at my hand, which rested atop his on the bed. The skin on my ring finger was lighter from wearing my engagement ring for five years, and now it lay on my nightstand abandoned. And how could I ever wear it again? How could I ever face my fiancé again after everything I had done? Everything I still wanted to do.
Deep down I knew I didn’t want to marry Danilo anymore, but it was my duty, even now. I ran my fingertips over Remo’s hand, and he woke with a current of tension radiating through his body. I assumed he wasn’t a man used to sharing a bed with someone.
He exhaled and relaxed but didn’t say anything. I turned his hand over until his palm was up then traced the burn scars there, wondering how they’d come to be. My touch followed the scars up to his wrists, where crisscross scars fought for dominance with his burn marks. Remo’s breathing changed, became cautious, dangerous.
“Will you ever tell me how you got those?”
He bit the nape of my neck. “Why should I?”
Yes, why should he spill his guts to me? I turned around in his hold. His expression was forbidding, but his eyes held a hint of something even darker. “You’re right,” I whispered, holding his gaze. “I’m only your captive. The queen in your game of chess. Something meaningless, easy to forget the moment you give me back.” Even as I spoke the words, I couldn’t imagine Remo really letting me go, not with the way he looked at me, and I wasn’t sure if the realization terrified or relieved me. Because how could I return to the Outfit?
“Oh, Angel, forgetting you will be impossible.”
And I smiled. God help me, I smiled.
Remo shook his head slowly. “This is madness.”
“It is.” It was and worse … betrayal. Dad. Mom. Sofia. Sam. Guilt gripped me in its choking hold. I swallowed. “My family …” I didn’t say more.
Remo’s face hardened and he untangled himself from me and stood. My eyes took him in, the harshness of his expression, those cruel eyes, the scars and muscles.
Remo was the enemy. He was trying to destroy the people I loved by using me as his weapon. I couldn’t forget that. He put on his clothes and gun holster. Then he nodded grimly. “That’s the look you’re supposed to give me, Angel. Hold on to your hatred if you can.”
“Can you?”
He didn’t say anything, only smiled darkly. He turned around and left. The fallen angel tattooed to his back seemed to mock me because every day I felt a bit more like an angel falling.
Kiara picked me up around lunchtime. I could tell from the way she was looking at me that she knew I’d slept with Remo. Nino had probably told her, and Remo had told him and probably everyone else. I hadn’t dared to ask him if the sheets had arrived yet. The mere idea that my family and fiancé saw them drove bile up my throat.
We settled on the sofa. She’d ordered vegetarian Sushi, which was set up on the table in front of us. I didn’t see Nino anywhere, but I knew he was close and would storm in at the slightest sound of distress from Kiara.
We ate in silence for a while, but eventually Kiara couldn’t contain her concern anymore. She touched my shoulder, her eyes flitting to the bite marks on my throat. “Are you okay?”
I set down the sticks and met her gaze. “I’m a captive in these walls, and I betrayed my family. I let Remo dishonor me. I’m ruined. So what do you think?”
She pursed her lips. “You’re only ruined if you allow others to make you feel that way.”
“You don’t understand.” I snapped my lips shut, shame washing over me because everyone knew the stories about her. “I’m sorry.”
Kiara shook her head, a flicker of pain in her eyes but she straightened her shoulders with a smile. “I felt ruined for years … until I didn’t anymore, and then I was free.”
“If my family and fiancé find out Remo didn’t force me, they won’t forgive me.”
“Do you want to return to your fiancé?”
“Do you think I want to stay with Remo?” I muttered. “He kidnapped me. He keeps me locked in a room. He is my enemy. Sex won’t change that.”
Kiara regarded me closely. “Maybe there’s a chance for peace between the Outfit and the Camorra. You could be that chance. Something good can be born from an act of brutality.”
“But there won’t be. My dad, my uncle, my fiancé, my brother won’t ever agree to any kind of peace. They are proud men, Kiara. You know how Made Men are. Remo took me from them, stole my … stole my innocence.”