“That’s not your fault. None of it is your fault. When are you going to get that through your thick head?”
“I knew what he was doing to her.”
“You found out too late. We all did.”
“I should have known earlier. I should have known when he stopped with me.” My father only picked on those he could overpower. He never took a chance he might lose. And when I got bigger than him, he left me alone.
“Stop blaming yourself. She didn’t blame you.”
“I went to the Lambertini farm. He said some men were out there. Men who’d had business with our father. I’m guessing Moriarty.”
“Call the police. Let them deal with it, Raphael.”
“I’m going to make an example.”
“Like you are with Sofia? Fuck with Raphael Amado and pay? Is that the message you want to send?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“Yes, you do. You can choose to leave the past in the past. Let the police handle this.”
“I’m a murderer.”
“Self-defense. Our father would have killed you. That was obvious to everyone, including the judge.”
“Still, I spent six years—”
“And the ruling was overturned.” Damon emptied his glass. “I guess you have to figure out what you want, Raphael. Figure out who you are. Whether you want to continue the life our father led or bury it. Do good instead. You have the land. You can replant, make an honest living.”
I snorted at the mention of honest.
“It would make mom proud,” he added. “And it would be the ultimate revenge. Take back what our father stole.”
“Death is final, brother.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
I drained my glass and studied him. I guess I never thought of my brother mourning, but he was. We all were, Zachariah too. Still. Six fucking years later. “I have one question for you.” He waited for me to ask it. “Why aren’t you telling me to let Sofia go?”
He studied me back, his eyes narrowing a little, and for the first time in a long time, I glimpsed the Amado blood running in his veins.
“Because as wrong as it is what you’re doing, I think she’s good for you.”
I laughed outright at that. “What the hell does that make you, brother, if not an accomplice?”
He stood and came to me, smiling. “I’m your brother first,” he said. “I want you to be happy. Finally.”
Chapter Nine
Sofia
It wasn’t hard to avoid Raphael after the incident at the pool. He seemed to be avoiding me too. He seemed to have always eaten before I did, and I kept to my room when I didn’t have to go downstairs to take care of Charlie. I didn’t know where Raphael was most of the time, and I didn’t want to care. But I did.
He had two sides to him, and he flipped with deadly precision on a dime. His demons were so dark and so deep that when they reared their heads, when they overtook him, he was the scariest beast of all. A man filled with hate and vengeance. But wasn’t it those very things that had broken him?
But that fissure, it only made him more dangerous because that hurt, it could swallow me up too. It could destroy me like it was him.
I could still feel him on my lips, his mouth on mine, his tongue inside my own when I’d opened to him. Like some fool, I’d yielded and so fucking easily. He hadn’t even had to make me. If he made me, it would be easier. If he made me, I could hate him. I wouldn’t have to hate myself then because he was right. I did want him.
Two days after my first appointment, the seamstress returned for another fitting, and soon my dress was ready. I let it hang in my bedroom hidden inside the garment bag. I didn’t want to think about it.
On the third night, once again, I took my dinner with Charlie in the kitchen. I was half afraid of Raphael walking in at any minute, dreading it, but also fed up with being on my own, ready to face him. Ready to get this over with.
But the house was still quiet apart from the light rain tapping against the windows. It felt strange to be alone in such a huge, old place. Charlie devoured his food and curled up at my feet to sleep again. I kind of envied his life.
I dumped more than half my plate in the trash can and rinsed my dish, then left Charlie to sleep while I went to look around the house, taking care to leave the kitchen door propped open for him.
The living and dining rooms had been freshly dusted and vacuumed. I bypassed them, knowing Raphael’s study was at the end of the hall. I wasn’t sure what I’d do, not really. Not until I stood directly outside his door. Guilt made me glance over my shoulder before I reached for the doorknob and turned it. I don’t know if I felt relieved or disappointed to find it locked.