When the guard manning the pay booth recognizes Maxime, he salutes and lifts the boom. I sag in my seat, my body running hot and cold with shock and relief. We pull into the traffic, smoothly slipping into the flow.
“Your car,” I say. “They have cameras in the parking garage.”
“I know the hotel owner.” His brow is furrowed in concentration as he focuses on the road. “He’ll erase the tapes.”
The traffic is heavy. I don’t speak again until we’re on a quieter road. “What happened back there?”
He glances at me. “The day Izabella came to my office she tipped me off about Leclerc. He was blackmailing Alexis.”
“With what?”
His jaw bunches. “It was Alexis who started the fire.”
I gape at him. “You mean…?”
“Yes.” He takes a sharp turn, making my body press against the door.
“Maxime.”
“I only found out this morning.”
“Is that what he was doing in your hotel room?”
“I threatened him so he’d give me the evidence. I guess he thought he’d rather blow me up.”
I still can’t believe it. “How did you know?”
“I didn’t. It was a guess. I know how these people operate. I know how they think.”
“He would’ve let me open the box.”
“Revenge for how I punished him.”
I grip the door handle when he takes another turn. “What did you do to him?”
He clenches the wheel. “Doesn’t matter.”
The buildings change to more modern ones. “What now?”
“I’m going to deal with them.”
My stomach tightens. “Maxime.”
“I can’t let this go, Zoe.”
“The police—”
He takes the exit onto the highway. “You know I can’t go to the police.” He glances at me again. “Are you all right?”
I shake my head.
He cups my hand. “You shouldn’t have been there.”
“I should’ve told you I was coming.”
“No.” Smiling, he puts my hand on his thigh to change gears. “I appreciate the gesture. Just don’t surprise me again. I’m not good with those.”
The hard muscles of his thigh bunch under my palm when he steps on the clutch. “What if he comes after you?”
“That’s why I have to go after him first.”
A sickening thought hits me. “You weren’t going to let him leave your room alive, were you?” I remove my hand from his leg. “Is that why he came armed with that box? He knew he needed some kind of weapon? If I hadn’t been there—”
“You think too much.”
I’m not going to get anything out of him. Why do I even try? I look at the fields on the side of the road. “Where are we going?”
“Home.” When I say nothing, he continues, “I’ll make up for Paris.”
“I don’t care about Paris.” I care about our safety and our lives.
“What happened this morning isn’t going to happen again.”
“Please.” I close my eyes and lay back my head. “Don’t make promises.”
“Leclerc caught me off guard. I didn’t think he had it in him.”
“You don’t have to make excuses. You saved my life.”
“Because you obeyed me.” The pause that follows is strained. “Zoe, if you ever put yourself in danger again, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
I open my eyes. “I couldn’t know.” My voice is harsh. “Finding two killers in the weekend getaway room your husband organized isn’t exactly the norm.”
His eyes tighten in the corners. “I would’ve kept him far away from you if you were coming with me.”
“I know.”
“Say it.”
From the corner of my eye, I see him tensing. “Say what?”
“You don’t want to be married to a man like me.”
“Who does?” I ask under my breath.
“Leclerc was a loose end. That life is over.”
I study his profile. “What about that loose end? Are you going to just let it dangle?”
He purses his lips.
In other words, he’s going to kill another man. “What about your brother?” I know the answer, but I want him to say it. I need the confirmation.
Still, he says nothing.
Right. Two murders.
“I’m not letting you go, Zoe.”
Crossing my arms, I lean closer to the door. “Did I ask you to?”
“I know you. I know what you’re thinking.” His nostrils flare. “It’s not happening, so you can put it out of your pretty little head.”
I turn sideways to face him. “Do you even feel guilty?”
“For taking care of the people who tried to burn me alive?” He utters a laugh. “No, I don’t.”
I study him in silence. He’s dangerous, this husband of mine. He left that life behind for me, to be able to marry me, but it’ll always be in his blood. He’ll never hesitate to use violence to keep us safe and take lives to protect me. I wasn’t a big enough fool to believe that part of his life was behind us. I knew what he was dragging me into when he brought me back from Johannesburg. I didn’t want a life like this. He never gave me a choice.
Whatever the case, this is who he is. Under the fashionable clothes and the smooth businessman will always lurk a mafia boss. He’s not going to change. I’m stuck with him in this marriage. I know I can live with him. I’ve done it before. I’m doing it now. It’s not that I can’t accept who he is. It’s that I can’t deal with never being loved. I long for it with all my soul. I want to know what it feels like. I know the bitter side of love. I know how it hurts when it’s one-sided. I want to know what it’s like to be on the receiving end. I want the hurt to end, and the only way to stop making it hurt is to stop wanting what I can’t have.