His eyes shifted to caution, but the smile remained plastered on his face
“Does Cassio know?” I murmured.
His smile became less honest. “Know what?”
“That you like men.”
For an instant, Elia’s expression slipped before he could control it again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh yeah?” I said. “I saw how you checked out that guy in the dog park. You were flirting with him like you’ve been pretending to flirt with me. I’m not blind. Maybe the men in our world don’t notice because they prefer to see what they want to see, but I don’t care if you like men or women. Love is love.”
Elia shook his head. “I didn’t check anyone out. You can’t go around saying something like that. You know what would happen to me if those rumors spread.”
“I have absolutely no intention of telling anyone. It’s your personal business,” I said. Officially, there weren’t any gay Made Men. It was ridiculous. Boys learned to hide it if they liked other boys or they got killed. That was the only reason why there weren’t any gay men in our circles. “But Cassio knows.”
I could practically see Elia’s thoughts racing as he tried to get me off track. “If he thought I was gay, he’d kill me. The mafia doesn’t tolerate fags.”
I smiled. The insult was a nice touch. It didn’t work. “No, unless you don’t make it public. And sometimes it comes in handy to have gay soldiers, especially if someone’s as jealous as Cassio seems to be.”
Elia didn’t say anything. I could see that he was completely thrown off. “This is—”
“Ridiculous? Yes, it is. Did Cassio ask you to come on to me to see if I would bite?”
Elia ran his hand through his hair. I’d backed him into a corner. It was obvious that neither he nor Cassio had expected me to catch onto them. This made me even more furious than the fact that they’d tried this trick at all.
“I’m your bodyguard. I’m meant to protect you. You should talk to Cassio if you think I’m doing a bad job.”
I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you should go to the staff room now. I really don’t feel like being lied to at the moment.”
Elia inclined his head and left. He’d call Cassio the second he was in the back room. I leaned back against the headrest, closing my eyes briefly, feeling drained. My shirt stuck to my sweaty back. A hot snout nudged my arm. I opened my eyes to find Loulou on the couch beside me. Was she trying to console me? I’d read that dogs could pick up on human emotions, but I hadn’t expected Loulou to act on it.
She probably wasn’t allowed on the sofa, but I didn’t care if Cassio would approve or not. I patted my lap and she curled up there.
Daniele put down his tablet and approached me. He climbed on the sofa and sat beside me. His little legs didn’t even reach the edge. I smiled at him. His eyes conveyed questions that he didn’t voice.
“I’m fine, just tired. Loulou is trying to console me because she can feel that I’m tired.”
Daniele nodded slowly. I stroked his head carefully, seeing if he’d pull back, but he didn’t. I felt the knots at his back. I’d seen how he struggled when Sybil or Cassio tried to comb his hair. From the way it felt, I doubted combing would work. “Loulou looks cute with her short hair, right?”
Daniele gave a nod.
“Will you let me cut your hair a bit? Not much, just a bit, so Loulou doesn’t feel alone with her short hair?”
An even smaller nod was his response. I gently put Loulou down on the sofa and went to get the scissors. When I returned, Loulou was curled up on the sofa and Daniele was sitting very close, but he wasn’t touching her even though I could see that he wanted to.
“Can you sit on my lap while I cut your hair?”
Nod.
I lifted Daniele and positioned him on my knee as I sat down. I stroked his head gently before I began to cut the hair at the back of his head. He didn’t move, only looked at Loulou. I shortened the hair on the sides too, only left the hair on top as it was. “You look really cool now.”
Daniele remained seated on my leg, and I kept stroking his little head.
“I hope you’ll talk to me one day. I’d love to hear your voice. You can talk to me about everything. I can keep secrets if you need me to. Okay?”
He looked over his shoulder, really looked me in the eye, and in that moment, he seemed so much older than almost three. “Your dad loves you.”
Daniele looked away and slid off my leg. He sank down on the floor with his tablet once more.