Left Behind

“Fine. Fine. Just stop yelling at me. I’ll drive you home after practice and then come back to the library.”

“Do you know how it looks when you hang out with them in public?” The way her lip twists up in a snarl makes her beautiful face turn ugly.

“Yeah. It looks like I have real friends, ones that aren’t even more plastic than their credit cards,” I shoot back, my voice laced with contempt I no longer try to hide.

Eyes wide, she has the audacity to look appalled. “My friends are not plastic!”

“I have to get to class.” I open the door leading inside from the now empty courtyard. Everyone’s already gone and I’m going to be late for English. I hold the door open and speak without turning back to face her, “You coming or not?”

Emily huffs, but stomps through the door. God forbid she be caught in the courtyard alone.

***

I sit in English class staring at Mr. Hartley, but I don’t hear a word he says. My head is so jumbled, wondering where Emily and I veered off course to wind up in such different places. For the last eight years, we’ve always been Zack and Em. I don’t think I ever really gave any thought to dating anyone else, everyone always just assumed Emily and I would wind up together, including me. But I’m not sure I can do it anymore. Some days, I barely recognize who she is; she’s changed so much.

I used to think her attitude was part of her insecurity, putting other people down made her feel better about herself. On the outside, everyone sees a beautiful girl, full of confidence, fearless. Only I know the truth. She was criticized for years.

When we were younger, Emily hated her mother’s fixation on social status. I remember one time, when we were ten or eleven, we rode our bikes to the park the day after a heavy rainstorm. The dirt under the swings had turned into thick, squishy mud. We spent hours chasing each other, tossing handfuls of mud until the only white visible was the whites of our eyes. We had the greatest day; neither of us could stop smiling. Until Mrs. Bennett caught sight of us. She freaked out, worried what people might think if they saw her daughter covered in dirt.

For years Emily complained about her mother’s obsessiveness over how things looked. How she looked. But then, a little at a time, she started to become the very thing she despised. The criticized became the critic. I know it’s not really her fault. So for a long time, I put up with Emily putting people down, with no one ever being good enough, because that’s all that she’s ever known. But I’m tired of making excuses about who she’s become to people…making excuses to myself.

“You okay?” Allie Parker breaks me out of deep thought. I look around, finding the class half empty. Guess I didn’t hear the bell ring.

“Uh…yeah. I’m just tired today. Coach has us doing extra practice time with the game coming up.” It’s not a lie. The whole team has been putting in extra time, although physically I’m not tired at all.

“I can cover your part of the project. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” Allie offers, a sweet smile on her face. She really is pretty. How have I never noticed it before? Dark hair, pale skin, green eyes with a hint of grey in them. The color is really unusual and I find myself staring to get a better look.

“You okay?” Allie tilts her head to the side, her smile fading to a look of concern. I force myself to snap out of it.

“Sorry. Yeah, I’m good. I’ll meet you at the library after practice.”

“Okay. But if you change your mind…we’ll cover it. No worries.”

***

Cheerleading practice ended before football practice today and, as usual, Emily is waiting for me outside of the locker room. I’m not sure what I expected after the scene in the courtyard a few hours ago, but she takes my hand and starts walking and talking as if nothing even happened.

“How long do you think you’ll be at the library tonight?” she says, as though the subject hadn’t sparked a heated argument only a short while ago.

“I have no idea, why?”

“My parents are going out to dinner with the Schumers tonight, they won’t be back until late. Thought maybe you could stop over and help me with a few things.” She turns and walks backward, still holding my hand. Her hips sway with each step. I don’t ask what she needs help with, yet she continues anyway. “Like taking off my bra…rubbing night cream into my skin…,” Emily trails off, allowing my brain to fill in the rest.

A year ago, I would have jumped at the chance, but my head just isn’t lined up with the rest of my body that responds to her invitation without thinking. “Let me see how late we get done.”

I drop her off and head back to the library. Being around her could give a guy whiplash. One minute she’s hot, the next she’s cold. Something about it seems more off than the usual mood swings I’ve come to accept as part of the charm that is Emily Bennett. Her highs are just higher these days and her lows are lower.

***

Allie and our two other English project partners are at the library working by the time I arrive. They’re so easy to be around, it’s a nice change to spend time with people who actually enjoy reading a book. Even if Emily had fun doing any of her homework, she’d never admit it for fear the cool police might catch her and kick her out of the elite club. The one she’s the president and poster child for these days.

“Thank god, you’re here. Allie and Cory want to do our project based on The Scarlet Letter. I need you on my side, dude.” Keller Daughtry looks desperate for some testosterone to join him in the fight.