Left Behind

“Hey.” I say, my voice directed at no one in particular. Allie turns. Her eyes go wide, but she attempts to come off casual.

“Hey. You’re here?” She smiles hesitantly.

“Actually, I was just on a run and saw your cars parked outside. I’m sort of too sweaty to sit down and join in, but thought I’d say hi. Pretty sure I’m coming to school tomorrow.” Not by choice, but I leave that part out.

“Sorry, I’m late,” an unfamiliar girl’s voice says from behind me. She walks to the table hurriedly, tossing her bag onto the table and pulls out a chair. Never looking up, she digs into her backpack, searching for something. Distracted, she doesn’t notice me standing here, but hell, I notice her.

As soon as I see her face, I know who she is…the girl from the track. I’m curious for her to look up so I can get a better view, but I’m also glad to have a minute to stare without being noticed. She’s beautiful, although not in the typical California girl sense. Fair skin, a thin, straight nose, full pink lips and dark blonde hair that makes her untanned skin stand out in contrast to the golden California girls all the more.

Sensing my staring, she looks up, our eyes connecting immediately. It takes her less than two heartbeats before recognition kicks in. Her mouth parts on a sharp inhale. It’s odd, I’ve avoided eye contact for months now, yet I’m glued to her, unable to tear away my gaze.

Not unlike our first meeting, neither of us say a word. Only this time, she turns it into a challenge. She arches one eyebrow, a small twitch at the corner of her mouth telling me she’s amused with our muted exchanges.

“Zack?” Allie says, confusion evident in her voice. I hear her words, but the fact that she’s calling my name, trying to get my attention, doesn’t really register with me. “Zack,” She calls a second time, the confusion in her voice changing to concern. It snaps me out of my fog and I turn, begrudgingly breaking our gaze.

“So do you think you’ll be able to come?” Allie eyes me up and down as if to make sure I’m okay.

I furrow my brow. She’s completely unaware that I haven’t heard a word she’s said the last few minutes.

“The Grind. Tomorrow night,” she repeats. “The library closes early and we’re going to work on the project .”

I nod. Feeling eyes on me, I turn my attention back to the girl from the track. I wasn’t wrong, she’s watching me…closely too. Allie catches my attention shift.

“This is Nikki,” she says, “she’s new at LBH. Mr. Davis assigned her to our group.”

I extend my hand, but say nothing, letting the smirk on my face do all the talking. Nikki puts her hand in mine and smiles back with a nod. We’ve got some sort of an unspoken challenge going, neither of us wanting to be the first to speak. It’s bizarre since I’ve never really met the girl, but I realize, as I shake her hand longer than would be considered normal, that I’ve smiled twice in the last few weeks. Both times around her.

***

The first half of the run back home, I contemplate the oddness of my behavior. Why had I suddenly become mute around a strange girl? Sure, she’s pretty, there’s no denying it, but there’s something more. I’m drawn to her. When I look into her eyes, see the smirk on her face, I don’t feel the anger that bogs me down around everyone else. Maybe it’s because she’s new…there’s no reminder of the life I want to escape so badly. I’m not sure, but a vision of her keeps popping back into my head with every step. And it makes me feel guilty. God I’m such an asshole. My girlfriend is gone barely six months and I’m already checking out replacements.

I run faster and faster, desperate to make the feelings go away. The ones that make me feel good cause me more pain than the ones that torment me. At least I deserve the torment, I don’t deserve to feel good.

Chapter 16

Nikki

“It’s about time!” Ashley calls at midnight, yelling so loud that I pull the cellphone away from my ear. It’s only been a few days, but since the first day we became friends we definitely haven’t gone this long without speaking.

“Sorry. I’ve been so busy.”

“Doing what? Or should I say whom?” she teases. I flop down on my bed and close my eyes, envisioning Ashley grinning and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. I bet she’s lying belly-down on her bed, legs flailing in the air as we talk.

I sigh and tell her about my first few days at LBH, filling her in on my classes and track tryouts, but that’s not what she’s interested in.

“Blah, blah, blah…trigonometry, running in circles…tell that crap to your Aunt Claire. I want to hear the juicy stuff.” Ashley says, only half joking.

“There’s not really any juicy stuff to tell.” I pause. “Except…”

“Tell me,” Ashley demands.

“There really isn’t anything to tell.”

“There’s something.” She knows me so well.

“Well, I met a cute guy,” I confess.

Ashley squeals in response. “Describe him. I’m going to close my eyes…give me the visual.”

I close mine too. A picture of Zack pops into my head without even having to take the time to think about him. That’s been happening a lot lately. “Well, he’s tall…maybe six feet.”

“Mmmmm…tall’s good. Go on.”

“Broad shouldered. Lean, but muscular.”