Fragile Longing

“Why not? I’ve been celebrating my own pity party excessively.” Even I was starting to grow tired of the Fina topic, but Anna was a real trooper and never complained.

We grinned at each other. Then Anna became serious again. “Just promise me that you don’t change your personality for Danilo or anyone. You are who you are, and that’s perfect.”

I hugged her, wishing I could have Anna’s strength, but maybe I’d just discover my own. “I won’t.”

The reaction to my new look ranged from open shock to exuberant praise. I lost count of the times I got told that I looked exactly like Serafina. It was always meant as a compliment, as if she was the ultimate goal, and while it was what I’d thought I wanted, it only annoyed me. Maybe I’d secretly hoped everyone would tell me how pretty I’d been before and boost my ego, instead they crushed it. But that was my own fault.

I hoped Danilo’s reaction would at least make this ordeal worthwhile. Maybe seeing me as a blonde would finally turn the switch that would make him fall in love with me. It was a farfetched hope, and I wasn’t even sure if it was the triumph I should be hoping for. Would I really be happy if he suddenly fawned over me because of my blonde hair?

I only had to wait two more months until I’d finally find out. Two more months before our official engagement party. My heart fluttered at the thought.I arrived in Minneapolis two days before the engagement party. I would have preferred to wait another year to make it official. At sixteen, Sofia was still too young, at least compared to me, but her parents insisted we make it public to prevent unpleasant rumors.

Emma, Mom, and Marco accompanied me. More than fifty guests would attend the engagement—close family and friends, as well as the other Underbosses and their families.

I met with Samuel and Pietro in their office. We had plenty to discuss, particularly regarding Samuel’s engagement to my sister, who still didn’t know about the deal I’d struck with the Miones or her future husband. But as always, business came first.

“I think we should convince Dante to risk another attack on Kansas City. Stefano Russo needs to follow his father’s footsteps into an early grave,” I said after we’d settled in the comfortable leather chairs in Pietro’s office, a glass of bourbon in hand.

Samuel nodded immediately, which didn’t come as a surprise. Pietro looked more thoughtful. Maybe it was his age or his more restrained disposition, but his reaction wasn’t unexpected. If Samuel were already Underboss, I’d have Minneapolis’s support in the matter.

“I’ve thought the same,” Samuel said. “We’ve been lying too low for too long.”

Pietro swirled his drink in the tumbler, his eyes narrowed in thought. “Dante’s following a new strategy. Our businesses have been thriving these last couple of years because we weren’t wasting money and energy in useless battles with the Famiglia and Camorra.”

“It’s not all about business,” I growled. “It’s also about honor and pride. Schmoozing with politicians is a nice trick on Dante’s part to make us untouchable, but we need to make a bloody statement now and then. Our men don’t understand the political strategies. They want blood and grand gestures. We have to keep them happy as well.”

“It would certainly please them, but I get the feeling it would please you even more,” Pietro said.

I took another swig from my drink, biting back a comment. Pietro was right. Since we had to let Remo go, I felt the need to erase this feeling of unfinished business.

“Fuck, it would please all of us to fuck the Camorra over,” Samuel snapped.

Pietro didn’t deny it. “We have to think of the future. The two of you have to think about the future. Don’t let the past drag you down, no matter how messed up it was. We tried our hand at revenge and failed. We’ve got to move on and ensure the Outfit’s business keeps growing.”

Samuel and I exchanged a look. We certainly didn’t want to move on, but I doubted Samuel would go against his father.

“Perhaps we should change the subject. After all, you’re here for a far more pleasant occasion,” Pietro said.

“Indeed. Speaking of engagements, I intend to tell my sister that you are going to marry her while we’re here,” I told Samuel. “That way we can pretend the agreement was made now.”

Pietro nodded. “That sounds reasonable. Nobody will link it to the arrangement between you and Sofia.”

Samuel remained silent. He looked less than thrilled about the prospect of making anything official with my sister. “You gave your word,” I growled.

He smirked. “I’ll marry your sister, don’t worry.”

As usual, our mutual understanding ended the moment either Sofia or Emma were mentioned.

“Good. Are you going to talk to her after I tell her?”