Fragile Longing

It sounded easy when Anna laid our plan out. She was a planner and had no trouble getting her way most of the time. I hated conflict and wanted people to like me.

“Don’t worry. We went over our plan a million times. I’ll stick to it.”

“All right.” But I heard the doubt in her voice.

My worry that we wouldn’t be allowed to enter the party had been unfounded. Santino was well-known in our circles and got us in without a hitch even though the bouncers didn’t know who we were. They probably suspected we were society girls that Santino wanted to get lucky with. I’d never been at the Mancini lodge and it felt strange entering the place in disguise when it would be one of my homes in only five months. Our wedding was set for June, two months after my birthday, so I had time to finish school.

As suspected, the lights were dimmed, except for a few disco globes and spotlights that bathed the rooms in different colors. The party wasn’t just happening inside. A large number of guests had gathered outside to smoke, lounge in the hot tub or risk pneumonia in the freezing lake.

I leaned closer to Anna. “Do we have to congratulate Danilo? It’s his birthday party, after all.”

Anna shrugged. “I doubt anyone pays attention to etiquette here. Have you spotted him yet?”

“No.” I scanned the guests. Most of the men were sparsely costumed like Santino, but the women had gone all out. The back of one guy reminded me of Samuel and I quickly angled my body the other way. Samuel would kill me if he found out I was here.

Santino hovered close to us, arms crossed over his broad chest and his no-doubt pissed face covered by his skull mask.

The music was so loud that the floor seemed to vibrate under my heels. I had never been at a party before, and I doubted I’d ever be allowed to attend one officially. I gave Anna a wide-eyed look when a naked girl raced past us and dashed down the path to the lake. She smirked, giving me an I-told-you-so look. Santino’s expression on the other hand conveyed that he wanted to kill us.

I leaned over to Anna. “He looks pissed. Are you sure this is a good idea?”

She waved me off. “Don’t worry. I can handle him.”

I wondered what exactly Anna had used against him. Santino didn’t strike me as a man who would let a teenage girl tell him what to do. But Anna refused to tell me. Technically, she wasn’t breaking our pinky swear by keeping a secret because she wasn’t lying outright. I wished I’d thought of that when we’d made that promise many years ago. Then I’d have stipulated different terms. My curiosity was killing me.

I looked around, not sure what to do. Anna linked our fingers and dragged me over to the bar on the patio. I shivered from the cold. Anna handed me a drink. I sipped at it and grimaced. It was beer with a strange lemony note.

Another glance around confirmed Danilo wasn’t nearby. I touched my mask again. Still safely in place. Few people wore actual face masks. Even Danilo would recognize me without a mask though.

Anna nudged me, and I followed her gaze. My stomach sank. Danilo and his cousin Marco stood off to the side of the large wooden patio, talking to two girls. Naturally, Danilo was with a blonde—again. Always with blondes. Always with women who resembled Serafina but couldn’t hold a candle to her beauty. They were less, a copy of the original.

Less.

So was I. Not what Danilo wanted.

I was the consolation prize, would always be.

Indignation rose in me. He’d never given me a chance to show him I was more than second best, more than a consolation prize.

I shoved down those thoughts and nodded to show Anna that I’d spotted him. He was only talking to the girl, but I doubted that was where it would end. I took another sip from my drink, considering what to do. Was I brave enough to approach him? To play this out to the end?Danilo was dressed in a SWAT uniform, no mask or makeup, which made him easy to spot. His cousin had opted for a Joker costume.

“This is your chance,” Anna shouted into my ear when the two girls headed back inside the house. “They’re probably taking a bathroom break, so you need to hurry.”

I nodded, suddenly overcome with nerves. I’d never flirted with anyone, unless my failed attempts to flirt with Danilo counted. “They could be returning soon, though, and what about Santino?”

He leaned against the bar next to us, glowering but keeping watch. He hadn’t touched any alcohol yet and probably wouldn’t.

Anna smiled coyly. “He can’t split himself in two, and I’m his priority. I’ll head to the restrooms. Maybe I can even chat up those girls and hold them up.”