Mom and Anna turned to me.
“Do you have a vision of how you’d like to look?” Mom asked.
“Elegant. I’d like a veil, but nothing too flashy or puffy.”
My mother exchanged a look of surprise with Anna.
“Why don’t you show us an example, so we’ll know what to look for?” Mom said.
I approached the dresses to my right and pulled out an ivory-white off-shoulder dress with long sleeves. I stared at the dress, felt the silk-like material, and knew I needed to try it on immediately. “Like this,” I whispered.
“Try it on,” Anna urged, practically shoving me toward the changing room, as if she could sense it might be the dress.
I didn’t dare think I could have found my dress on the first try. That seemed like fate, and so far, fate hadn’t really been kind to me or my family.
The saleswoman joined me in the cabin to help me dress, then went to fetch a narrow underskirt to keep the fine, flowy skirt away from my legs so I wouldn’t step on it. There wasn’t a mirror in the changing room, and yet the dress felt perfect already, as if it had been made just for me.
The moment I stepped out from behind the curtain, Mom and Anna stopped what they were doing and watched me. My heart pounded wildly as I made my way toward a small pedestal and the surrounding mirrors.
When I saw myself, I had no doubt that I’d found my dress. The fabric was airy, a mesh of fine layers. The off-shoulder design was daring. Lace trimmed the bodice that wrapped around my body and dipped low to reveal my shoulders, collarbones, upper arms, and down to the swell of my breasts. The slight sweetheart neckline accentuated my chest. The sleeves ended in the middle of my forearms, and the full skirt flowed elegantly around my legs.
“Perfect,” Mom gushed.
Anna nodded. It was probably the first time I’d ever seen her speechless.
The saleswoman appeared with a simple, elegant veil that she attached to my head with a jewel-studded hair piece.
Mom sucked in a deep breath when the veil fell down my face. If Fina had gotten the chance to walk down the aisle, she would have worn a veil similar to this in style as was tradition in our family.
“Danilo will be blown away,” Mom whispered.
“I love it,” I said simply.
Anna touched my bare shoulder. “Then you should get it. You’re the bride, and all that matters is that you love it . . . and yourself.” The last words were said very quietly.
I smiled. “This is my dress. I don’t need to try on anything else. I love myself in it.”I hadn’t seen Danilo since that night, nor had I seen Anna since we’d gone shopping for my wedding dress. I spoke to Anna on the phone almost daily, but Danilo had stopped inquiring about my health after another clipped reply from me shortly after the dress shopping. I didn’t want his concern, because I wasn’t sure if it was honest or driven by guilt.
I needed time to come to terms with what had happened and find the necessary strength to harden myself against the feelings Danilo evoked in me. My crush on him hadn’t magically disappeared, but I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t give up myself for this infatuation anymore. With my parents, I’d witnessed what true love was, a constant give and take. So far, Danilo hadn’t given but I needed him to. I wouldn’t make another move. It was his turn.
I walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where Anna was putting makeup on at my vanity. She and her family had arrived in Minneapolis yesterday. It gave us the chance to get ready together for my eighteenth birthday party—one of the most important dates for a girl in our circles.
Anna turned to me when I entered, and her mouth fell open. “Wow! What the hell are you wearing?”
Anna only cursed around people she knew well and trusted, people who wouldn’t tell on her. I loved that she knew I was one of them.
I glanced down at myself. “A dress. At least, that’s what the saleslady said.” I grinned.
Anna got up, rolling her eyes. “That isn’t a dress. That’s a liability.”
“A liability?”
She walked around me, checking me out like I was a piece of meat. “You’re a risk to any man with a heart condition.”
I snorted. “Right.”
I was thrilled with Anna’s reaction. When I’d first seen the dress in my favorite boutique, I’d thought it would look perfect on Anna or Fina, but then I’d gathered my courage and decided it would look good on me, too. And it did. I’d never worn anything as daring before. It was cut low in the back, dipping down to the dimples right over my ass. Beautiful, intricate Swarovski-crystal chains held the fabric together. It hugged my body like a second skin. The neckline was high, reaching my collarbones, which only added to the allure. The dress had a long slit on my left side, revealing more of my leg than I usually showed. When I’d first put it on, I hadn’t been sure I could pull it off, but now I was glad that I’d bought it. I looked fabulous.