Cavalier (Crimson Elite 1)

Tracey finally returns ten minutes later with two packs of tests and I grab them, running to the bathroom and peeing on the first stick, then another just in case. Tracey pushes the door open as I hover over the sink waiting for it to tell me negative, but what comes up makes me gasp.

“Positive.” Tracey echoes the words from the first test.

I push it off the counter listening to it as it falls to the floor before watching the second one.

“Positive,” I say this time.

This time it’s me that falls to the floor.

“I can’t have a baby. Babies and me are not meant to happen.”

Tracey falls to the floor with me, hugging me from behind as I start to rock back and forth.

“We should go to the doctor, just to be safe.”

I manage to nod as she pulls her cell out and speaks into it.

I stay away from home knowing full well he’s going to come back and that I can’t face him right now.I’m due to go to work today and I want to go. I have to go, especially after the results from the doctor. “Pregnant,” he said with a smile. Like I was meant to smile back at him. I sat there contemplating what I was going to do with my life. How I was going to survive. I was already three months pregnant. There’s no going back for me at all, and soon everyone will know I’m pregnant. Even the one man I don’t want to know, Creed.

I spot him at the bar and turn in the other direction so I can avoid him and hope he leaves.

Hilary, one of the new girls, bumps into me. I apologize and she looks over my shoulder where I was looking. “Are you avoiding?”

I nod my head and she smiles. Looking to the bed in front of me, one of the girls is in there, her hands tied to the rings which hang from the ceiling as the guy with her fucks her from behind, pinching her nipples and slapping her pussy. She cries out in pleasure as she watches me watching her.

“It’s not so bad, sometimes it’s fun.”

I forgot Hilary was next to me. Turning back to her, I see a young girl who’s beyond pretty. I wonder what choices she made to end up in this line of work.

“By the way, he’s walking this way.”

My body locks up as hands touch my belly—the one place I don’t want his hands.

“Remove them.” My voice is shaky but firm. He listens and takes them off me without a second warning.

Hilary walks away and I turn to face him. He’s searching my eyes for something he can’t get. I won’t give.

“Please don’t touch me again.”

Creed doesn’t move an inch. It annoys me that I can never read his emotions, that they’re always hidden from the world. Sometimes if you’re lucky you get to see something, but it’s very rare and hard to work out.

“Elicea.”

I shake my head at him, then I turn to see Johnny looking my way. My shift has started and I’m talking to Creed who I planned to avoid. “I have to work.” Walking past him I try not to touch him, but the brush of my arm on his makes every hair on my body stand still. He does that to me, he always has.

“I won’t let you avoid me,” he whispers. It almost sounds like a threat. I ignore him and keep walking to the bar. Johnny offers me a small smile as I get to work. It helps we’re mostly busy, so I don’t have to think about what’s currently growing inside my belly.

Looking to my left, he’s standing at the end of the bar watching me.

It hits me then, harder than I’ve ever been hit before.

How did it take me so long to see it? That what I have for him isn’t some random boyfriend feeling. What I feel for him is strong, stronger than I’ve felt for anyone in my life.

That scares me. That feeling scares me more than the child growing in my belly. A child would love me, even if I’m not cut out for this life.

Creed, well, I don’t think Creed loves anyone but his mother.

Glancing away, I try my best not to look up at him for the rest of the night. Even if he doesn’t move from his spot making it even harder on me.“He’s gone. Go now, El,” Johnny says handing me my bag. He doesn’t know what’s going on between Creed and me, but he isn’t dumb either. I’m sure he’s noticed how he comes down here more often now than he used to. Or how I lost my smile for almost two months while I didn’t speak with him.

“Are you sure?” I ask grabbing my bag.