Insolent (Crimson Elite 4)

“That’s a bit fucked up.” She squeezes my hand harder. “Okay, okay, woman, I’ll love you until I cant, which will never happen. Fuck! Now give my hand back so it doesn’t fall off.”

She smiles as a contraction hits. “I love you, Darby. Remember that in the next few hours when I want to kill you.”

Everyone laughs and Creed slaps me on the back. I shrug him off. He and El don’t plan to have any more kids. One’s their limit, though it seems I’m having enough for all of us anyway.

I love her in her sleep.

I love her at her worst.

I’ll love her for all eternity.

Of this, I know for sure.* * *My dearest boy,

I do not know your name, though in my head you are Charles. I hope I can live long enough to tell you this. Or to tell your father, who, by the way is a great man, who I know you will take after. He’s a very determined man, and one who is true to his word. But I’m sure you know all of this. So, I want to tell you a bit about me, some stuff you might not know. I don’t have a family, but I hope you will have the greatest, because I know whoever your father brings into your life will be nothing but spectacular. He isn’t a man who would settle for less than that, I am sure.

You’re kicking me right now, so it feels weird to write this to you. Now that you’re grown and not this little person in my belly who I created. Did you know I knew I wanted you before I was even an adult? Weird, right? But I was put on this earth to make you, of that I am sure. I would do it all again if the outcome is you. Without a doubt.

I just came back from your last ultrasound, and you’re due to enter this world in a few weeks. I’ve been putting this letter off, because would you really want a letter from your dead mother? But if it were me, I know I would read it. So, I thought why not. However, if you never read it, that’s okay, too. It’s good for me to picture your future, to know you have one is inspiring.

I wish I could be there for all your firsts—your first steps, your first words. Hell, even your first kiss. But I’m not, and I will never be okay with that, but your father will be there. And I know you will have the best life, achieve the greatest things simply because of him.

I want to tell you…

I love you.

I am proud of you.

And that until this life is over, I can’t wait to meet you. We will. I’ll be waiting, but I hope it’s not for a very long time and you have many kids and a long happy life.

I love you, give your father a kiss for me.

I’ll be dreaming of you.

Love, Mumma.TEXT TLSMITH TO 312-728-8217 (US ONLY)