Her arms tightened over her chest. “He’s not going to change his perspective—”
“Don’t give up on me.” I couldn’t lose her. I did it once, and it was unbearable. I’d handed myself over to Damien because I was so delirious. “Give me a chance. I can change his mind—eventually.”
She shook her head slightly.
“Baby, please.” The idea of obtaining Damien’s forgiveness sounded like a ton of effort and a pain in the ass, but I would work hard to make it happen—because she was worth it. “You told me you aren’t looking for a husband for a few years anyway. You’ve got time. Give that time to me.”
“I’ve thought about that too…but the longer I stay, the harder it’ll be to leave. And I can already see how things are different with my family. I can feel the awkwardness that wasn’t there before, even with Anna. You’ve been ostracized by my family, and now they treat me differently because of it. I don’t want to lose my family.”
“You’ll never lose them, baby.”
“But it’s not the same anymore. I can’t imagine you asking my father’s permission to marry me and him saying yes—”
Now I took a deep breath, feeling the pain in my lungs because I’d sucked in the air so fast. “You think about marrying me?”
She was quiet for a while. “No. I just mean hypothetically—”
“Don’t lie to me. Can you really walk away from the man you want to marry?”
She looked away.
“What did I say about looking at me?” I snapped.
She turned back to me, her nostrils flaring in annoyance.
“Don’t walk away from me. Not yet.” I wanted to chain her to my bed so she couldn’t leave. I wanted to take her away, start over somewhere new, just so we could be together. But she would never truly be happy—because she needed both of us.
She was quiet for a long time, breathing hard. “I want a husband who calls Damien a friend. That’s so important to me because my father won’t be around after another decade, and he’ll be all I have left—”
“Balto is all I have left too. I understand how you feel.”
She rubbed her arms like she was cold. “I want our kids to play together. I want us to be close. But if Damien refuses to acknowledge your existence, I’ll have to go over there alone with our kids and you can’t come and it’s just… I don’t want that. I want the four of us to be a family. I just can’t see that happening with you.”
“Right now, no. But in time, yes. I can make that happen.”
She shook her head like my suggestion was ridiculous. “The gypsy told me I would only love one man…and he would be an enemy to my family.”
“But she didn’t say there was no hope. She didn’t say things can’t change. She only told you one truth about your life—the rest is up for grabs. Look, I’m a man who can make shit happen. At least let me try.”
“If I get out now, it’ll be much easier than if I wait—”
“Let. Me. Try.” I raised my voice because my temper was starting to rise. “I lost you once, and I can’t do it again. I won’t fucking do it again.” I started to breathe hard, my body aching because of all the exertion I was putting forth. “All that shit with Damien just happened weeks ago. Of course he’s still angry. Fuck, I’m still angry. Let him cool off. Let the dust settle. Then, let’s try.”
She ran her fingers through her hair, clearly flustered by the risk she was taking. “Even if you’re successful, there’s still my father—”
“I’ll win him over too.”
“I-I don’t know about that.” She shook her head. “And I need his blessing, even if he’s gone. I just can’t be with a man my father doesn’t approve of—”
“I’ve seen him with you, Catalina. That man is not bitter, cold, or selfish. He loves you so much, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t give you—if it made you happy. All you’d have to do is talk to him, and I’m sure he would be responsive.”
“And then Damien would talk him out of it again. His son’s opinion matters to him—”
“Then let me work on Damien.” I raised my hand to silence her. “I’m just asking for some time. I let your brother beat me nearly to death. I’m clearly willing to do anything to make this happen. Anything at all. So please…let me fucking try.”
She sighed quietly, closing her eyes for a few seconds as she considered the offer. She was still at odds with her feelings, still afraid to give me any chance because it would hurt her so much if it didn’t work out.
“We’re supposed to be together, Catalina.”
Her eyes focused on my face. “You said you didn’t believe in fate and stuff like that.”