Julian (Trinity Academy 4)

“I’m still here,” I try to comfort him. “I’m stronger than I look.”

Closing the remaining distance between us until our bodies touch, Julian presses a kiss to every bruise on my face, then his mouth moves to my neck. He's so gentle with me, it makes it so much harder not to cry.

Bringing his eyes back to mine, he must see I’m struggling because he wraps his arms tightly around me and whispers, “Cry, Jamie. No one will see.”

As if my tear ducts were waiting to hear those words, I’m unable to stop myself. I tighten my hold on his jacket and press my forehead to his shoulder, trying to smother the first sob.

“I’m here,” he whispers close to my ear.

Nodding, I press closer to him.

Julian’s grip on me releases, but it’s only for a moment so he can slip his arms under me. Lifting me to his chest, he walks us over to the armchair. He sits down and positions me sideways on his lap, so my legs can rest over the side of the chair.

Cradling me, he keeps whispering words of comfort until I drift off from exhaustion.Waking with a start, my breaths rush over my lips.

Arms tighten around me, and I hear Julian whisper, “It’s okay. I’m here.”

He’s still sitting with me on his lap, and it makes my body relax against his.

“Aren’t you tired?” I ask.

“No. I’ll sit with you for as long as it takes,” he murmurs.

I pull back and force a smile to my lips. “You can’t be comfortable in a suit.” I begin to shift off his lap, but he drops a hand to my hip to stop me. Glancing at him, I say, “At least change out of the suit. I’ll sleep on the bed.”

Julian pushes his arms under me and getting up, he carries me over to the bed where he gently places me down.

My eyes follow him as he walks to a dresser. He pulls a pair of sweatpants out and then drops them on the bed.

He unbuttons his suit jacket and shrugging it off, he first goes to hang it up before he steps out of his shoes.

The moment feels intimate while I watch him undress. There’s no sexual tension as I take in the gorgeous sight of him. I’ve never spent this much time with a man before.

Julian has been by my side ever since this mess started. We haven’t had a chance to enjoy each other like other couples do, and it makes me worry whether our newborn romance will survive this nightmare.

After pulling on the sweatpants, he lies down on the bed and gently lifts my head so he can push his arm under it. I snuggle closer to him until our bodies are pressed together, and rest my head on his shoulder.

Julian presses his mouth to the top of my head and takes a deep breath, then asks, “How do you feel?”

“I’m okay,” I answer automatically, hesitant to share my worries about us with him.

The look of concern never eases from his face. “And your head? You’ll tell me if it hurts?”

Lifting my face to his, I press a soft kiss to his mouth. “You’re so caring.”

His arms wrap around me, and he holds me as if he’s scared I’ll vanish into thin air if he relaxes for a second.

My new worry wins out, and I ask, “Do you think our relationship will survive this mess?”

I have never been a needy person, and the feeling is a foreign one.

I hate it.

This attack has stripped me of my self-confidence.

Julian brings his hand to my jaw and gently nudges it up, so I’ll look at him. “What made you ask that question?”

I swallow hard before I answer, “It’s a lot of pressure getting involved with someone who…” my words trail away as I’m unable to finish the sentence.

He leans in and presses a kiss to my mouth. “There’s no pressure, Jamie. Yes, I’m worried and fear for your safety, but that doesn’t affect how I feel about you.”

How do you feel about me?

As if he can read my thoughts, he says, “I’m not going to tell you I love you. Not now. You wouldn’t believe the words, and in all honesty, you deserve more than a confession that’s overshadowed by trauma.”

Although I understand his reasoning, it doesn’t lessen my worry.

“Hey, look at me.”

My eyes drift back to his.

“I’m committed to you, Jamie. Through the good and the bad. Once this is over, we’ll get to enjoy each other.”

When this is over.

“Will it ever end?” My voice sounds hollow because there’s no hope left in me.

“The police now know who he is. They’ll find him,” Julian assures me.

“Why me?” I ask, even though none of us have an answer.

Julian tightens his hold on me and presses soft kisses to my forehead, my cheeks, and my jaw.