Chapter 34JamieThe second we get home, I go to the bathroom, needing to wash the nightmare off of me.
If that’s at all possible.
I’m busy taking a shower when the full impact of what happened shudders through me again. My movements slow down as I rinse the suds from my body until my arms fall limply to my sides.
I keep hearing his words.
‘There’s this sensation of watching the life drain away from someone. You can almost taste the air changing.’
‘Don’t panic. It will be quick.’
‘Just go peacefully.’
The words gnaw at my frail nerves, and I sink down to the tiled floor.
“Jamie, are you okay in there?” Julian calls from the other side of the door.
“I’m not sure,” I murmur, my mind still stuck in the back of the van.
I hear the door open, and then Julian turns off the water before he crouches next to me. My head feels heavy as I tilt it back to look at him.
“I’m not sure what to feel,” I admit.
“That’s totally understandable,” he says as he slips his hands under me. Lifting me out of the shower, he takes me over to the counter and sets me down. He first dries me, then wraps me in a bathrobe before carrying me to the bed.
After he sets me down, he strips out of his damp dress shirt and suit pants, then slides in next to me.
“We seem to be meeting here a lot,” I say. Reaching for his hand, I bring it closer and press a kiss to his skin. “Thank you.”
Thank you for killing him.
“It had to be done,” he murmurs. “You understand, right?”
Not wanting him feeling any guilt or remorse for what he’s done to protect me, I nod. “I do. The world will be a better place without him in it.”
Julian glances over my face, then he asks, “How’s your head? He didn’t hurt you again?”
I shake my head and snuggle closer to him. “He tried to strangle me, but it was briefly. This time I could fight back, and y’all were there pretty quickly.”
There’s a moment’s silence, then Julian asks, “You said you talked with him?”
I nod, and wrapping an arm around Julian’s waist, I rest my cheek over his heart.
“He didn’t come across as some crazy creep. The way he spoke and his gestures – he almost seemed charismatic… friendly.” I pause for a moment before I admit, “I think that scared me more than if he had been insane and railed at me.”
“I’m sorry this happened,” Julian says. “Why didn’t you tell Hayden or Max? Why did you go to CRC?”
I shift back and move my head to a pillow, so I can see Julian. “He threatened to kill you if I didn’t go.” I can see he’s going to ask another question, so I add, “He sent me photos of you. I thought if I could just get to CRC and have him focus on me, the guards there would be able to stop him.”
“Jamie,” he whispers as he turns onto his side so he can face me, “you’re so unbelievably brave.”
I didn’t expect him to say that.
“I’m glad you think so,” I try to joke. “Most people would call me stupid.”
“Why do you think that?” He lifts a hand to my face, and brushes a finger from my cheek, down to my jaw.
“I just… Hell, even Henry said I was stupid to go to him.”
He shakes his head lightly. “You came face to face with a monster, and you survived. You’re such an incredible person.” He presses a light kiss to my lips then smiles, “I should’ve known you were remarkable the night we argued, and you didn’t back down.”
Remembering the night I begin to smile, but then I freeze as a memory flashes through me.
“Oh, my God,” I gasp as I sit up.
Julian shoots up as well. “What?”
“The night we argued, and I ran after you to apologize.” I cover my mouth with my hand for a moment as I try to process it.
Julian shakes his head. “We dealt with all of that, didn’t we?” he asks, misunderstanding my reaction.
“No, I don’t mean about the argument itself. That night I ran into Henry’s cart. I smiled and apologized to him before going after you, but…” I try to think if that could be it. “Do you think that’s the moment that started this whole nightmare?”
Julian thinks back, then begins to nod. “It could be. It was your first night at Trinity.”
“Right?”
I don’t know why, but the realization makes me feel emotional. As if finding out where it all started helped to make the whole nightmare come full circle.
Julian pulls me closer and wraps his arms around me, then says, “It’s over now. He will never hurt you again.”
I nod as I move my arms around his neck, and taking in a deep breath of him, I close my eyes and whisper, “Thank you so much for standing by me through it all.”