I waited a couple of minutes before I tried again. If she didn’t answer this time, I’d book a fucking flight to Chicago today and get her. To my relief, Lily picked up after the third ring.
“Where were you? I tried to call you before. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” The detachment in her tone made me pause. It felt like there was a barrier between us that had nothing to do with our physical separation.
“I’ve been thinking about the best way to go about it and I think I should fly over to you as soon as possible. Luca is getting more and more suspicious, so we need to act quickly.”
“I don’t think we should do it.”
“Do what?” I asked carefully.
“Run away.”
“I know you don’t want to leave your sisters, but maybe Luca will take us in later. Aria might change his mind.”
“No,” she said firmly. “I mean I don’t want you to come here and take me away. I’m going to stay.”
I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. “What are you saying? That you want to marry Benito? I don’t believe that for one second. He could be your father.”
“But he’s an important man. He has many soldiers who follow him.”
“Since when do you care about something like that?”
“I’ve always cared about it. I enjoyed our time together Romero but we have to be reasonable. It could never work out between us. You are a soldier and I have a duty to fulfill as the daughter of a Consigliere. We all have to do things we don’t want to do.”
“What the fuck did your father do? This doesn’t sound like you, Lily.”
“Romero, please. Don’t make this harder than it is. You have your responsibilities to Luca. I don’t want you to break your oath.”
“I don’t care about my oath.”
“But you should!” she said angrily. “I don’t want you to come here. It’s over between us Romero. I’m going to do the right thing and marry Benito. And you should do the right thing and follow Luca’s orders.”
Suddenly I was angry. “So what was this between us? An adventure for the summer? Curiosity how it would be to fuck a common soldier?”
Lily sucked in a deep breath and I regretted my harsh words, but I was too proud to take them back or apologize. “We can’t talk again,” she said quietly. Was she crying? “We should forget what happened.”
“Don’t worry, I will,” I said, then I hung up. I flung my phone away. “Fuck!”
Aria rushed toward me, alarmed. “What’s wrong? Is it Lily?”
“She wants to go through with marrying Brasci.”
Aria froze. “She said that?”
I nodded. I headed for the kitchen. I needed a cup of coffee. Aria hurried after me. “What else did she say?”
“Not much. Only that Benito is a good catch and that we should both do our duty. Fuck that.”
“She doesn’t mean it, Romero. She loves you. She probably only wants to protect us.”
I wasn’t sure anymore. And even if Aria was right, maybe Lily had a point. I’d devoted my life to the Famiglia. I shouldn’t abandon my oath only because of a woman. I was a Made Man and my priority should always be my job.CHAPTER FIFTEENLiliana
Aria called me thirty minutes after my call with Romero, trying to talk me out of my plan to marry Benito. But she was already fighting with Luca because of me. I wouldn’t allow her to really put her marriage at risk for my own selfish reasons. I would marry Benito and try to make the best out of it.
The next few weeks passed in a blur of wedding dress shopping with Valentina, choosing flowers and the menu, calling important guests to invite them personally. I only saw Benito on two occasions and there wasn’t time for more than a few exchanged words and a kiss on the cheek. That and the fact that I was too busy to be worried, I almost managed to forget that I was actually preparing my wedding to a man I could hardly stand. But reality set in on the day of Father’s wedding to Maria. He hadn’t talked to me since I’d told him I wasn’t a virgin, except on the few occasions when we had to pretend for Benito or other people.
While Gianna and Matteo would arrive later to attend my wedding only, Aria and Luca were also invited to Father’s feast of course, and that meant Romero was with them. I’d hoped he’d decide to stay in New York, not because I didn’t want to see him but because I was scared of facing him, of being confronted with what I was losing.
Luckily, they were all coming directly to church because their plane arrived so late; that meant there was a chance of me being able to avoid an encounter with Romero.
I sat in the front row, Benito beside me. He didn’t touch me in any way, thank God, because it would have been improper before our marriage, but every time Aria or Gianna looked my way I felt like I was doing something indecent by sitting next to a man I didn’t even want to marry.
I wasn’t sure where Romero was sitting. Since he wasn’t family, probably somewhere in the back of the church. After the service we headed toward the hotel where the wedding celebration would take place. I managed to get through dinner without seeing Romero, but later into the evening when I was dancing with Benito I spotted him at the other end of the room. He was watching me. Suddenly the other dancers around me faded into the background. Shame washed over me. I wanted to push Benito away. I wanted to cross the room and fling myself at Romero, wanted to tell him that I needed him. I had to look away. When the song ended, I excused myself and quickly left the dance floor. I hurried toward the exit. I needed to get away from this for a moment before I lost it.
Once the door closed after me and I found myself in the hallway of the hotel, I could breathe easier. I didn’t stop though. I didn’t want to come across guests returning from the bathroom or heading in that direction. I wanted to be alone.