He nodded and settled on the sofa. He opened the pizza carton and grabbed a piece. The spicy scent wafted over to me and reminded me that I hadn’t eaten since the morning. Growl had stocked the kitchen with a few more essentials since I’d moved in.
“Have you found out more about my sister?” I asked.
A few times I caught myself staring at his long fingers and remembering how it had felt to have them on my body.
I needed to stop this madness. Focus on something else, I told myself, and finally I settled for his scar. My eyes traced the angry red line around his throat. It was jagged as if they had used a saw-toothed knife. How could someone survive something like that? It seemed impossible. I couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to have the blood drain out of you. I shivered. There were so many rumors about how it had happened, and even more about how he’d survived. I suspected that many of them were the foundation on which Growl’s notorious reputation had been founded. Why was he alive? A wound like that, a cut throat, almost always meant death. Why had someone like him, someone who didn’t deserve to live, survived, while others died from less? It seemed unfair and cruel. Maybe it was stupid of me to expect life to be fair, to give everyone what they deserved.
I tore my gaze away, afraid he’d notice it and get angry. But he was probably used to the staring by now. Wherever he went people watched in awe and fear. I doubted he enjoyed the attention, so different from his boss. I’d seen the pride and delight on Falcone’s face whenever people shied away from his most feared assassin.
“Eat,” Growl rasped.
I jumped and again my eyes found his throat. This was my chance to get answers, to find out if there was a sliver of truth to the rumors my friends and I had whispered to each other in hushed voices. My chance to figure out the man in front of me, and how to influence him. Yet I wasn’t sure if I wanted to find out more about him. People fear what they don’t know, that was a quote I knew to be true but I had a feeling that not knowing was a blessing when it came to the man in front of me. With every layer that I peeled off more horrors would be exposed.
“Ask or stop looking,” he said. He didn’t sound angry.
I glared. I wanted to ask and at the same time didn’t. Not when he had almost ordered me to, but then my curiosity won. “What happened to you?”
Growl pushed another piece of pizza into his mouth and chewed slowly. He swallowed, then looked at me. “Someone wanted me dead, cut my throat,” he replied, eyes blank. “But I survived.”
I stared. That wasn’t an answer, at least not one that allowed me to find out more about Growl. It was generic and emotionless, but it showed me something. That I’d found a topic Growl was uncomfortable with.
He nodded toward my untouched pizza. “Either you eat or I’ll feed it to the dogs.”
I was too hungry to give the pizza to the dogs out of spite and so I started eating.
Afterward, Growl went outside again to work out, and I decided to hide in my room. I didn’t want to risk something like last time. But I couldn’t restrain myself very long and peeked out of the window into the yard. Growl was covered in sweat as he pushed two massive dumb-bells over his head, face scrunched up with strain.
I let out a breath and quickly slipped into bed. If I watched him a moment longer, I’d only want to touch myself again.CHAPTER TWELVEGrowl
Growl knew she’d been watching him from her room. He’d seen her in the window. This was eating away at his control. He couldn’t think about anything but her body anymore.
Growl returned into the house after an hour-long intense workout, but he still didn’t feel like this had calmed him down. He went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel to wipe his sweat off.
A sound caught his attention. He walked closer to Cara’s room. The noise was coming from inside. It sounded like she was moaning.
Growl lowered the towel slowly, his groin tightening. He moved closer and put his ear to the door. Again, a moan, low and drawn out. Growl closed his eyes. She was touching herself because of him. He had no doubt about it.
Fuck. He could feel himself hardening at the mere idea of what was going on behind that closed door.
Why was he even still standing here? He grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open. He made sure to be as quiet as possible. He didn’t want her to notice him at once. He peered inside, and couldn’t believe his eyes. She wasn’t even awake. Her eyes were closed and her breathing too low. He stepped inside as he watched one of her hands move between her legs.