“You won’t die. You’re the strongest person I know,” I whispered. I stepped very close to him and locked eyes with his.
“I’m not.” His amber eyes sucked me in. So many horrors lay beyond them, and yet I didn’t hate him, not anymore.
How could I have let this happen?
“What’s happening to us?” I asked quietly.
Growl frowned.
“What am I to you?”
“You are mine,” he said simply. His.
His possession? His gift? Only that, or more?
It didn’t matter. Once I was in New York, there was no future for us. I wouldn’t stay with Growl. I couldn’t, couldn’t do this to Mother and my sister. They wouldn’t understand, and how could they, if I didn’t know how it happened.GROWL
“I will take care of your dogs if that’s what you want,” Cara said.
Growl wanted many things, things he’d never wanted before. Most of all he wanted to tell her that he didn’t want to lose her. And that for the first time in his life he was scared to die because he wanted to have more time with her, and at the same he was scared not to die and see her leave him the moment they were in New York.
“Coco and Bandit love you,” he told her.
She searched his eyes, but he wasn’t sure what she was looking for. Even now he hardly understand the workings of her brain. She was a mystery to him, would probably always be, but it didn’t matter. Somehow, she’d done what no one else had ever done. She’d bound him to her and he would always be loyal to her.
He’d been loyal to Falcone too. And he would have died for him, because Growl had never before cared if he lived or died. But now, now he wanted to live, and yet he’d gladly give his life for Cara, so she could be happy.
“And I love them,” Cara said softly.
The word ‘love’ from Cara’s lips did something to Growl he could not understand.Cara
The next morning Growl woke me before sunrise. He had been gone all night and I’d been sick with worry because he hadn’t warned me that he’d be gone so long.
“We have to act today,” Growl said.
I rubbed my eyes. “What…” she stopped herself, realizing what he meant. She sat up. “Why? Did something happen?”
“Falcone is tired of negotiating with New York. I doubt he’ll have use for your mother much longer.”
I pushed out of bed. “Are we ready?”
We couldn’t fail.
“Ready enough,” Growl rumpled. “We have to risk it. We can’t wait. I found someone who will help us. I can’t take care of everything on my own.”
“Can we trust him?”
Growl shook his head. “I don’t trust anyone. But he’s on Falcone’s hit list, and I offered him a chance to escape. It also helps that Falcone killed his brothers and he’s out for revenge like we are. I was supposed to kill him.”
“Okay,” I said uncertainly.
“And I know him from when we were kids. His mother was one of Bud’s whores. He and I occasionally spent time together in the brothel.”
“You were friends?”
“No. I had no friends. He was scared of me even back then, but we often hid from Bud together, so we were allies.”
“Okay, if you think he won’t betray us, I believe you.”
Growl reached out as if to touch my cheek but dropped his arm. Disappointment filled me but I had no time to dwell on it. “You need to get dressed. Grab a few things for the drive to New York. I want to leave in fifteen minutes.”
I put on comfortable clothes and stuffed a toothbrush and a change of clothes into a backpack before I rushed out of my room. Growl waited in front of the door. Bandit and Coco were nowhere in sight. “I put them in the car already,” he said, as if he’d seen the question in my eyes.
I nodded, drawing in a shuddering breath. I wanted to say something but my mouth was too dry. Instead I stood on my tiptoes and gave Growl a lingering kiss. His eyes softened but mostly they looked melancholic.
“Let’s go,” he murmured, opened the door and stepped out.
When we pulled out of the driveway, a strange sense of wistfulness overcame me. Not because I would miss this hopeless area, but because I’d miss whatever odd connection Growl and I had developed. I wasn’t sure what the future would bring, but I knew Growl and I couldn’t be together. It wouldn’t work. It was wrong.
I risked a glance at the man beside me. Almost two months ago, we’d been in a car together as well, and back then my life had seemed over. I’d hated him, feared him, wanted him dead. He’d been nothing but a monster in my eyes. His gruesome tattoos didn’t repel me anymore, and neither did his scar, which I now knew was only one of many. I understood him better now.