Bound by Vengeance (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles 5)

Luca, Romero and Matteo startled and pulled their guns. But Coco and Bandit didn’t attack. They squeezed against Growl’s legs and he reached down to pat their heads but his eyes went to me, piercing me to the very core.

Two weeks since we’d last seen each other. Where had he been? Why hadn’t he given me a sign that he was alive? I’d mourned his death, had made plans for a future without him, but now that he was here I wondered if we even had a future together. We’d never talked about it. I had been his, not by choice, and now that I was free I wondered if we could make it work. Did I really want to live with the man who’d as good as owned me? Did he even want me now that I wasn’t a mere gift anymore? So many questions raced through my head and left me reeling.

I searched his eyes and realized that just for an instant before Growl could put his shields back up, I saw my own questions reflected in them.

“You are alive,” I said simply.

He didn’t move closer. “I am hard to kill.”

I noticed Aria in the corner, watching us.

Luca broke the tense silence. “Is it done?”

Growl finally tore his gaze away from me. “I killed many of Falcone’s closest men. There’s a lot of fighting going on in Vegas now. His sons and Cosimo are fighting for power. It’ll keep them busy for a while.”

Luca seemed satisfied with that. Business. This was all about business. Was that why they’d taken Growl in? Because Growl had important information about the Vegas Camorra?

I wanted to run toward Growl but he didn’t seem to want that. Confusion filled me. I needed fresh air. I needed to think. I turned around and hurried back outside. I stopped when I reached a bench and sank down on it.

Aria joined me a few moments later. “You love him. Why don’t you show him?”

“Because he doesn’t love me. He can’t. This thing between us has no future.”

I wasn’t naïve enough to believe that Growl would change. If we stayed in New York and if he was allowed to work for Luca, there was only one job that he could do. He’d become one of Luca’s assassins. Too much had been broken in Growl when he watched his mother die and when he almost bled to death himself. I wanted to mend him but I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to recover all the broken pieces. Some of them might be lost forever.

“Why? If you love him there’s a way.”

“He’s…not good.”

Aria laughed softly. “Luca isn’t good either, but I love him with all my heart. You just have to allow yourself to love his good parts.”

I loved good parts and I loved his ugly parts, loved him more than I should.

He’d stolen my freedom, my life. And somehow along the way, without me realizing it, he’d also stolen my heart.

“He loves you. I don’t know exactly what Luca and Growl talked about when they first met yesterday, but I have a feeling that the only reason why Luca trusts Growl is because he realized that Growl loves you. And Luca knows what love can do to a person.” She paused. “Your sister mentioned that your mother doesn’t approve. But don’t let that stop you, if you really love him. My sister Gianna didn’t like Luca very much in the beginning either.”

I nodded to show her I’d listened, but I couldn’t say anything.Growl

Growl paced the corridor in front of Cara’s room. He wasn’t sure why he was waiting for her to show up. What was there left to talk about?

The moment she’d left for New York a few without him he’d known that this meant the end for them. The realization had been like a punch in the gut, the realization that she wouldn’t stay with him, a monster. No one would. She’d seemed to enjoy his company in the end, enjoyed his closeness and touch but he didn’t fool himself. Her affection for him had been born out of necessity. She’d had no choice. She couldn’t get away from him. But now everything had changed. In New York, Cara would be free to do as she pleased. No one was stopping her. Growl knew enough of Luca to know that the man wouldn’t support him in keeping Cara. And though it had taken a while for Growl to realize it, he didn’t want to have Cara as a possession. He wanted her to want to be with him. He knew that ridiculous notion meant he’d lose her altogether. She’d live her life without him. She’d find a new guy, a nice guy, someone who hadn’t caused her so many nightmares.

It was difficult for him to understand emotions, even and that would never change. But her expression just now made it clear even to him that she didn’t want him. Perhaps she’d pretended to tolerate him for her own sake and because she wanted him to help her revenge her father and kill Falcone. He couldn’t really blame her.