“No,” she said quietly. “Because I can see myself being okay with it.”
I regarded her face. “What’s wrong with that?” I knew what Luca was, what he was capable of. I knew he wouldn’t change and I didn’t want him to because I loved the man he was now.
“Are you okay with what Luca does? Don’t you ever lie awake at night feeling guilty for being married to a man like him?”
“We come from a family of men like him. Do you want me to feel guilty?”
“No. But normal people would feel guilty. Can’t you see how messed up we are? I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to spend my life with a man who carves up his enemies.”
Luca always claimed I was pure and innocent, but I wasn’t, not by normal standards.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you feel bad. I just…I know I have to risk it. I have to try to get away from all this and live a life without all the violence and messed-up morals. I’ll always regret it if I don’t.”
“You know you can’t ever come back. There’s no going back once you’ve run. Even if Matteo would forgive you for insulting him like that, the Outfit would be responsible for your punishment until your marriage. And running away from the mafia is betrayal.”
“I know.”
“The Outfit punishes betrayal with death. Because you aren’t a Made Man, they might decide to go easy on you and throw you into one of their whorehouses or marry you off to someone far worse than Matteo.”
“I know.”
I gripped Gianna’s shoulder because I didn’t think she did. “Do you really? Few people risk running from the mob and there’s a reason for it. Most people get caught.”
“Most people but not all of them.”
“Have you ever heard of someone who escaped the mob successfully?”
“No, but I doubt anyone would tell us about them. Neither Father, nor Matteo or Luca have any interest in putting ideas in our heads.”
I dropped my hands, sighing. “You are really determined to go through with this.”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” I said, because I knew there was nothing I could do to change Gianna’s mind and I didn’t want her to start keeping secrets from me. “You can’t do it alone. If you want any chance at succeeding you’ll need my help.”
“No,” she said. “I can do it on my own.”
“If I help you to run, I’ll betray the Famiglia and by doing so my husband,” I whispered. Luca would see it as betrayal. He’d been brought up with the conviction that his word would be law, that not following his command was betrayal.
“You are right. And I can’t let you take that risk.”
I took her hand. “No, I will help you. I’m your only choice. And if anyone can make it, then it’s you. You never wanted to be part of all this.”
“Aria, you said it yourself, what I’m doing is betrayal and the mob deals harshly with people who betray them. Luca isn’t the forgiving type.”
“Luca won’t hurt me.” Gianna looked doubtful but I knew those words to be true, and not just since he’d inked my words into his skin. “He won’t. If Salvatore Vitiello were still alive, things would be different. I’d have been under his jurisdiction, but Luca is Capo and he won’t punish me.”
“Maybe his men won’t leave him a choice. He’s a new Capo and if he looks weak, his men might revolt. Luca won’t risk his power, not even for you. The Famiglia comes first to Made Men.”
“Trust me,” I said.
“I trust you. It’s Luca whom I don’t trust.”
“And if you think about it, I wouldn’t really be betraying the Famiglia. You are still part of the Outfit until you marry Matteo. That means what I’m doing is a betrayal of the Outfit at most, but I’m not bound to them, so I can’t betray them.”
“Luca might not see it that way. Even if you aren’t betraying the Famiglia, you’re still going behind Luca’s back. Not to mention that Matteo will probably move Heaven and earth to find me.”
“True. He’ll hunt you.”
“He’ll eventually lose interest.”
Knowing Matteo’s obsession with my sister, I doubted it. “Perhaps. But I wouldn’t count on it. We have to make sure he can’t find you.”
“Aria, I shouldn’t have come to you with this. You can’t get involved.”
“Don’t try to talk me out of it. I’d feel guilty if I didn’t help you and you got caught,” I told her.
“And I will feel guilty if you get in trouble for helping me.”
“I’m helping you. End of story.”chapter 6One month later, LUCA“The Sphere is still going strong, but the Pergola is closing in. Despite the Russians trying to piss in our pond, we’re still making a shitload of cash with our clubs. And Pergola will be the hottest club in town next year, I can feel it,” Matteo said as he checked last month’s earnings from our dance clubs.