“The doctors are checking on her now.”
“I’m sure she and the baby will be fine.”
I gave a terse nod, not willing to show how much this unsettled me. Enzo nodded and turned around. I was glad to be alone, even if it gave me time for self-hatred once more. Soon Giovanni and Livia rushed down the corridor toward me. Val’s mother cried openly and Giovanni had to steady her with an arm around her shoulder. When they arrived at my side, Livia hugged me tightly. I touched her back. Giovanni gave me an apologetic smile. “How is she?” he asked.
“And what about the baby?” Livia pulled back but kept clutching my arms.
“I haven’t had a chance to talk to the doctors yet. They’re still treating Val.”
Livia sniffled. “God, I can’t bear the thought of our sweet Val losing her baby.”
“She won’t,” I said firmly.
Giovanni pried Livia away from me and pressed her to his side. “Everything will be fine, Livia.”
The door to the treatment room opened and one of the doctors stepped out followed by the second. They exchanged a look then one of them hurried off, leaving his colleague to deal with us. His expression made it obvious how reluctant he was.
“Is the baby okay?” Livia blurted before he could say something. Giovanni squeezed her shoulder in warning but she had eyes only for the doctor.
The doctor turned to me. “You’re her husband?”
“Yes, paint me the full picture. Don’t sugarcoat anything.”
He winced at my tone. “Your wife suffered a preterm rupture of membranes. She and the baby are well, but for it to stay that way she needs to rest as much as possible.”
Giovanni smiled at his wife, their relief blatant.
Once the doctor had given me clear instructions on how to proceed, he left.
“Go ahead,” Giovanni said. “I’m sure you and Val want some time to yourself.”
I stepped into the room. Val looked pale, but smiled softly at me. I promised myself to protect her and the baby at any cost, to work toward giving Val what she deserved.As expected, Val couldn’t go full term. Six weeks before the calculated due date, I took her to the hospital for a C-section. I’d made sure that only the best doctors and nurses were present. I wouldn’t allow anything to go wrong. It was almost eight weeks too early and even though the doctors assured me that Anna was in good health under the circumstances, I worried.
I clutched Val’s hand during the surgery and she held my gaze.
And then the first cry rang out. Val’s eyes widened and I squeezed her hand and kissed her knuckles.
A nurse came around with a small baby covered in blood and grime. So small and helpless. My daughter. Our daughter. It was difficult to grasp and yet a sensation I hadn’t thought possible washed through me: a feeling of arrival. As if in this moment I’d finally shaken off the shackles of the past and could really live in the present with my wife and daughter.
Val released me. “Go to our daughter. Go.”
Val was weak and needed my support as much as our daughter did. I needed to be there for them both from this day until I took my last breath. It would be the biggest challenge of my life.
After pressing a kiss to Val’s forehead, I stood and headed toward the nurse. I briefly glanced toward Val’s open belly and the amount of blood around it. The doctor lowered his eyes and continued his work.
I followed the nurse and watched as she measured Anna. She cried pitifully, her tiny arms flailing.
“She’s healthy. 16.7 inches and 3.83 pounds. Do you want to hold her?”
I nodded and then finally I held my daughter for the very first time. She was much smaller than any baby I’d ever held and it fired up my protectiveness. I stroked her cheek, marveling at my feelings toward this small human. How could love be born this quickly?
I glanced over to Val who watched with tearful eyes. My love for her hadn’t been born in a single heartbeat but it didn’t burn less fiercely I realized now. I walked over to Val and showed her our daughter.
“Anna,” Val said. “Your dad will always love you and keep you safe.”
Words lingered on my tongue, words I should have said before but again they got stuck in my throat. I kissed Anna then Val. “You and Anna, both.”
Val gave me a knowing smile. Maybe she did indeed realize that I loved her. One day I’d tell her. I only needed to shake off that tiny strand still anchoring me to my guilt, to my vow to Carla.I didn’t leave Valentina’s side until the next day when she’d recovered a bit from the surgery and her parents visited. Anna was in the ICU to make sure she got enough oxygen and was under surveillance 24/7. Val was determined to visit her today but her C-section wound would make this difficult.