My brain was a bit buzzed, but something had bothered me when it came to Cromwell being here, too.
“Isn’t it a little inappropriate that he’s here?” I asked curiously. “I mean, we’re his students. Why would he come here, specifically?”
He made a humming noise in his throat.
“Million-dollar question,” Luca said. “One I don’t have an answer to.”
Sighing in exasperation, I inhaled deeply, pulling Luca’s scent deep into my lungs.
When we’d made our grocery run, he’d made me buy him all of his usual products.
And now he smelled so much like his old self that at times I didn’t know whether I was in the past or the future when I closed my eyes.
God, it was just so good to have him there that sometimes I could cry.
Sometimes I did cry.
I let my hands sneak under the soft shirt again and run along his abdominal muscles.
They tightened and relaxed as he waited to see what I’d do next.
In answer to his silent challenge, I allowed my hand to slide down the length of his belly, coming to a stop along the elastic waistband of his athletic shorts.
“Did I tell you how much I like these shorts?” I asked him, teasing the length of his waistband with one finger.
“No.” He huffed out a laugh. “You didn’t say a word. Tell me now.”
I grinned wickedly at him, then snuck my finger underneath the tight elastic and ran my fingernail along his pubic hair.
“They make your dick look really big,” I said, whisper soft. “And I have come to find out that it’s one of my most favorite of your parts.”
He laughed at that.
“I’m happy to know that you enjoy my dick,” he admitted. “What I like even more is that you aren’t ashamed to admit it.”
“Never,” I said vehemently. “I’ll never be ashamed about anything when it comes to you.”
I felt butterflies swirl in my tummy at the way he reacted to that comment.
“I love you,” he said softly.
My inner Frankie screamed.
“You do?” I asked, sounding hopeful.
He nodded. “I’ve known it for a while now. But… over this last week? I’ve really come to find out that you not only mean the world to me, but that you think the world of me. I like having someone in my corner.”
I sat up until he was plastered against my front now.
“Luca,” I said softly. “You have no idea what you do to me.” I leaned closer to him. “And you would have more people in your corner if you’d only let them in.”
It was a challenge and he knew it.
“I’m worried,” he admitted. “Baby, I’m not the same person anymore. I don’t have any of their Luca’s memories. I don’t have any of that kid’s hopes and dreams. I don’t have anything left in here for them.”
He patted his chest, where his heart lay.
I dragged my fingers down his neck to rest at his collarbone.
The one that’d he’d broken so many times before.
“Did you know,” I said softly. “That when you were born, you got stuck, and they had to break your collarbone to get you out?”
Luca paused. “No.”
“Your mother told me about that day,” I said. “She told me how freakin’ scared she was. How hurt and confused, all she hoped for was that you were born, healthy and whole.”
He swallowed and leaned back against the door.
“Baby,” I said, crawling closer to him until I was practically on top of him. “The same thing is going to be the case here. They’re not going to care that you’re not the same little boy they raised. They’re just going to care that you’re healthy.”
He didn’t say anything for a long time, so I allowed myself to lay my head against his chest once again and just breathe him in.
His hand moved absently up and down my back, his fingers playing along my spine.
“I still have a hard time with you calling me Luca,” he said out of the blue. “If I have a hard time with that…what do you think I’m going to do when they start treating me like their son?”
“You are their son,” I said finally, once again looking at him. His face was a mask of indifference, but I knew there were a whirlwind of emotions pouring through him. “They’re going to treat you as such. But, baby, they’re allowed to. You. Are. Their. Son. They gave you life. And baby, trust me when I say, they’re going to be so happy.” I paused. “Do you want me to go back to calling you Riel?”
He looked petulant for a second before answering.
“Luca is okay,” he finally said. “It doesn’t feel utterly wrong, at least, when you call me that. It feels… okay.”
It feels okay.
I wondered if I should worry about his ‘okay’ but the look on his face told me not to broach that subject just yet.