My Bad (Bear Bottom Guardians MC 4)

“I…”

“Yes, yes! Fuck, yes!”

He froze mid-sentence.

“Uhhh,” he said. “What was that?”

I sighed. “Bluebird decided to join me in the bathroom today. Apparently, I might’ve allowed them to watch something that they shouldn’t have watched, and now he’s giving me a play by play of a soft porn.”

He snickered. That snicker turned into a guffaw moments later.

I loved watching him laugh. He was beautiful all the time, but when he laughed? It was like looking at pure happiness.

“How’s it going?” he asked, his eyes studying me hard.

I smiled, feeling a twinge of shame that I didn’t immediately blurt out that I was pregnant.

“Good,” I told him. “I haven’t seen Kelley at work in well over two weeks. They moved his office to the third floor, and I think they changed his times that he’s there. Oh! My sister is coming home in two weeks!”

His eyes lit up. “She’s in Germany, right?”

I nodded. “Yes. How far of a flight is it from here?”

Surely, as a military person, and a man, he’d know that…right?

He shrugged. “No idea. Long, though. Why do you ask?”

I sighed.

“She told me that I should come visit her,” I told him, going with a half-truth.

His eyes narrowed. “A visit to Germany? You don’t just ‘visit’ Germany.”

I felt my lips twitch at his concern. “I could ‘visit’ Germany.”

He growled, and I felt my lips tip up at the corners as I tried to stifle the laughter.

“You’re not going to Germany any time soon, are you?” he wondered.

“I’ll wait for a couple of months,” I hedged.

At least another eight. Hell, probably even more.

I couldn’t be traveling to fuckin’ Germany with a newborn, and there was no way in hell I’d be able to travel that far and long while I was pregnant.

I really needed to figure out how far along I was.

It was a minimum of fourteen weeks.

My hand automatically went to my belly as I cupped the obviously there bump.

My eyes went to the bump’s father, and I felt a twinge of guilt at not telling him.

“You’re not playing with yourself, are you?” he teased. “Your hands have been down there for a while.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “That’s your friend right there, isn’t it?”

He looked over his shoulder to find his friend, Carl, eating a piece of the beef jerky I’d sent them in the last care package. His eyes were on his phone, but the grin told me that he’d heard exactly what Hoax had said.

“Maybe,” Hoax lied. “If you weren’t doing that, what were you doing?”

I shook my head.

I should tell him. I really, really should.

But shit. I was scared. We were so fucking new, and I wanted him to love me and not leave. He might leave. He might decide that I was too much—that we were too much—and high-knee it straight the hell out the door.

But, if I was being truthful, I wasn’t giving Hoax enough credit.

Though we’d never discussed children before, I knew that he liked them. He held Rome’s daughter, Astrid, at the party that’d been thrown in his honor. He’d looked like he’d adored the hell out of her.

I wasn’t giving him the credit he was due.

He wouldn’t leave.

Which might’ve also been a part of my hesitation in telling him.

I wanted him to want me for me, not for the baby that was inside of me.

He’d told me he loved me, but we’d discussed nothing of our future other than the fact that I’d wait for him to get back.

He hadn’t asked to move into my house. He hadn’t offered up anything more than what he’d said at the airport before he’d left.

I was also overthinking the hell out of everything.

I could tell him right now, and he’d probably be ecstatic.

An idea struck me then.

I’d tell him…and he’d have to put the clues together to figure out what it was that I was telling him. That way, I wasn’t lying, but I also wasn’t straight out telling him, either.

That could work, couldn’t it?

“I was soaping myself up,” I lied.

“Let me see your hands,” he ordered.

I held them up. There wasn’t a soap bubble in sight.

His eyes narrowed. “You’re so full of…shit. I gotta go.” He looked at something over his shoulder that wasn’t his friend. “Love you, baby.”

Then he was gone.

I sighed and rinsed out my hair, soaped up really fast, and tried not to think about whatever it was that’d taken him away from me so abruptly.

The moment I was out of the shower, I called my sister back.

She frowned when she saw my face. “What’s wrong?”

I turned to the side and examined myself in the mirror.

“I’m not going to be able to keep this a secret for much longer,” I told her. “I’m going to have to tell him.”

“How?” she asked. “Just blurt it out?”

“I’ll show you.”

I walked into my bedroom, ignoring the bird and the pig that were pissed that they’d been locked out, and headed to my desktop computer.