Plus, there would be a baby shower there and I just didn’t do well with explosions of baby shit.
Grabbing one side, we both moved the smoker to the back of the Tahoe before I crawled inside and unhooked Way’s car seat.
I ignored the mountainous mound of crumbs underneath her seat, and folded the entire seat forward to allow the smoker some room to sit.
Once we were done I turned to Max. “You think you can drive, too? I’ll meet the rest of you there after I drop the smoker off at my house.”
Max nodded, and I headed back to Lennox for one more kiss.
I found her on her knees in the dirt.
“Lennox Jane Alvarez, swear to God!” I growled, coming up behind her.
She threw some dirt to the side, hitting my foot as she asked, “What?”
“If you overexert yourself and go into labor, I swear to God I’ll spank your ass until you can’t sit down,” I growled.
She snorted. “You could try.”
I just shook my head, knowing this wasn’t a fight I could win.
“Did you check your blood sugar?” I asked.
I could hear her growl of annoyance at my question.
I asked it a lot.
Sometimes too much.
But I liked the effect it had on her.
“Yes,” she hissed.
“Give me a kiss, wench. I’ll be back in time for Way to go to bed, okay?” I asked, bending down.
She got up onto her knees and offered me her upturned lips, which I took without hesitation.
“I fucking love you, asshole,” she said, smiling up at me.
I grinned. “I fucking love you too, witch.”
She winked, knowing I wanted to call her something else, but also very aware of the fact that I wouldn’t say something like that in front of Way or my mother.
I touched my lips to my mother as I moved off, and said, “Take care of her.”
She gave me a droll look. “And when have I not?”
I scrunched my nose up at her, and finally caught Way, who was being chased around by Reagan seeing as Way had stolen Reagan’s iPod cord that she was using to charge it.
“Give me a kiss, heathens, so I can go,” I said, bringing Way’s belly up to my mouth so I could blow a raspberry on it.
She squealed, and I tossed her over to my father who caught her effortlessly.
Reagan was next, and I gathered her into my arms and gave her the same directions I gave my mother. “Take care of Nox for me, okay?”
She rolled her eyes. “Mom can take care of herself, but I’ll keep an eye on her and let you know if she overexerts herself, okay?”
Knowing that would be as good as it got, I gave Max a wave, and headed out to the house.
But it was only fifteen minutes into my trip home that I realized that I wasn’t alone in the car.
In fact, the longer I thought about it, the more convinced I was that I felt something slithering around at my feet.
“Fuck me,” I breathed, pulling the SUV over without making any sudden moves.
I about bit a hole in my tongue as I slowly eased the door open, and bailed.
Somehow I managed to look back as my feet hit the pavement, only to see a long rattle tipped tail ease back under the seat of my Tahoe.
“Holy fuck,” I breathed, after I realized I’d nearly just died.
Then I cursed myself when I realized that not only had I left my phone in the truck, but my sidearm as well.
Lennox may very well kill me for shooting her car up, but there was no way in hell that I’d get back into the SUV without being assured that the fucker was dead.
So there I stood, for fifteen minutes, as I opened every single door, and backed away to wait.
Downy and Luke rolled up five minutes later, and they were looking at me like I was fucking possessed.
“What the fuck man?” Downy asked, stepping out of Luke’s truck.
I nodded my head to the Tahoe. “There’s a fucking rattlesnake in the Tahoe.”
“Seriously?” Luke asked with a raised brow.
I nodded. “Lennox made me take the old smoker out of my parent’s flower bed. It’s in the back of the Tahoe; it must’ve been where it came from.”
Luke, ever curious, made his way to the open door to the Tahoe, took one glance in the backseat, and back pedaled like his dick was grabbed.
“Holy fucking shit, that thing’s massive!”
Then, like horrible fucking timing, none other than the rest of the Motley Crew pulled up, and they all piled out of Max’s Suburban.
“What’s up?” Max asked, easing up to the side of us without getting out.
I nodded my head towards my Tahoe. “There was a snake in the smoker.”
Max blinked. “Not shit?”
“No shit,” I confirmed.
“Well, what’re you going to do now?” He asked.
“Not a fucking clue,” I admitted.
So, one by one, the lot of us got out and tried to see the snake, which had taken up against the baby’s car seat that I’d tossed into the front seat.
“Shoot it,” Michael muttered.
“Grab the top of the car seat and pull the fucker out with it,” Sam suggested.
“Your phone’s ringing,” James said, stating the obvious.
“Maverick calling,” my Tahoe announced to me.
I reached in and pressed the phone button on the steering wheel, knowing I wouldn’t get too close to the snake, which meant getting anywhere near my actual phone wasn’t gonna happen.
“Hello?” I asked warily.
This was all her fault!
“Umm,” Lennox said. “I might, or might not have, over done it. And I’m currently standing in a puddle of my water that just broke.”
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as terror gripped me in its claws.
“Get my dad to take you to the hospital,” I said quickly.
“I can’t. Your dad has cloth seats. We have leather. Come back and get me,” she said urgently.
I cleared my throat. “There’s no can do on ours. There’s a snake in there, and there’s no way I’m getting it out by myself.”
She was silent for a few moments before she started giggling. “I’m sorry.”