I feel the impact of it with him. I feel him jolt, feel the breath forced from him.
And I take the gun from his hand and shoot Catalano, emptying it in him, sending him backward, drumming bullets into his stomach until the pistol clicks, empty and useless. Until there are no bullets and the only sound is that of my screaming as I drop to my knees with Rafa in my arms.
Rafa’s body limp in my arms.
“Fuck. Rafa. Don’t…”
“Brothers. Who knew?” he says, giving me that goofy smile one last time. One last fucking time before his eyes close.
“Rafa. No. Fuck. Don’t fucking die! God, please…”
I hold him and rock with him and I think this is worse than when I found out Antonio had died. When I saw Antonio’s body.
I think this is somehow sadder. Can you rate death as sad or sadder or saddest? It’s wrong.
All the loss. All the fucking loss.
And for what?
His lips are open, breath shallow as his chest barely rises and falls.
Gabriela crawls to me, and I see she’s crying too, pushing Rafa’s bloodied hair from his face, and he looks so young. Like a kid almost. Like he used to.
I think about how sorry I am as sirens wail in the background. I think about how much I’m going to miss him.
“Hold on, brother. Hold the fuck on.”
35
Stefan
Any luck I’ve ever had has been bad.
But that night in the warehouse, that luck finally took a turn. Or maybe there is a God. And maybe he heard me. Because I’m sitting beside Rafa’s hospital bed holding a fucking cup to his mouth as he drinks water from a straw and I’m so fucking grateful. I am so fucking grateful.
“You look like shit, you know that?” he says to me.
I set the cup aside and smile. It’s been almost a week since the shooting. I haven’t left the hospital since we got here so yeah, I probably look like shit.
“Pot calling the kettle black,” I say. And what I feel, it’s elation. All that’s happened, what he did…all I can think is that he’s alive. He’s alive. “I’m going to beat the shit out of you when you get out of here.”
A shadow crosses his features just as the door opens and we both turn to find Gabriela walk inside.
I stand, smile at her, wrap my arm around her waist. She has some scratches, some bumps, but she’s fine. Again, I’m grateful.
“How do you feel?” she asks Rafa.
“Pain killers are doing their work,” he says.
He was badly injured. The bullet his father put in him missed his heart by a hair or this would be much worse. That wasn’t the only bullet he took but it was the worst.
She touches the bandage on his face. “Girls like scars, right?” He’ll have one across his right cheek, a constant reminder of how close he came to death.
He doesn’t smile. “I’m sorry,” he says, looking from her to me. “I’m sorry for all of it. I knew better and I’m sorry.”
My throat tightens.
Gabriela pushes hair off Rafa’s face then leans down to kiss his forehead and whispers something to him. She straightens, turns to me and slides her hands into mine.
“I’ll wait for you outside. You need to come home with me Stefan.”
I nod, squeeze her hands. I don’t watch her go.
Rafa stares up at me.
“You almost died,” I say, sitting back down.
“I deserved to die. Part of me wanted to. I betrayed you, Stefan. And all you’ve ever been is a brother to me. Blood or not.”
“You took a bullet for me. That’s what I know,” I pause, consider what I’m about to say. It may be the thing to seal his fate. “I do have one question for you.”
The way he looks at me, it’s like he knows what I’m going to ask before I ask it. Knows the importance of his answer.
“Did you know they’d put Gabriela at the bottom of that well?”
His face contorts, eyes wet as he shakes his head. “No. I didn’t know they’d do that to her. Believe it or not, I never wanted her hurt.”
I do believe it. Maybe it’s stupid of me, but I do.
The door opens again and Gabriela peers inside. “The car’s here.”
I nod, stand and when Rafa’s hand closes over mine, I see on his face the pain it costs him.
I close my other hand over his and I look at him and think about what he’s lost too. And I know myself. I don’t forgive easily. And I never forget. But I want to.
“Get better, brother.”
Epilogue 1
Stefan
It’s been three months since everything.
For three months, I haven’t let Gabriela out of my sight. For three months, I’ve woken in the night to look at her. To touch her. To feel her beside me. To know she’s there. To know she’s real.