He rolled his eyes. “Fine.”
Feeling irrationally victorious, even over such a little thing, she grinned again. “Let’s walk on the beach.”
He was shaking his head as they walked down to the boardwalk and then onto the warm sand. She had to take off her heels and carry them, which was a little awkward with her slush, but she managed.
They didn’t talk as they moved down to the damp sand that was easier to walk on, but she liked Jake’s presence beside her. He felt strong. Solid. Really there.
She tried not to think about what it would be like two weeks from now, when he wouldn’t be there anymore.
It hurt so much she couldn’t breathe for a moment, but she pushed through it until her mind was clear again.
“I didn’t know you were dating someone,” Jake said out of blue.
She was so surprised she stopped walking to stare. “What?”
He looked slightly uncomfortable, but he repeated, “I didn’t know you were dating anyone.”
“I’m not.”
“Oh.” He frowned. “You said you had a date tonight.”
She realized then where the topic had come from. She wasn’t in the habit of talking to Jake about her dating life, but there was no reason not to tell him the truth. As she started walking again, she explained, “It was a first date. I haven’t even met the guy yet.”
“Oh.” His tone sounded different now, and his eyes were on the horizon. “Sorry you had to postpone.”
She shrugged. “No big deal.”
She wished she hadn’t even brought it up earlier that day. She’d just been so frustrated with Jake in general that she hadn’t guarded her words as much as she should have.
Her personal life shouldn’t get in the way of work. Not even her feelings should. She’d always made sure they didn’t.
They walked in silence for a few minutes until she stopped again when she saw a lone surfer in the distance on the water. He was obviously a newbie, since he got himself upright for just a few seconds before he wiped out.
“Poor guy,” she murmured, watching as he ended up in the water a second time.
“He’ll get it.”
She turned to look at Jake’s face and surprised an expression there that almost looked like hunger. Before she could think through the wisdom of the question, she heard herself asking, “Do you think you’ll ever surf again?”
His whole body stiffened as he turned his head to meet her eyes. “You know I can’t—”
“I know you can’t surf professionally anymore. But the doctor never said you can’t get on a surfboard again. Surely you could surf now and then, just for fun.”
As far as she knew, he hadn’t gotten out in the water in ten years.
He looked back to the surfer, who was paddling toward his board. “Why bother?”
“For fun? For enjoyment? You loved it, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.” He let out a long sigh. “I did.”
She watched his expression for a minute, suddenly realizing something new about him.
He didn’t want to give himself to surfing again—in any way—since it had already been taken away from him once.
“I know it was really hard,” she murmured, feeling like she needed to respond to her revelation somehow. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t have anything now.”
Her words were soft, strangely gentle, even to her own ears, and she was suddenly afraid that they revealed too much.
Especially when he stared at her in naked surprise for a moment.
She swallowed hard and glanced away.
Jake cleared his throat and started walking back the way they’d come.
When she fell in step with him, he replied to her earlier comment, “I know it doesn’t mean I can’t have anything. I’ve got the business, right?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t also—”
“I don’t want to surf anymore, Anne. I don’t want to do it.” His voice was low, guttural.
“Okay.” She took a deep breath and focused her eyes on her bare feet stepping on the sand. “Okay.”
She knew he wasn’t telling her the truth. Or not the whole truth anyway. But there was no reason to expect him to.