It startled her so much that she was jarred awake. She sat up in bed, vaguely surprised that she was still wearing his white t-shirt.
It was morning. Light was coming through the windows, and the clock said it was just after six o’clock.
They had a meeting with Stew at eight. She could hardly believe this morning she would have to go back to being Jake’s assistant.
And where the hell had he gone?
The bathroom door was opened, so he was clearly not in there. She glanced down and saw his clothes were no longer littering the floor.
He must have gone back to his room.
She sighed, telling herself to be reasonable.
What did she expect, anyway? It wasn’t like one night was going to change everything she knew was true about the world.
Jake wasn’t in love with her. They weren’t going to miraculously become a couple, just because they’d shared one night.
People had sex all the time, when it meant absolutely nothing.
But she felt glum, heavy, like she might cry as she thought about how he’d acted last night—as if he’d wanted her for real, maybe not even just her body.
He’d left her this morning, though, without a word.
In an hour, she’d be dressed for work, and she’d head downstairs to have some breakfast and get ready for the meeting.
He’d be her boss again.
That was all he’d ever be to her.
It hurt so much she shook with it, but she pulled herself together quickly. She wasn’t a child. She could do this. She could be an adult and a professional.
She could be his assistant for two more weeks, even if he never mentioned what happened between them again.
She got up, stumbling slightly since she was still sore between her legs. It made her feel even worse, since it reminded her of how hard he’d taken her last night.
She was heading for the bathroom when she saw he’d left his leather portfolio that held the yellow pad he always took notes on.
She sighed, flipping it open to look at the notes scrawled in his handwriting.
She was surprised to see her resignation letter tucked under the flap. And even more surprised when she read the notes he’d scrawled on the first page of the pad.
It was a job description. Some sort of marketing position.
She knew immediately what it was.
It was a job for her.
When she’d already told him very clearly there was no job she would take from him.
When both of them knew, if she was working for him, there was no way in the world they could be together.
It was inevitable, though. If she’d let herself think about it, even last night, she would have known it was coming.
Jake might have given himself one night to let go, but work would always be the most important thing to him. It was the only thing he was willing to invest in.
He wanted her for work more than he did for herself.
Her eyes blurred over as she stared down at his messy handwriting, trying to tell herself it didn’t change anything.
Things were exactly the way they’d been just a minute ago, when she’d resolved to do her job and not take one night so seriously.
But it was serious to her. Jake was serious to her.
And there was absolutely no way she could face him this morning—or any other morning—as nothing more than his assistant.
She wasn’t that mature. She wasn’t that reasonable.
She was heartbroken—and even more so because she’d done it to herself.
Her mind wasn’t working at all, so she had only instinct to act on. And the only instinct she had at the moment was to flee. So she followed it. Without hesitation, she pulled on some clothes and stuffed her belongings back into her bag.
She was ready to go in less than ten minutes. She couldn’t find her key card so she just grabbed her purse and left the room.
Jake would have to do without an assistant for his meeting this morning. He would get by. He would have to.
And she would learn to get by too.
***
A few hours later, she’d made it to the apartment she shared with Meg and Raney. She’d taken a cab to get a rental car, and then she’d driven the rental back to Malibu.
She’d cried most of the way back, but she didn’t regret leaving.
It would have been impossible for her to act like nothing had changed, when everything had changed.
Jake had learned to compartmentalize his life to deal with the blow of losing his surfing career. But she didn’t know how to compartmentalize. Her feelings for Jake affected everything.