I braced my hands against the stage in relief. Two steps from the stage, I visualized myself throwing my fist at every leering face.
I swung around and pushed back through the cloud of sweat and beer breath. My gaze swept the room and landed on the white blonde hair under the neon green bar sign. Shay was filling beers behind the counter.
I texted Jack. "Hey fuckface, you didn't tell me she was tending bar."
"Oh didn't I?" he wrote back. "I ate your tacos, by the way."
I shoved the phone into my pocket. With the crowd at the bar, Shay was too busy to look around the barroom. It seemed she hadn't seen me yet, or if she had, she was deftly ignoring me. Rocky was still working at the opposite end of the counter.
I headed up to the bar and managed to push my way up to the counter. Shay was occupied filling a drink order and hadn't noticed me walk up, which gave me a few minutes to watch her and take in every familiar nose crinkle and half smile as she worked.
She walked to the place at the counter where I stood. She never lifted her long lashes as she leaned down to grab a bottle of rum from under the counter. She straightened and her brown eyes swept past my face.
She froze before turning back to me. "Nash."
"I was trying to figure out exactly when it happened, when the woman stole my heart. Was it the way she smiled even though she was living in her car and working in a dive? Was it that day when I watched her in the shower, the most erotic fucking thing I've ever experienced and I never even touched her. Was it the way she could down a hamburger like a lumberjack? Or was it when she took hold of my hand at the funeral because more than anything at that moment I needed to feel her touch?"
Shay's eyes were glassy as she stared at me, seemingly speechless.
"I love you, Shay. I want you in my life, but I understand if you don't want me in yours. I promise I won't bother you here again. You know where to find me."
As I headed out, my heart pounded as I listened over the clamor of the crowd, hoping to hear that deep, sultry voice say my name. But I never heard it. I walked out to the parking lot and climbed into the jeep. I glanced back at the bar one time, hoping to hell I'd see her standing there at the door, waving me down, running toward me, ready to throw herself into my arms. But why would she? As many reasons as she gave me to fall in love with her, I gave her no reason at all to love me. I was raised for the sole purpose of making money. My dad could be proud. Just like everything else he did, his project, David Nash Junior, had turned out exactly as he planned.
34
The weather was perfect, but it didn't help my mood. Once I'd hit the sand and started my run, my feet just rammed ahead on their own. I needed to clear my thoughts. I wasn't sorry that I'd taken one last chance to get Shay back into my life. Now, at least, I knew that the attraction and admiration was only coming from one side, my side. I'd at least had the opportunity to help her financially, even though it was hardly enough. She had transformed me into a different person. She'd opened up a piece of my soul that I was sure had been erased by my harsh childhood. A hundred grand was not enough.
I pulled off my shirt and wiped my chest and face with it as I climbed the stairs to the house. As I slid open the door and walked inside, a small sound came from the kitchen.
Shay stepped around the corner dressed in a teal blue lace body suit that was cut high up the hips and low on the cleavage. She was sipping a soda. "Hope you don't mind I let myself in. I remembered the pass code."
I could hardly hear her over the pounding in my chest.
Shay put the soda down on the counter. "You paid for my grandmother's hospital care."
"I owed you money. I had no other way to repay you."
She shrugged. "You still owe me nine hundred thousand. But I guess you can pay me back a dollar a day for the next nine hundred thousand days."
"Fuck. You're real. You're standing here."
"Did you think I was a mirage?"
"Something like that," I said as I closed the gap between us.
I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. As she melted against me, I groaned, thinking how badly I'd been wanting exactly that—Shay supple and willing in my arms letting me know she was mine.
I lifted my mouth from hers. She peered up at me.
"Maybe you haven't changed me as much as I thought because I'm thinking of about a hundred ways I want to fuck you in that lacy lingerie."
The sexy line on the side of her mouth appeared. "Oh really? Well, let's start with number one and go from there." She threw her arms around my neck and wrapped herself around me as I carried her to the bedroom.
I placed her feet on the floor and reached into the nightstand for a condom. "I'm sweaty from a run. Should I shower?"