Slipping his hands into the pockets of his slacks, he takes a step toward me. “Do you not want to live with me?”
I blink. “I mean, I’d definitely consider it. Yeah. But we’ve never really talked about it before.”
“What if I want to treat y’all? I have money, Julia. I work hard to be able to afford stuff like this. Let me treat you. Buying this house—having you move in with me—it’s my way of contributing. My way of making you feel safe and taken care of.”
I take a sharp breath. My eyes prick with tears. Shit.
Shit shit shit.
“I love how safe you make me feel,” I say. “But you can take care of me by showing up. You’d make me feel taken care of if you helped me with the registry. If you did the research and read those books you promised you would. I needed you this morning, Greyson. I’m going to need you to be around when this baby comes. More than I’ll ever need a house like this.”
His brows curve upward.
“Please don’t cry,” he says, taking his hands out of his pockets. “I just—this is all I know, baby. This is what I do. I provide. I’m really good at it.”
“You are. I see how you look after Ford. I see that you want to take care of Bryce. But I think you and I have different opinions about what being an equal partner means. This”—I motion to the house—“isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted you to contribute. I’ve told you many times that I’m perfectly capable of providing for myself. This baby, too. Of course your financial contribution is an important piece of the co-parenting puzzle. But so is showing up. And you’re not doing that enough, Grey.”
“I disagree,” he says. “How is this not showing up? I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find this place. Real estate in this town is a tricky endeavor—it’s tough finding just the right spot. I’m putting in the time, Julia. Just in my own way.”
My frustration gathers in a lump in my throat. “You’re not listening.”
“And neither are you!” he says, throwing up his arms. “I have a plan here. It’s not like I’m flying by the seat of my pants. I’m intentional in all that I do, especially when it comes to you and the baby. I think about y’all all the time. This house is exhibit A. The yard, the space. The location. We’d be close to family and friends—the people who are going to help us out the most when Charlie Brown comes. Why can’t you see that?”
“Why can’t you see that there’s got to be a balance? This house…”
He looks at me. “What? What about this house I spent months searching for?”
Swallowing, I say, “I appreciate the effort, Grey. But it’s not my dream house. Not by a long shot. If you were listening, you’d know that. It’s too new. Too perfect. And way too big. I imagine you’d have to keep working like you do now to afford it. Working all the time, I mean. Yeah, we’d have this big fabulous family home, but we’d never see you. You wouldn’t be around to help, which would mean most of the work of raising this kid would fall on my lap. It’s already happening, and it’s not fair. I work too. I want to keep working—I love my job. But if you don’t start showing up, my life is going to turn into a living hell once this baby comes. I’ll be stuck trying to do it all. All by myself. All the time. I want you around more, Grey. I need you. I love you, and I love spending time with you. But you made me a promise, and if you can’t keep it…”
Greyson takes another step forward.
“What am I supposed to do, Julia? You know full well I don’t work a typical nine to five job. To be honest, I don’t think you’d be into me if I did.”
“Ouch.” I pull back, stung. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re not interested in normal. You’re bored by the usual. You’re passionate and fiery and different, and you’re drawn to other people who are the same. My passion is my work. Does it take up a lot of my time? Yes. But I love my job, too. I worked really fucking hard to get where I am. I can’t just walk away. Not after I’ve come so far.”
“You’ve come so far,” I reply steadily. “How much further do you need to go? What are you trying to prove, Grey? What are you really trying to buy here?”
He pulls back, pink creeping up his neck onto his face. “What do I want to buy? I want to buy you a house that has a yard with enough room for a swing set. A house that our family can grow into. That’s what. Total dick move, I know.”