Tears are spilling out of my eyes left and right, slipping down my neck onto the coverlet. I take another swig of wine.
“I can’t just leave my life in New York.”
Julia is still looking at me. “Why the fuck not?”
“I’ll break Ted’s heart,” I reply hotly. “I’ll break everyone’s heart.”
“You’re going to break your own heart if you go back to him.”
I know she’s right. But part of me would rather break my own heart than disappoint the people I love.
I wrap my hand around Julia’s.
“I don’t know if I’m brave enough,” I whisper.
“You don’t have to do it alone,” she replies. “We can figure it out together. But you have to be the one to actually make the call.”
I nod. Swallow again.
“Just think about it,” Julia says. “You still have time. Hey, it could be worse. You could be me—addicted to turkey clubs and masturbating nonstop because you can’t find a real penis you’re even remotely interested in.”
That makes me laugh. I put my head on Julia’s shoulder.
“We’ll figure it out together,” I repeat.
She grins tightly. “I know we will. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me too,” I say.
And even though coming to Charleston could very well be the impetus for blowing up my life, I mean it.Chapter FourteenOliviaI wake up with a heavy head and a heart that aches. Part of me is still on a high from the near perfect day I had yesterday. And part of me is hitting a low now that I’m realizing I need to make some hard choices if I want to fix what’s wrong with my life.
I’m almost afraid to check my doorstep for Eli’s edits. His awesomeness is not making my thought process any easier. If I hadn’t met him, maybe I wouldn’t be so twisted up inside. Maybe I’d never know what I was missing out on.
If I hadn’t met him, it’d be easy to go back to New York and pick up right where I left off. But now that choice is much more difficult.
I don’t know whether to be angry or grateful.
I grip the doorknob, heart pounding. Please, I silently plead. Although I have no clue what I’m pleading for. Please let the doorstep be empty? Please let Eli be there so I can yank him inside and tear off his clothes and rub up against him for the rest of the day?
Taking a deep breath, I open the door. I find the edited chapter on the mat, a Post-It stuck to the corner.
On top of the pages, wrapped neatly in tin foil, is this perfect mini veggie quiche.
Clearly my cooking worked some magic on your muse, a sticky note says. Loved this chapter even more than the first. Keep eating. Keep writing. Give me a ring at 843-234-8769 if you have any questions—E
Butterflies take flight in my stomach. I suddenly feel achy not just in my chest, but all over.
A good, delicious kind of ache.
I look up. Look around. I don’t want to see Eli. Seeing him will just make me want him more. And I’m not sure I’m ready to have him. I just have this feeling—this strong sense in my gut that being with Eli will change everything. And I don’t know if I’m brave enough to embrace that change.
What if it causes a domino effect? What if I not only leave Ted, but I end up leaving my job, too? My parents? I’d be burning my entire life to the ground.
I look down at the edited pages in my hand. Something about his careful block script makes my stomach do a somersault.
Eli may be dangerous. But I do have to thank him for this. He’s a busy guy. It’s incredibly generous of him to take the time to edit my romance and make breakfast for me.
I go inside and dial his number.
He picks up on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“H-hi. Eli? It’s me. Olivia.”
“Yankee girl!” he says, the excitement in his tone radiating through my breastbone. “You get the quiche?”
I grin.
“I did. Thank you. Very much. You really don’t have to keep making me breakfast.”
“I want to make you breakfast. Gotta fuel you up so you can get through chapter three today.”
“You’re relentless,” I say, biting my lip. “You know that?”
“I know.” A pause. “How’re you feelin’ today?”
Confused. Terrified.
Joyful.
“I’m all right,” I manage. “You?”
“Tired. You been keepin’ me up late, Olivia, with these chapters of yours.”
“Seriously, you don’t have—”
“I want to. You gotta let me help you. I’m enjoying it. Truly. It’s nice to use another part of my brain once in a while.”
Oh, God, if there was ever a time when I thought my heart would literally burst, it’s right now.
“Then let me help you,” I say. “I know you work crazy hours. Can I maybe walk Billy for you? Hang out with him a bit during the day?”