“False,” she said quickly, rolling onto her side. She propped her head up, elbow on the windshield and hand cradling her cheek. “It’s more than just loving the game and you know it. You’re talented. You see things that others don’t. You know a player’s weakness before they do, and what’s more, you know how to conquer it. You command respect, and you know what to say when they’re down and defeated and what to say to keep them focused when they’re on a high, too. You make tough decisions when it comes to who to play where and when to take someone out, and you don’t apologize for anything — not even when you lose — because you know you have a plan, and you believe in it.”
I let my head fall to the side until my eyes met hers, and I swore I’d never felt so exposed in my life. I’d been given compliments on my coaching before, but no one had ever put it into words the way she just had.
“They’re like family to me,” I told her. “Not just the players we have now, but any player who I work with.” I paused, wetting my lips as I tried to find the words to explain. “I’ve always wanted to coach, and I got started as soon as I could after high school. I wanted to make a difference — not just for our school and football, but for these boys — individually, you know? We’re in a small town, and some of these kids don’t exactly have the best role models at home. I want to be there for them to remind them what they are capable of, what they have inside them, to push them when they need to be pushed and encourage them when they need to be encouraged. And to tell them I’m proud of them,” I added. “Because I might be the only one they ever hear it from.”
Her eyes softened, brows folding together.
“But as much as I want to make a difference, I’m also fucking terrified of messing it all up — of messing them up.”
“You have no reason to be scared,” she assured me. “You’re the best coach I’ve ever known.”
“How many have you known?”
“That’s not the point.”
I chuckled, letting my eyes wander back up to the sky. “What about you?” I asked. “How did you end up in athletic training?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” she said quickly. “I love bodies.”
I snorted.
“No, but really, I have always had an interest in the way we push ourselves as humans, especially in sports. I knew I had an interest in anatomy and the medical side of things, but I didn’t really want to be a doctor, you know? So, when I went to college, I focused on sports medicine and fell in love.”
She paused, and I turned toward her again, sobering a little at the distant look in her eyes.
“When I was finishing my master’s, a small junior college baseball team asked me to come on as their trainer. Fresh out of school.” She smiled, but her eyes were sad. “I couldn’t believe it. But it was the first time in my life that I felt like everything I’d done was right, like it had all led to that moment.”
“That’s amazing, Sydney,” I said earnestly. Principal Hanley had told me a little about her background, about her previous offers to work with a college-level team, but this was the first time I heard it from her.
She swallowed. “Yeah, well… I never accepted the job, so…”
“Why not?”
Sydney’s eyes found mine, and she shrugged with the smallest, most innocent smile on her face. “I got pregnant.”
My heart squeezed.
Part of me considered reaching over to grab her hand, or pull her into me, to hold her and let her know I understood. But the truth was I didn’t. I didn’t know what it was like to have a child, to give birth to another human, to have something happen like that where every priority in life shifted.
“They said they’d wait,” she continued, her voice soft. “They said when I had Paige, I could come work for them whenever I was ready. They’d hold the spot. Do you know how unheard of that is?” Her eyes welled with tears. “But Randy insisted we get married, and what I didn’t realize was that when I agreed to be his wife, I also agreed to live by his rules.”
My face hardened. I didn’t know a thing about Randy other than what he did for a living, but in that moment, watching the look in her eyes… I knew he’d hurt her.
That was enough for me to be pissed.
“That’s bullshit,” I said after a moment. “That’s not how marriage is supposed to work.”
“It was how it worked in his eyes,” she said, sniffling. “And I was so young… so afraid. I was going to be a mother and I could barely take care of myself, you know? But Randy was there, saying he could take care of everything. I could just focus on Paige, be a mom, and he would take care of us both. And I loved him, and it all sounded so nice,” she admitted, and then she bit her lip and let out a bitter laugh. “And it was. Until it was hell.”