“First of all, Paige is not baggage. If anything, she adds to your hot factor because she’s adorable and sassy and fun,” Gabby said, and I could picture her holding up her stiletto-nailed fingers as she counted off. “And secondly, you are a catch. Your dumbass ex-husband is in your past, and he has no effect on who you are now.”
I sighed, flopping down into one of the lounge chairs that was usually in the sun. Today was an overcast day, though, as fall as it could feel, and I wrapped myself up in my long cardigan sweater against the cool morning air. “Maybe it’s me who’s scared,” I admitted. “Maybe the thought of opening myself up to a man again makes me shrink in terror.”
“That breaks my heart, sis.”
I shrugged, though she couldn’t see me. “It’s true.”
A long silence passed between us before Gabby spoke again. “Well, I hope that one day you open yourself up to the possibility of letting yourself be happy again. But, if this is really how you feel, then I say keep it casual. Have the conversation with Jordan and let him know where you’re at.”
“Casual…” I repeated, testing the word on my lips. “As in, a booty call, a hookup, a friend with benefits that no one knows about.”
“Exactly.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Why does that make me feel dirty?”
At that, Gabby barked out a laugh. “Welcome to the modern world of dating, where no one is happy and everyone pretends to be fine with no strings attached.”
My stomach soured, but I didn’t know what other option there was. Jordan couldn’t possibly want something serious with me, and even if he did, we couldn’t possibly be serious. We worked together, I had a kid, and my ex was a psycho.
Three strikes, as they say.
“You also don’t have to make any decisions right now,” Gabby added. “You know?”
“Yeah…” I agreed, but my chest tightened as if to say you better make some decisions before we have a panic attack, bitch.
Suddenly, Paige jumped up from the couch inside and ran to the front door, voice loud and boisterous as she greeted Jordan. He was smiling down at her, giving her a high five for something she was telling him.
In the other hand, he held a bouquet of flowers.
“Shit…”
“What?” Gabby asked.
“Jordan just got here. He’s working with Paige today.”
“Yeah… you told me that. But why the curse word?”
“He brought flowers.”
“Shit…”
We were both silent for a moment, and Jordan’s eyes found mine through the window. The way the sunlight shined through the thick clouds that day illuminated those blue eyes of his, and the brown around his iris looked almost gold.
He crooked a sideways smile, and I melted.
“Wish me luck,” I told her, and as soon as she did, I ended the call.
“… and I’ve been working on kicking. I really like it, actually. I always thought I wanted to be a quarterback, but you know, so many games come down to whether or not the kicker can make a field goal or an extra point, you know? And I was just thinking, man, I’d love to be that person who wins for my team.”
Paige was still rambling on as she and Jordan joined me in the backyard, Paige circling Jordan with a football in her hand, hair a wild mess.
“I think you’d make a great kicker,” he said, listening attentively.
“Really?”
He nodded. “We can work on more drills that will help you get strength and accuracy today. Sound good?”
“Yeah!”
He smiled, but then his gaze was on me, and the heat that came from it had me sweating instantly.
“Paige, why don’t you run inside and braid your hair,” I said with my eyes still on Jordan.
“Mom,” she complained.
I snapped my eyes to hers. “No whining, Paige Marie. If you’re going to be outside playing, you’ll want it out of your face, anyway.”
“But it takes forever to braid.”
“Jordan and I need to talk about some work stuff real quick, anyway. Now, go braid your hair and then you can keep watching Game Day until he comes to get you.”
Paige pouted, but did as I said, and Jordan’s smile climbed a little when we were alone.
Just being near him had my body reacting, like every nerve was waking and reaching for him instinctively. The memory of his lips on mine, of his hands on my hips, of his thighs — big and strong beneath me as I rode him… it all came back to me in a series of flashes, and I blushed so furiously I thought my face would ignite.
“I know you already have plenty of flowers in your garden,” he finally said, taking a few steps toward me and holding out the bouquet. “But… well, I was brought up to bring a woman flowers when you care about her, and for no reason at all. So…” He shrugged, grabbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “I hope you like daisies.”