That afternoon in her backyard, she told me what she could give me, and what she couldn’t.
When I asked her to join us for Thanksgiving, she’d asked me for more time.
And now, it was two days before Noah’s wedding, and we hadn’t come back to that conversation to discuss her part of the deal.
I’d done what she needed me to do — stayed quiet, kept our relationship a secret, respected the boundaries she’d put in place. She assured me the time was coming, that she needed to do it her way, and I believed her.
But I wanted her so badly I couldn’t bear the weight of not knowing if she felt the same way I did any longer.
And I knew I had to ask her tonight — before the wedding, before I had the chance to fall any further.
Though I knew in my gut it was already too late.
Another roar came from the group in the living room, and it shook me out of my daze. I chanced one last glance at my mother and Sydney together before I leaned over the back of the couch where Noah and Mikey sat. Logan was in Dad’s old recliner.
And Paige was smack dab in the middle of the floor, sitting on her knees, eyes glued to the television.
“I told you the Cowboys didn’t have a chance against the Bills’ defense,” she said, looking pointedly over her shoulder at Noah. “This isn’t 2007.”
“Were you even alive in 2007?” Mikey asked.
Paige turned back to the TV with a flick of her wild, wavy hair that had me stifling a laugh. “Doesn’t matter if I was or not. I clearly know more about football than any of you do.”
Noah’s mouth popped open, him and Mikey exchanging glances before they looked over their shoulders and up at me.
Logan chuckled. “I like this kid.”
“Me, too,” I said, and Paige smiled back at me with pride.
A battle of emotions roared on inside me as the cheers roared on at the AT&T Stadium. I both loved having Sydney and Paige at my mother’s house for Thanksgiving and loathed it, because I’d never brought anyone home with me before, and because they fit in like they’d always been here, and because I knew without having to ask that my mom was already falling in love with Sydney — her heart easier to win than my own — and that my brothers would already go to war to protect Paige, if they had to.
It was the weekend before my brother’s wedding, and we were all gathered in the same place for the first time in months — Mikey and Kylie home from New York, Ruby Grace no longer separated from Noah with her AmeriCorps contract, and Mallory and Logan closer than ever with a baby on the way. Mom was at the head of it all, watching her family grow, and all the while, I thought I’d been flying under the radar, watching from a distance with nothing to add but a hug or a small piece of advice from time to time.
But I was here with someone I loved, too.
Even if she had no idea.
And maybe what scared me most was that having her and Paige here was a reciprocation, the missing piece I didn’t realize I’d wanted so badly. For months, I’d spent days and nights in their home, learning who they were as a family.
The fact was that Sydney and Paige already felt like my family, too.
My stomach rolled more with every minute, and I wondered how I’d be able to eat. I was just about to make my way into the kitchen to pour an old fashioned that I hoped would settle my nerves when Mikey threw one arm over the couch to look at me again.
“So,” he said. “One week from tomorrow, you’ll be fighting for that trophy again. How you feeling?”
I blew out a long breath, leaning over the couch again and clasping my hands where they hung between my brothers. “The team is ready. They’re strong, talented, and thanks to Sydney, all in a pretty healthy shape, too. But,” I added, scratching my jaw with my eyes on the television. “Pressure gets to them. I saw it in the first home game, and again twice after when we played our biggest rivals. They get sloppy, and don’t play smart. If that happens next week, we don’t have a chance.”
“You know what I think?” Paige said, standing and flopping down in the middle of the couch between my brothers, her chin turned up toward me.
“No, but I bet you’re gonna tell me.”
“You need to ask Rodgers to get them in the zone before Friday.”
I cocked a brow, waiting, because I knew she wasn’t done.
“What I mean is, he’s the quarterback, right? And the team captain. But, he’s a quiet guy — kind of like you, Coach. And I think that’s why the team respects you so much. They know that when you say something, it’s because it’s important. And, well, I think it’s like that with Rodgers, too. I think if you pulled him aside and asked him to step up this week, and suddenly their leader was speaking out, telling them the errors he sees, suggesting what they need to pay attention to?” Paige shrugged. “We’d win for sure.”