Old Fashioned - Becker Brothers

And I still had Randy, though I wish I could be severed from him forever.

If anyone would understand that, it would be Mallory, I realized sickly.

I didn’t know her very well, as she had just pointed out, but thanks to Randy getting drunk one night and bragging about it, I knew that he’d made a move on her when she was younger.

Too young.

And that he’d embarrassed her in front of a room of men.

I shivered at the thought, lost in another time, and when I didn’t answer, Mallory smiled, bumping my elbow with hers. “Hey, don’t sweat it. I know what it’s like to want to keep things private for a while.” She handed me a plate before working on the next one in the stack beside her. “Logan and I, we couldn’t tell anyone when we were together — not when there were so many… complications. And things were so messy for a long time. I hurt him,” she admitted. “Badly. But we found our way, eventually.”

I still didn’t say anything, not wanting to own up to me and Jordan being more than friends, even though I knew it was silly to think everyone in that house didn’t know.

Except for Paige — at least, I hoped.

Besides, my mind was on another topic now, one that I couldn’t ignore.

“Oh,” Mallory said, dropping the plate she was washing into the sink of soapy water and bending at an awkward angle, her hand on her lower back.

“Are you okay?” I asked, drying my hands like I was about to have to spring into action.

Mallory waved me off. “Fine. I’ve just been getting some back pains recently. But honestly, compared to the first trimester?” She shook her head. “This is heaven. I have more energy finally, and the nausea is gone — at least, for now. I’ve been craving some really strange food combinations, like — have you ever had French fries dipped in a malt from Blondies?” She mouthed oh my God, her eyes rolling up to the ceiling. “And it seems to feel better when I’m standing or moving around rather than sitting. But, otherwise? I’m feeling dandy.”

I chuckled, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I really hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but this is the honeymoon stage of your pregnancy. Enjoy it while it lasts, because around the next corner is a whole lot of fuck this shit.”

She burst out laughing, returning her hands to the soapy water as I readied myself beside her to continue rinsing.

We were quiet for a pause, and I frowned, my rib cage shrinking in on my lungs as I considered what I was about to say to Mallory. I couldn’t explain why I wanted to, or why I felt comfortable enough to. Honestly, I didn’t feel comfortable.

But I needed to talk to her.

I needed to get this out.

“Mallory,” I said, keeping my eyes on my hands as I rinsed a plate and she handed me another one. “I owe you an apology.”

Mallory paused. “What for? I told you I want to be in here doing dishes. Please don’t make me go talk about ribbons and seating charts.”

I couldn’t find it in me to smile. Instead, I pinched the bridge of my nose with my wet fingers, leaning a hip against the counter. “No, no… it’s not about now. It’s about…” I sighed, looking at her with remorse. Suddenly, I didn’t have the words.

“What is it?” she asked, her brows bending together.

My stomach fell to the floor before settling again, and I forced a breath. “Mallory, I am not proud of how long I put up with Randy’s shit. Our relationship turned sour so early, early enough that I should have known it would never be okay, but I stayed, anyway.”

Mallory’s face went blank at the sound of Randy’s name, and she’d turned back to the water, working on scrubbing the spatulas and serving spoons. She handed them to me to rinse without looking at me again.

“I was young,” I said. “Not that that’s an excuse, but… I… I didn’t know how bad everything was, how much he was hiding from me. I had clues, but…” I was stumbling, and I shook my head, trying to clear the fog. “What I’m trying to say is though I am ashamed of how long I stayed with him, and what I put up with, I am the most ashamed of the fact that I knew he disrespected you, and I did nothing about it.”

Mallory’s hands went shock still in the water, and she slowly withdrew them, still not looking at me.

“I don’t know everything,” I said, lowering my voice to a whisper as I checked over my shoulder to ensure no one was listening to us. “But I heard him talking to his friends about that night in your dad’s casino. He said… awful, inappropriate things about you, and about other girls who were far too young for him. And I…” I teared up, shaking my head as I lowered it in shame.