Old Fashioned - Becker Brothers

His biological mother was Mary Scooter.

Laurelei and John had hid that from him his entire life.

And, the latest development which had knocked him breathless… Mary had told him who his father was.

So, on Friday night, I sat next to Jordan on Elijah Braxton’s back porch with my hand in his, squeezing it every now and then for comfort, as he told his biological father everything.

It was a cold December night, but Eli had a fire going, and we sat around it with our coats and scarves and blankets over our laps. Eli and Jordan were sharing a bottle of whiskey and trying to share a lifetime of what they’d missed, too.

It turned out that Mary had never even told Eli about Jordan.

He had no idea he was a father.

He had no idea that he’d been watching his son coach the high school team all this time.

For hours, they swapped stories, and asked questions, and looked at each other in a way that I could never describe in words. I was quiet for most of the night, just there for support, witnessing a beautiful moment I was sure Jordan never thought he’d have.

“I can’t believe she never told you about me,” Jordan mused as the fire died down, shaking his head with his eyes on the weakening flames. “I mean, I guess I can now that I’ve discovered the other secrets that family has been hoarding but… I’m just so lost as to how she could have lived with herself, knowing what she’d done, what she’d hidden.”

Eli adjusted his beanie over his ears, tossing another log onto the fire and poking at it before he sat back in his chair. “Mary was a complicated girl,” he said. “I knew it when we were in high school, and I knew it when she gave me that first look when I went over to her place to work on the plumbing in their housing extension. That was when it all started. She was bored, or felt mistreated, or maybe both. But… she was also lovely, and kind, and innocent in her own way. She just wanted to be loved,” he said with a shrug, as if it was obvious. “And she’s not the only guilty one here, either,” he pointed out. “I knew she was married, and I fell into temptation with her, anyway.”

“The affair is one thing,” Jordan said. “But, not telling you that you had a child?”

“I know,” he said, letting out a slow breath. “Trust me, it pains me as much as I imagine it pains you. But, something I’ve learned in my years is not to spend time or energy being angry about the past, or letting someone else’s actions dictate how I handle my own life.” He looked at Jordan then with a small smile. “We didn’t know about each other before, but we know now. And I bet we still have a lot of life yet to spend together as father and son.” At that, his smile fell, and he swallowed. “That is, if you want to.”

“Of course, I want to,” Jordan answered, frowning. “I’ve been wondering who you were my entire life. I just… I don’t know how to handle knowing Mary is my mother.” He made a face, one that passed over him every time the subject came up. “I’m… I don’t know. I feel a little lost, if I’m being honest.”

“I think anyone would be, if they were in your shoes,” Eli offered, and I squeezed Jordan’s hand where I held it under the blanket over my lap, letting him know I agreed.

“It’s funny,” Jordan mused. “I always thought if I found out who my real parents were, I’d feel complete, whole, like a missing puzzle piece had finally been found. But… I feel the exact opposite. I feel like an imposter in the family I’ve always known, and like I don’t know where I belong.”

My heart broke with his admission, and I squeezed his hand again, leaning my head on his shoulder.

Eli leaned toward him, too, balancing his elbows on his knees as he locked eyes with his son. “You listen to me. That family — Laurelei, your brothers — they are still your family. They always have been, and they always will be. You hear me?” He paused. “And furthermore, John will always be your father. And I can tell you with absolute certainty that if he were here, he’d tell you right now how proud he is of you, and how much he loves you.”

Jordan’s eyes filled with tears, but not a single one fell.

“You and I, we got some time to make up for. And our relationship will not be like the relationship that other sons and fathers have. It won’t be anything like the one you had with John. And that’s okay, Son. What we have will be different, but it will be our own. And I know it feels impossible right now, but you might even find a relationship with Mary one day, too. And that will be different. It will be nothing like your relationship with Laurelei.” He leaned down until Jordan’s eyes met his again. “And that’s okay, too.”