But I’m already a senior, and I’m just now thinking about my career after college.
To say I’m behind is an understatement.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Kip asks. “I know you started taking some entrepreneurship and business classes this semester, but we haven’t talked about how they’re going. Do you like them? Do you feel like they fit you?”
Anxiety flares in my chest, as it often does when I try to find out where I fit in. It’s been like that my entire life. The only place I’ve really been able to find my footing is in Kappa Kappa Beta and the Greek community at Palm South.
Once I graduate, all that will be gone, too.
I shake my head, forcing a smile. “Not right now. I don’t really have much to say yet since it’s only been a few weeks. Besides,” I say, waggling my eyebrows as I pull on the slick, black vest and button it up, standing back with my arms wide. “This sexy thing has a shift to work on the casino boat.”
Kip smiles, too, but his blue eyes shine with worry. “I wish I was there to hold you in my arms right now.”
My smile falls at that. “Me, too.”
A long moment stretches between us, and finally Kip sighs, his smile genuine again. “They’re all going to love you. I can’t wait to hear how much you make in tips.”
“It’s going to be keeping my mouth shut when they do something stupid that will be hard.”
He barks out a laugh at that. “Nah, don’t hold back. School ’em. Maybe they’ll tip you more if you give them advice and they win.”
I point at him in a touché gesture, and then lean forward, blowing him one more kiss. He catches it, holds it, and then throws it up to the sky — something we’ve done every time we can since his dad passed away. It’s a little reminder to keep him in our hearts, and also to live each day to the fullest.
“I’ll text you after my shift,” I say, knowing that even though it’ll be late here, the night will just be getting started in California. “Have fun at the party, but tell Rick to fight the girls off you for me.”
“You’re the only girl for me and everyone here knows it.”
I smile at that, giving him one last longing look before I close the screen on my laptop. Then, I look in the floor-length mirror in the room I share with Jess, adjusting the ridiculous bow tie and sighing at the way the work uniform hides all of my best features. I look like I’m wearing a large potato bag painted black, white, and red.
But as much as I don’t have the desire to play poker professionally, I can’t deny the rush flowing through me at the thought of being around other players. I’ll be dealing blackjack most of the night, and if I have my charm turned up to a hundred, I’ll also be walking out with a pocket full of cash in tips.
It isn’t the Friday night I’m used to. I should be getting ready to go to a party with Jess and Lei, preparing myself to take shots instead of to take chips. But something tells me this casino boat is where I need to be, that even though I’m not playing poker for money, I’m not quite done with it yet, either.
With a strange, unfamiliar feeling floating in my stomach, I push all my anxious thoughts down and cover my lips in matte red lipstick for good measure. Then, I head to work.
I think of Kip the entire drive.“AND FOR HALLOWEEN, THE sandbar party was a success last year,” I say, tapping through the lists of things in my notebook that I wanted to discuss with Jeremy. He sits on my bed, looking bored, tossing my baseball up into the air over and over again while I ramble away. “I think we should do it again. But maybe bigger this time.” I pause. “Do you think we could get a DJ out there?”
Jeremy tosses the ball up. “Everyone plays music on their boats,” he pointed out. “I think it’d be too much noise.”
“But if the DJ was in the middle,” I pointed out. “It’d be an attraction, something to draw people onto the island more so than just into the boats.”
“True.” He snatches the ball from the air and sits up. “But first, I think you need to remain focused on this karaoke thing.”
“It’s pretty much handled,” I say, waving him off. That fresh energy I get from making a list, a plan, a new goal rushes through me, and I smile, jotting down more ideas.
“I’m serious, man,” he says. “The event is a couple weeks away and there’s still so much we haven’t nailed down. We need an emcee. We need monitors. We still haven’t received the entry fee from half of the fraternities and sororities who’ve entered. Plus, we haven’t talked at all about day-of fundraising tactics.”