Ritual - Palm South University

Jeremy continues on, but my phone buzzes on my desk with a reminder that Cassie’s class ends in fifteen minutes, and already, I’m closing up my notebook and packing my bag to go meet her.

“… the food and the…” He stops. “Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah,” I answer easily. “I gotta go, but don’t worry, okay?” I slap him on the shoulder as I swing my backpack onto mine. “I’ve got this under control.”

Jeremy stops me before I can turn, his hand landing hard on my forearm. “I’m serious, Adam. This is your second year as president — something no one in this fraternity has done before. And I’m just saying, I’m not the only one who notices that you’re a little distracted.”

I frown. “Distracted?”

“With Cassie.”

At that, my expression hardens. “What does she have to do with anything?”

“I’m just saying,” he says with his palms out. “You two have always been dancing around each other. This is your first time being together, and, well… let’s just say it’s very apparent that she’s the first priority for you right now.”

My defenses spike, and I point a finger at my closest fraternity brother, narrowing my gaze. “I’ve been present for everything. I’ve been running Chapter, coming up with new ideas for the semester, already planning for Rush that isn’t even until the spring, and I literally brainstormed and made this entire karaoke fundraising event come together in just weeks.” I shake my head. “I can be happy with Cassie and still get shit done. If anything, she’s motivated me to do even more.”

Jeremy folds his arms over his chest. “You’ve been here, yes, but you haven’t been present. You’re always on your phone — texting her, calling her, whatever. You spend more time with her than you do with your brothers. It doesn’t matter that you’re here making plans,” he says. “What matters is that you’re here — really and truly here. When was the last time you played video games in the main room? Stayed for a party instead of hiding out in your room with Cassie? Attended an IM game to just be with your brothers instead of watching it with her and then leaving immediately after to go on a date?”

The more he shoots at me, the more my shoulders slump, guilt sinking in. I haven’t even noticed I’ve been doing any of those things, but as he lists them off, my defenses crumble.

Because he’s right.

“I love Cassie,” he says when I don’t respond. “You know that. I’ve wanted you two together for years. But… just remember that we’re your brothers, and as our president, we need your time, too. Especially right now, changing up a concert that’s been working to try something new. This was your idea, brother,” he says, standing. “So, lean into it and help us pull it off successfully.”

I sigh, chest tight with shame. I can always depend on Jeremy to give it to me straight, but I hate what I’m hearing from him in this moment.

“I hear you,” I say, gripping his shoulder in one hand as I level my gaze with his. “Thank you for helping me see what I couldn’t. I promise, I’m here, and I’ll be here more. Don’t worry about the karaoke event this weekend,” I assure him. “I’ve got this.”

Jeremy’s lips press together, and he nods once. We exchange a unique handshake we’ve had since freshman year, and he claps me on the back as we head out of my bedroom.

When we make it to the main room, a bunch of our brothers are gathered on the couches and beanbags, watching two seniors battle it out in a game of Madden on the big screen. They welcome Jeremy easily, scooting over on the couch to make more room for him and handing him a beer out of the ice chest at the edge of the coffee table.

Then there are eyes on me.

“Heading out, Pres?” Kade asks, drinking a beer with his eyes still on the screen. He rushed last spring, in Kip’s class, and already he’s been showing leadership potential.

Before I can answer, one of my brothers says, “Of course he is. Time to go pick up Cassie from class, right?”

There’s a snicker from my other brothers, one I wouldn’t have even noticed had Jeremy not just had the conversation with me that he had. Before, I would have laughed it off, said something to the effect of you bet your ass. But now, I watch them exchange knowing looks, feeling like an outsider in the family I spent the last year building.

“I’ll be back after lunch,” I say.

“Yeah. See ya,” Kade replies.

And then the attention is back on the game, and I’m invisible.

My mind is spinning the entire walk across campus to the Science Building, and I chase each thought, holding onto it by the tail before it wriggles free and another comes into view.