Ritual - Palm South University

I swallow. “It was different with Jarrett.”

“Different good or different bad?” Skyler asks.

“Just… different. We weren’t just fucking. We had a relationship.”

“Is that what you want with Kade?” Erin asks.

And the question hits me like a semi-truck.

I freeze, shock still, holding my drink in my hand with the sun warming my skin.

“Jess?” Erin asks.

But I can’t respond. I’m too busy turning her question over and over in my head, like the winning numbers of the lottery just waiting to be plucked out.

Holy fucking shit.

Do I want a relationship with Kade?

I mean, obviously, I want more — that much was established when I dragged his ass into the tent during the Halloween party and told him I wanted to be his and for him to be mine. But, at the time, I’d been so focused on the fact that I didn’t want him with any other girl, that I hadn’t paused to ask myself what exactly I wanted from him — other than to fuck me exclusively.

And now that I’d asked myself the question, my reaction told me all I needed to know.

Skyler snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to J-Love.”

I groan, sinking back in my chair and abandoning my drink on the table so I can scrub my hands over my face. “Oh, God.”

“What?” Cassie asks, worried.

I sigh. “I do.”

The girls fall silent, exchanging glances.

“I do want a relationship.”

At that, Ashlei laughs, reaching over to squeeze my forearm. “You say that like you just realized you’re an alcoholic or something. Wanting a relationship isn’t bad, babe.”

My next swallow is impossible, like I’ve just eaten forty-five saltines without a glass of water to help out. “It is when I’m pretty fucking certain that is not what he wants,” I argue. Then, I lock eyes with her. “And that the last time I was in a relationship, I had my heart shattered.”

Again, the girls exchange glances, and then Skyler gets up from her chair and sits down at the foot of mine, leaning in to look me in the eyes. “Hey, love is fucking scary, okay? I think if anyone gets that, it’s this group of girls.”

Everyone nods, and my chest tightens with discomfort. I want to crawl inside a hole and hide forever.

“What if you just asked him?” Skyler suggests.

“Ask him what?”

“Ask him on a date,” she says with a shrug. “Or, better yet, tell him you’re going on a date. See what he says.”

My instant reaction is to shake my head and scream out absolutely not, but her words slide over me like silk, and I lean into them, wrapping them around myself like a blanket.

Could it be that simple?

Could I just tell Kade what I want, and him reciprocate it?

Everything in my body screams a resounding hell no, but already, I’m up out of my chair, throwing on my cover up and sliding into my sandals.

“Where are you going?” Erin asks.

“To the Alpha Sigma house.”

“To…?”

I look at all of them. “To tell that motherfucker that he’s taking me on a date.”

That earns me a burst of laughter, and they each smack my ass and holler out encouragements as I dash out of the backyard and down Greek Row.

I burst into the A Sig house just like I did that first time I came to tease Kade, only this time, the house is mostly empty — likely due to it being such a beautiful day outside. I head straight back to Kade’s room, but find it empty, and I frown, hanging my hands on my hips.

Where are you? I text him.

The house. What’s up?

Where at in the house?

Outside playing beer pong with the guys.

I weave my way through the house and outside, and there are at least a dozen brothers in their swim trunks, jamming to country music and playing beer pong and having an arm-wrestling competition at a nearby table.

At the sight of me, all the commotion stops.

Kade’s right in the middle of a game, and before he can shoot the ping pong ball across the table and into his opponent’s cup, I slide in front of him, taking it from his hand.

“What the—”

“I want more.”

Kade’s smile slips off his face at my words, and he shoves his sunglasses up onto the top of his head, cocking a brow at me. “Um… hi?”

“Hi,” I say. “I want more.”

“More what?”

“More than mind-blowing, toe-curling, name-screaming sex.”

That earns a few whistles and atta boys from his brothers, and I flick them all off before crossing my arms over my chest and focusing back on Kade. The noise around us picks up again, as if everyone has gone back to their business while Kade smirks down at me.

“Okay, then,” he says, leaning a hip against the table. “What do you want?”

“I want to go on a date.”

Kade’s eyes trail over me, locking on my cleavage still visible even in my cover up. When his eyes find mine again, his grin widens. “Friday?”