Forever Pucked (Pucked 4)

“He’ll ask for help if he needs it. He always does. He’ll be an awesome dad.”

Alex is quiet for a while—so long I’m not sure if he disagrees or maybe he’s fallen asleep. “Do you think I’ll be an awesome dad?”

There’s no hesitation in my response. “Of course.” He’ll be doting, wonderful, and probably a whole lot overprotective. Lord help us if we have a girl somewhere down the line. “You know, as much of a shock as it is and how the timing could be better, it could be way worse.”

“How so?” Alex asks.

“Well, first of all, at least it’s not her ex-boyfriend’s baby.”

“You mean Kale?”

“Yeah. That guy’s a dick.”

Alex nods. “He really is. Miller’s a good guy; I know that. I just feel like all this has happened really fast for the two of them, and Sunny has always wanted a career. This is going to put that on hold.”

I repeat Sunny’s words. “Things happen that are beyond our control all the time, Alex.”

He sighs. “I figured we’d have kids before they did.”

I consider that as he strokes the nape of my neck with his thumb. It’s softer than usual, possibly because he hasn’t been on the ice, wearing those gloves, or lifting weights.

As juvenile as it might be, Alex is very much a competitive person. He’s used to being the center of attention all the time, and Sunny has never been one to steal the limelight. Until now. I think I was right. This really is bugging him. “Is this about being first? Or because Sunny’s stealing your spotlight?”

“What?”

I lift my head off his chest so I can look at him. “Is this because Sunny’s younger and doing it first?”

Alex regards me for a long time while he chews on the inside of his lip. “Having kids young isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

I don’t fail to notice he hasn’t answered the question. When all I do is stare, Alex takes the opportunity to explain.

“Think about it, Violet, that kid is going to be out of the house before those two are fifty.”

“And? What does that matter?”

“They’ll have all this time after they retire to do whatever they want. By the time they’re in their forties, the kid will basically be doing his own thing—or her own thing. Think about all that time together. Alone. With no real responsibilities other than making sure the kids don’t fuck up their post-secondary education.”

“Buck dropped out after the first semester of college and Sunny’s going to get a diploma she might never use,” I point out.

“She can focus on a career later, if she wants one,” Alex argues.

“If she wants a career? You think she won’t?”

He lifts his good shoulder in response.

“She could’ve moved here, dropped out of college, and sponged off you, but she doesn’t. She pays rent, and she actually thinks it’s going toward the mortgage.”

“Putting money into stocks for her is a good financial investment.”

“I’m not saying it isn’t. But she very easily could’ve shacked up with Buck and not paid rent at all. She chose not to. Just like I chose to live in that shitty apartment for a while with my stinky, metal-loving stalker neighbor. Just like I want to keep my job in some capacity, at least for a few more years until I get used to all of this.” I gesture to the room and the massive bed we’re lying on.

“I don’t want to take away the things that make you you, Violet.” Alex seems distressed, maybe by the parallels I’ve drawn between me and Sunny. “That’s never been my intention. I want to build us a life that’s going to allow you to do all the things you want and more.”

I touch his pretty, beat-up face. “I know that. It’s just… It can be scary being engaged to a man who can give me everything, because this is all I have.” I gesture to my rack, trying to lift the weight of this conversation.

Alex doesn’t take the bait. “Baby, you underestimate how incredible you are. Even though it’s a challenge and sometimes seriously inconvenient for me, I love that you assert your independence, that you have your own mind.”

His acknowledgement makes me feel all warm and gooey, liked melted caramels. “So you get that Sunny needs to be her own person. She doesn’t want to be defined by who she’s with, either. It’s kind of the reason she was hesitant to date Buck in the first place.”

“She was hesitant about Miller because he fucked anything with a pulse.”

“Okay, fine. That was part of it. But she wants to take care of herself, not have everyone else do it for her. And she didn’t want to end up being like your mom.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the way my mom did things.”

“Maybe the way your mom did things was right for her, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. Isn’t it for Sunny to decide what’s right for her?”