He needed to fix this.Chapter TwelveIan gave up trying to sleep several hours later. Hollis never came to bed, and Ian assumed he’d gone to the guest bedroom to sleep. Either that or he’d sacked out on the couch. They hadn’t slept apart since they’d first moved in together, and he felt the loss like he was missing a limb.
Heart aching, Ian got out of bed and walked down the stairs. Hollis wasn’t on the couch, and Ian knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he did something to fix the rift between them. Hollis meant more to him than anything else in the world.
He could start with chocolate.
Hollis loved anything and everything chocolate. His favorite dessert was something as simple as brownies.
Ian padded into the kitchen and started getting the ingredients for his double fudge. He set out the eggs so they’d be closer to room temperature while he got down the cocoa, baking soda, sugar, vanilla, and more. He melted butter and started the water to boil. He’d just whip up a batch of these and present them for breakfast. Chocolate for breakfast was bound to get him back into Hollis’s good graces. Or at least talking again.
He couldn’t believe what he’d said to him. That he’d actually said “fuck you” to his husband. Ian never blew up like that. The only time he ever yelled was when he was arguing with Lucas or Snow, and even that was rare.
Shame pinched his chest as he preheated the oven and began to assemble the ingredients. He didn’t use his loud mixer, whipping the batter by hand. By the time he got the pan into the oven, his hands were shaking and he thought of waking Hollis to apologize. But the man needed his sleep, so he stayed in the kitchen.
Soon, the rich scent of fudge filled the condo. Ian leaned against the counter and shut his eyes. He rubbed them hard, feeling so out of sorts. He didn’t know what to do with himself. Sleep called to him, but he needed Hollis more, and their argument sat like a rock in his stomach. Cooking was his only solace, so he decided maybe two chocolate things were better than one. He could make some cookies, too.
He opened his eyes and jumped when he saw Hollis standing in front of him. He wore nothing but a pair of boxers, his big body so damn welcome, Ian’s shoulders slumped as he took a step toward him. Hollis held open his arms and Ian fell into them, wrapping his own tight around Hollis’s back.
“I’m sorry,” they said in unison.
Ian laughed and buried his nose in Hollis’s neck. “Did I wake you?”
“No, I couldn’t sleep. The wonderful scent coming from the oven brought me downstairs. I guessed you were doing what you always do when upset. Cooking. I’m sorry you’re so sad, but whatever that is smells delicious.”
“You don’t recognize your favorite brownies? I thought chocolate might help me apologize better.”
“You don’t have to apologize in any special way. You’re going through hell right now and we have nothing to go on, so it’s frustrating and upsetting. You’re so strong to be holding it together as much as you are.” Hollis pressed his lips to Ian’s forehead. “I’m sorry I lost my temper earlier.”
“We both did. I think this has just been building inside me, and I felt ready to explode. Shouldn’t have done it all over you.”
“I’m here for the bad as well as the good. I’m here for everything. I love you so much, Ian.”
“I know.” He pulled away so he could see Hollis but kept their lower bodies together. “We both need to do a better job of talking.”
Hollis frowned, sadness creeping into his beautiful blue eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Reaching up, Ian gently laid his hand against Hollis’s cheek, rough with whiskers. “I know, but I don’t want you hurting either. Don’t want you to feel like you’re alone and have no one to talk to. That kills me. You’re the most important thing to me in the whole world.”
Hollis closed his eyes and leaned his cheek into Ian’s touch. Ian could feel some of the lingering tightness leaving his hard muscles as he relaxed further against Ian. “Thank you,” Hollis whispered. Those two words were choked with emotion, and Ian could feel a knot forming in his throat. He never wanted Hollis to be in pain for any reason.
“And when we’re done talking, I can always make brownies,” Ian said. When Hollis opened his eyes again, Ian nodded his head toward the oven with a small smile.
“I don’t give a damn about the brownies. You’re all I need. I only followed the smell because it let me know you were awake down here.”
“I was about to make cookies, too.”